“Hop in!” Wu Chun told me one Thursday morning. It has been a while since I last saw him. I have been avoiding their group for quite a while now.

“What for?” I was surprised to see him.

“No time for question. We’re running out of time.” He said then handed me a helmet.

I took it and put it on, still confused on what was happening. “How am I going to ride his bike when I’m wearing a skirt?” I asked myself.

“Come on, Ai Wen. We don’t have much time.” He’s voice was really in a hurry.

After a while, I settled on his bike.

“Hold on tight, we’re going to fly.” Then he started the bike and then we flew.

I felt like we were chasing our deaths with his pace. I remember Yan Yalun. This was so opposite on how he drives. Whenever I was with him, he drove as if he’s carrying something fragile. “I wonder where he is right now.”

After some minutes, we reached a chapel out of town.

“What are we doing here Chun?” I asked him as he slowly and carefully removed the helmet from my head.

“You’ll see.” He said with voice full of sadness. “Come on, let’s go inside. They’re waiting for us.” he started walking towards the chapel’s door. But before we reached the first of the low stairs, Chen Yi Ru appeared from the side of the chapel.

“Hey, Ai Wen. I think you’ll need this.” He said then handed me a bouquet of roses, of pale pink roses.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me by saying, “Just say I do.” I was still confused to what I was going to do with the roses and what we’re doing in a chapel.

“To what question?” I asked. But they just shut their mouth and took the low stairs towards the chapel’s door.

I stared at the roses; I remembered that Yan Yalun used to give me these kinds of flowers before. “I wonder what he is doing now.”

Wu Chun and Chen Yi Ru opened the chapel’s door. They both pushed me forward. I looked back at them and I could see tears pooling in their eyes. Both of them were blinking hard, just so the tears won’t fall.

I walked inside the chapel; I was about to the reach the first row when Wang Dong Cheng pulled me to the side. He put a veil on my head. I had my mouth opened the whole time he’s putting the veil on.

I remembered Yan Yalun used to put his jacket around my shoulders whenever he feels that I was cold. “I wonder how he is right now.”

“What is this veil for anyway?” I asked Wang Dong Cheng the moment he finished putting the veil.

“You’ll see.” He said without meeting my eyes. I could hear pain in his voice.

I looked at the bouquet in my hands and felt the veil on my head. “I think I have an idea.” I muttered to myself.

Out of the four, it’s only Yan Yalun that I haven’t seen and based on the things that have happened I have a feeling that his waiting for me at the altar.

I excitedly run in the middle of the aisle to walk towards the arms of my love.

Yan Yalun was the man that I have been waiting for. We’ve been in hell and back.

The last storm that we’ve passed was him going to the US without my knowledge. He said that he’d be back and when he does, I’d have the surprise of my life.

Maybe this was the surprise, him marrying me. With the ts that we’ve planned. Flowers every where, from the carpeted floor to the altar, a choir singing one hundred and one love songs and we’d all hear applause and laughs from everybody.

Then I saw the altar but it wasn’t what I was expecting. Instead of flowers, all I saw were candles everywhere. Instead of love songs, the choir was singing odes and instead of applause and laughs, all I heard were cries and sobs.

I can’t believe what I’m looking at, a silver coffin near the altar. I slowly walked towards it. Afraid of what I’d see inside it.

My questions now have answers. . .

“I wonder where he is right now. . . he’s here lying in his silver coffin. . .

“I wonder what he is doing now. . . he’s doing nothing, not even breathing. . .

“I wonder how he is now. . .he’s dead. . .

I didn’t feel my legs anymore. I could not cry, there were no tears falling from my eyes. I could not breathe, my lungs were buried in shattered pieces of my heart. Then I fell to the ground.

Wu Chun helped me stand up. Chen Yi Ru walked me near the coffin. Wang Dong Cheng opened the lid so I can see Yan Yalun.

“What happened to him? It was just last week that I saw him?” I asked the three in between sobs.

“He was sick. Even before he met you. The operation for his knee back then wasn’t just because of the injuries he had in practice. It was also for his cancer.” Wu Chun answered, already sobbing.

“He went to the US to undergo chemo. He didn’t tell you because he does not want you to worry.” Wang Dong Cheng continued.

“Unfortunately, he didn’t stand the chemos after effect.” Chen Yi Ru finished.

“Oh by the way, Yalun said that we give this to you if in case something happens to him.” Wang Dong Cheng put a box in my hand.

When I opened it, I saw the ring that I told Yalun to buy as our engagement ring, beneath it was a letter saying. . .

“Will you marry me, Ai Wen?”

That was when I gave in. I gave in to the hurt of losing Yalun, the reality of living without him. I cried until my tear ducks run dry and my voice box broke from screaming.

Then, a priest approached me and asked, “Will you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?”

All I could answer was cries.