‘Yongguk! Stop this now!’ I heard Himchan yell from beside me, the second eldest was beside his best friend in the blink of an eye, my boyfriend stood over the maknae who was now bleeding from a cut on his left cheek, Bang’s eyes were filled with pure rage as his jaw clenched impossibly tight and his hands never uncurled from their fists, as for Zelo’s eyes, they had never left mine, even during his fall his chocolate eyes had not once unfocused from my own wide orbs. ‘Yongguk I said stop!’ Himchan repeated, grabbing desperately at the leaders silk suit, Yongguk simply shrugged him off and continued to lift Zelo high into the air by his collar.

‘How could you?!’ He screamed into Zelo’s face, ‘You’re a lying little bastard!!!’ Bang yelled once again before dropping Zelo to his feet and slamming his right fist into Zelo’s face once again, sending the maknae spilling backwards but somehow managing to stay on his feet, by this point the fans were screaming and shouting wondering what was going on, Daehyun, Youngjae and Jong Up were all shocked and dumbfounded as they watched from a few feet away, as more myself I was shaking, my whole body had become brittle and was trembling, with what, I didn’t know. Something wet fell onto my arm and made me jump slightly, looking down I saw a clear drop sliding down my arm and reaching my palm before slinking to the floor and landing with a silent ‘splat’. Something the colour yellow snapping around caught my attention, dragging my gaze from my hand I looked up to see it was Zelo’s head that had snapped around, his eyes had become narrow as he looked from my tear stained face to his hyung who had Himchan still trying to push him away.

‘That’s enough hyung, look what you’ve made her do…’ Zelo spoke finally, his voice was low and cold sending further and more menacing shivers throughout my suddenly aching body, ‘Do what you like to me but… Don’t you dare upset her!’ he hissed lunging forward with his right fist, ‘thwack!’ was the sickening sound as his knuckles met Bang’s stomach. Bang’s usually warm eyes widened in shock as he stumbled backwards into Himchan’s ready arms, ‘Now get the hell out of my face before I do something I’ll regret!’ the maknae warned making his hyungs gape in shock.

‘You two help me now!’ Himchan yelled at Youngjae and Jong Up, the two other blondes quickly ran over and took hold of Bang tightly pulling him away with Himchan close behind, warning Yongguk to keep moving or he’d regret it if he didn’t, just before Yongguk disappeared into the darkness of behind stage he glanced once more over his shoulder, locking eyes with me a crinkle formed between his eyebrows as he frowned and shook his head making the freefalling tears fly from his eyes. With one more prod from Himchan he melted into the shadows leaving Daehyun, Zelo and I, looking around I was surprised to see most of the audience cleared out by now, my ears rang as the echo of their cries replayed in my mind again and again…

‘Serena… Serena!’ Daehyun’s clear voice snapped me out of my daze as I blinked and looked around once more before resting my eyes on his dark pools, ‘We need to get you out of here, now, Zelo too.’ He said shortly and grabbed my wrist before holding Zelo’s shaking fist and leading us another way out, stumbling down a few stairs Daehyun let go of me briefly to shove open heavy double doors and pull Zelo and I out, the cool night air wrapped around me and felt like a ice cold slap across my cheek. Wrapping my arms around me I shivered letting the microphone I still had in my hand roll out of it and hit the floor making a loud clattering sound as it broke, ‘You’re cold… I’m going to go get you your jacket.’ Daehyun said in a calm and reasonable tone before heading back the way we had come.

‘I’m sorry…’ a soft voice spoke into the cool midnight air, ‘For everything, I didn’t mean for it to go like this, honest… Serena just…’ tilting my head up I looked at Zelo whose lips were not their usually lively pink and instead pale and quivering as he struggled to get the words out, ‘I shouldn’t have punched Bang…’

‘Why are you saying that? Why are you saying any of this Zelo…?’ my mind screamed at me, all I wanted to do was push the key into the lock and twist it allowing all my hurt to flow through, I was tired of hearing about others pain, yes fine that sounded selfish but was it really? Look at what I’ve been through tonight alone; was I to be subjected to countless occurrences like this in the days and nights to come? I didn’t want any of it, not one bit and I wasn’t going to take it. ‘Isn’t it a little late to be saying that Zelo? I don’t… I don’t want to be a part of this if this is what I get… I don’t want any of it!’ I finally screamed grabbing at my hair and letting heavy droplets overflow from my eyes. ‘I don’t want to be in love and cause others pain because of it, I’d rather die alone than cause others pain with my happiness…’ I panted as my chest heaved and my voice hitched at parts of my speech.

‘Don’t say that… You can’t leave-’ Zelo pleaded stepping closer, scrapping my heels against the cold pavement I stumbled back not wanting to be comforted let alone touched, not now, I didn’t want anyone touching me.

‘Get away from me Zelo… Who says I can’t leave? Did I become your slave? What the hell am I to you?! Some toy?!’ I cried out holding my arms against me tighter as a shooting pain sprang into my temples from the crying, grinding my teeth I stood up straight and dared to look the maknae in the eyes.

‘Serena… Your words are like daggers… cold rusted piercing daggers. Stop saying these things, you know I don’t think of you like that, I love you-’

‘Don’t you dare… Don’t you dare say those words, they mean nothing to me, nothing! Not from you or Yongguk!’ His already large sorrowful eyes widened tenfold as tears started stinging his eyes, never the less I continued in my steely and dead tone, ‘I don’t want to see any of you ever again, I’m leaving, I’ll be out of all of your lives and that way you can forget about me, you don’t know a Serena, you don’t know a girl whose heart was broken into a thousand tiny pieces tonight, you don’t know me.’ I breathed in a shaky breath before biting down on the inside of my cheek to stop even more tears from falling, I would not cry any more not for me and certainly not for them, I’d done enough of that already and I was tired of it.

‘I brought you a jacket.’ Daehyun said slowly making his way over to me, stepping back I shook my head and looked at the masked boy, ‘What’s going on…?’ he asked glancing between Zelo, who was starting to lose control and sobbing into his fists, to myself, who was taking continuous steps back. ‘You need to come inside, the manager needs to speak with you and Zelo, about… all of this.’ Daehyun said gravely taking a few steps towards me. Shaking my head once more I backed up until my back hit the wall of the building.

‘I can’t Daehyun… Forget everything that happened, if I disappear B.A.P will be fine right? Everything can be covered up and no one will ever know about me or what really happened right?’ Daehyun frowned but nodded confirming for me that it was best I just left. ‘Good… Well, then I’m leaving, goodbye Daehyun…’ he stepped forward once more and pulled off his mask revealing his lips slightly parted as if he wanted to say something, to perhaps stop me but I didn’t give him time, glancing at Zelo before I ducked my head I my heel and fled, away from the pain, the ruthless and merciless pain that swelled up inside my heart and threatened to explode, leaking poison throughout my body I knew it wouldn’t be able to cope with.

‘Serena, wait! Wait!’ I heard Daehyun’s fruitless cries behind me mixed with Zelo’s heart wracking sobs and my own heart beating out of time, to a toxic rhythm that I knew in the weeks, months and even years to come would become second nature to me, pushing my legs as fast as they could go I kept running, running and fleeing as far as they would take me, I no longer had a place I felt I could call home, I didn’t belong anywhere anymore and I felt sick to my core at the thought. Taking a sharp left I felt lost in more ways than one, I didn’t know where I was, tripping over god knows what, I fell hard and landed face down on the cold and unrelenting pavement, feeling my left temple meet compactly with the floor I blinked trying to focus, with no positive results I let my face rest on the ground as my eyelids refused to stay open.

‘I’m sorry… I’m sorry for ever entering your lives…’ I whispered to myself pitifully, ‘Someone, something… just end this now, please…’ I prayed and pleaded letting my eyelids fall close in defeat. 

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Argggh! I'm so extremely tired xD! I had my first full day of classes today at college and nearly died, I'm so so so tired and bleh, but I'm grateful! Getting back into a working routine the urge to write has returned and I love it since I can't resist, maybe the early signs of a future masochist? Haha nooooo x3 Anyways, this chapter is probably really sad, do you think it is? Did it make you cry? Make you heart ache? Did it make you feel anything at all? Leave a comment below telling me if it did ne? I'd appreciate it a lot! Well enjoy and saranghae! ~ <3