I stood there staring at the still crying maknae as thoughts kept pounding my already muddled mind, this is why he was so mad this morning, this is why he was so sweet to me in the beginning, this is why he teased Bang and this is why he was falling apart in front of me now. He clenched his fists in his hair once again and let out small painful whimpers as large droplets fell from his eyes steadily. I felt sick to my core and wanted to run away, so I did, I ran past Zelo and wrenched open the door making my legs work as hard as I could make them whilst I sprinted down the hallway and burst into the living room causing everyone to turn and look at me, I even made Daehyun jump and drop his fork causing it to clatter to the floor and fill the silent room. By breathing reminded me of Zelo’s causing me to feel even more sick as I stood in the doorway and tried to catch my breath, Himchan got up from his chair and walked over to me quickly and placed his hands on my shoulders looking down at me,

‘Serena, what happened?’ When my ragged breathing was his only answer he turned to Youngjae and spoke with authority, ‘Youngjae, go check on Zelo. Take Jong Up with you.’ I hadn’t noticed the fourth man in the room who was sitting in the window ledge; he placed his book down and got up briskly walking past me and Himchan whilst passing Youngjae a nervous look as they both headed down the hallway. ‘Take it easy Serena, everything will be alright.’ Himchan kept saying as he led me towards where Daehyun was standing, looking up I saw Daehyun frown at Himchan but never said anything. ‘Daehyun,’ Himchan said softly, ‘take Serena outside and try to calm her. I’ll deal with Zelo and get to the bottom of this, I trust you to look after her.’ Himchan said handing me over to Daehyun who simply nodded and wrapped his arm around my waist and my arm around his neck for support. He led us through the front door and stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned towards me,

‘Where would you like me to take you Serena?’ his voice was soft and soothing and I could see why Himchan had trusted me with him so he could calm me, lifting my head to look at him was so difficult as I felt like passing out at any moment so I let it hang as I murmured,

‘Anywhere…’ he nodded once again and pulled me tighter against him as he took me around the back of their house and into a small garden, it was full of roses, violets, lilies and foxgloves and many more I couldn’t name, the garden was bright and alive which was the antitheses to how I felt. Daehyun set me down on the grass in the sun and pulled my hood up over my head for me when he saw me squinting,

‘Bang told me you’re sensitive to bright lights, I know it may be a little uncomfortable for you being in the direct sunlight Serena but right now you’re very cold, like ice and you need warmth.’ I looked down at my hands and saw they were shaking very slightly; I placed them against my face and found I couldn’t feel anything, I was numb. I saw Daehyun frown from the corner of my eye and look up at the sky, silence hung around us and I felt like it was trying to choke and end me. Daehyun moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me resting my head on his shoulders, ‘Sorry if I’m making you feel awkward Serena… I don’t want you getting any more worse than you already are.’ I cringed and realised just how bad I must have looked to him, this was the first time I’d really interacted with Daehyun and I wished it had happened at another time, anything was better than this. A small breeze passed over us and caused me to shiver making me coil into Daehyun and him to hold me tighter, finally he spoke again, ‘I don’t know what happened but I have a pretty good idea… Knowing Zelo it’s exactly what I feared.’ I was starting to feel that Daehyun was probably the smartest or at least most empathetic in the group as he spoke to me, his words never carried any resentment like I’d expect them to as it was me who was tearing his friends apart, instead they were filled with compassion and a certain gentleness. Daehyun sighed and said, ‘Bang will be here soon, I wonder what Himchan-hyung has told him.’ I shivered again except this time not from the wind, Daehyun sensed my uneasiness and apologised quietly. My phone started ringing in my pocket but I was too frozen to pick it up, Daehyun looked at me and then fished my phone out of my pocket and flipped it open answering it, ‘Hello? Oh, yeah she’s with me.’ Silence, ‘Yes, I’ll make sure, she’s a little better. Alright, on it.’ Daehyun closed my phone and slipped it back in my pocket, ‘Serena, I need to get you home okay?’ I nodded and tried standing up but instead stumbled and fell forward as my body became weightless; I hit the ground, hard. Bang’s voice sounded as he called out my name making me want to run to him and find the love I was aching for but the last thing I remembered before passing out was a pain in my right temple and a flash of red behind my eyelids.

 I drifted into black velvet with a smile on my lips.