It was suppose to be another typical and boring day like before until I heard that news from Xiumin hyung. He told me that their relationship is over; he dumped her, again. This time is for his new course mate that he met during his trip to Beijing. When I heard that they already break up, my heart fills with hope. I feel happy just like a little kid who got a special present for her birthday. This will be the perfect time for my confession to her, to that girl who was once my hyung’s girlfriend. Xiumin hyung is so stupid to dump that wonderful girl for some randomgirl that he just met; if I am her boyfriend I would not let her go. She is my beloved noona; my first crush, my guardian angel and my hyung ex-girlfriend. My love for her is inexpressible, but all I am to her is the dongsaeng that she never had. Why can't I be more than that? Am I not good enough? Even if I'm not as charming as my hyung, I can take care of her better than him; I can show her how much I truly love her.

It is almost that time of the year; it is almost the time of my birthday. ‘All I want is to fall in love this year! Oh, all I ever want is to be with her, my guardian angel. That's all I'm asking for,’ I thought to myself as I clasped my hand and closed my eyes; hoping for the heaven to hear my prayer. So, I will meet her there today, at our usual ‘dating’ place and confess my long concealed love to her as she is single and available now. “Ah, the weather is nice”, I said to myself as I entered the place full of beautiful flowers where we suppose to meet each other today. I smile as I look at her picture on my phone that I secretly taken during one of her tutoring session with me last year. Then, I just sit on one of the benches next to a big fountain and look around at the people around me while waiting for her. There is not so many people come here today. Not far from me, I can see a cute little girl, maybe around 5 years old talking with and old man that seem to offer her ice-cream. As I was watching them, suddenly I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. It is a message from her. I smile and read the message.

From: Noona ♥

To: (^_^) Chen Chen

Sorry, I think I’ll be a little late.

Need to meet someone first.

As I am replying the message, I feel something fall onto my forehead. I am wondering what it is and find out that it is a bird poop. I storm straight-away to the fountain to clean the gross thing off my head. The damn bird that did this to me is sipping water leisurely at the same fountain. I look at the bird hatefully and try to chase it away. Then, I stop when I heard someone is calling my name with beautiful voice. It only takes me a few of seconds to find the owner of the soothing and warm voice that can melt my heart. I am looking around, turning and then I spot her; I was about to run quickly into her embrace when there is a sharp voice pierce my ears. I look up just to see Xiumin hyung come towards me together with her, intimately; his hand on her waist and her head on his shoulder. Right now, I really hope that human muscles memory can be function like computer; then I will press the delete button in my memory. So, I will be able to forget about everything. “Hey, what do you want from my girlfriend?” he said to me with a pout on him face. “I... I just want ...” I try to answer him calmly but I keep stutter as I am too shock due of their reconciliation. She flashed that million dollar smile of her and asks, “Is there anything you want me to do for you?” I nod weakly and tell her that I need him to tutor me for my chemistry because I have problem with the subject – which is totally a lie. “Everything for my dongsaeng,” she said and promise that she will tutor me on the weekend. I suppress the urge to cry and try my best to show them that I’m happy when deep down inside I am bleeding severely. Honestly, I hope I can tell her that…

Don't be too kind,

Don’t be too sweet,

Don't be too caring,

Because I might hurt myself; badly…