There’s something incredible about staring up into the sky. The night is so heavy with stars that it feels like the entire universe looming down on him. Millions of bright pricks in a dark arch above his head—the world has never felt so vast before, and the feeling is euphoric. This is the natural world. The sky full of stars, the crisp air, the bark rubbing against his back and legs as he idles his time away in the boughs of a tree. The boy loves this world more than anything, and he feels proud when he looks down and sees an empty highway extending into the far distance.

With the End, all he can hear now is a beautiful silence punctuated by the occasional, drawn out call of an owl; the quietude blankets him and lulls him into a state of peacefulness.

His heart feels like it might expand to the edges of the universe with this sweeping sky. This is how everything is supposed to be. The End is not an end but a new beginning.

If only Sunggyu knew.

-

Sunggyu watches the sky. His sleep in the ditch had been fitful—waking up every hour or so, shivering from the cold. Once upon a time, Sunggyu liked dreams. They were different worlds where he could push the boundaries of reality, but after the End, all he wants now is to pass out into the darkness. He’s had terrible dreams the past two days: some of Myungsoo, staring at him; some of Haneul, transforming on the kitchen floor; some of Woohyun and Sungjong, dying in the street; some of the entire group or even random strangers that he met. The guy from earlier that he shot. Nightmares about Dongwoo smiling at him and chasing him across an icy desert. In that desert, he had died.

Eaten alive. Shot dead. Either he way, he died with a terrifying finality.

The feeling of dying in a dream is pretty awful. It stays with him throughout his bouts of wakefulness, and even as he stares at the stars, he can feel it in his body, a phantom breath of it lingering in his bones.

After shooting the guy yesterday, Sunggyu had felt an emptiness. Not a painful, gnawing emptiness not unlike that of hunger or despair, but just…nothingness. As though someone had dulled his emotions by rubbing them smooth with sandpaper.

He felt bitter after seeing the photo in his wallet, but he would’ve regretted it, right? Sure, the act was survival, but there was something intrinsically wrong with shooting a fellow person in cold blood. Sunggyu was a man of morals, even if he was unsociable. He might’ve yelled at Woohyun and gotten angry with Sungyeol and done a whole million other rotten things, but his conscience never let him get too out of check.

What’s happened to himself? What is he running for? Why does he want to survive?

He has so many questions and zero answers.

He pops another digestive biscuit and keeps it on his tongue, waiting for it to melt away. He can feel Myungsoo’s keys in his pocket. What will he do with those keys—go into Myungsoo’s lab? What on earth will he even do at his lab? It’s not like he’s a virologist or a scientist. Sunggyu dropped out of college during his sophomore year and became a freelance worker. There are worlds between a college dropout and a successful young virologist.

Ah. But he could go to his apartment, though. Sunggyu wonders if Myungsoo had ever had a boyfriend. It seems unlikely, considering how messy his kisses were (although he improved over time). Or maybe Myungsoo even had a girlfriend. He seemed like a straight-laced kind of guy who might give into parental pressure about having kids with a girl. Sunggyu himself left home after an argument over his newfound uality. He wasn’t a man, his dad said. They wanted their own grandchildren, his mom said.

Sungjong, on the other hand, had loving parents. He was the poster boy of the perfect family, and it was no wonder that the End hit him hard. Imagine the two people you love most in the entire world—one eaten by an Endling and the other turned into an Endling. Or the one person, in his own case. Then he thinks about him and Myungsoo. And Dongwoo.

He closes his eyes again; he always feels tired these days, no matter what he eats or what he does. He thinks about how Myungsoo must have died. After killing Woohyun and Sungjong, Dongwoo seemed not to notice Sunggyu and took off running in the direction of the others like a shot. He had a funny way of running that looked more like he was loping, his legs swinging forward with animalistic speed.

Gods, why does he keep coming back to those scenes? Sunggyu shakes out his arms, as though that can rid him of that day. They get more and more vivid as time passes, or maybe that’s just his imagination.

He realizes he misses Woohyun’s incessant talking. Sungjong hanging onto his jacket. Stupid, frivolous things.

Sunggyu thinks he might go crazy without anything to keep him grounded.

So Sunggyu decides that his new goal is making it to Myungsoo’s apartment. And maybe his lab. There are so many things about Myungsoo he never knew because he never took the time to do it, and he thinks that it’s unfair, that he ought to learn about this not-quite-his-boyfriend because Myungsoo took the time to listen to him. Myungsoo was the kind of person that he could trust; he just gave off that feeling. Sunggyu would never tell anyone else but him about Haneul and his life before the End. Except, well, Myungsoo had an upfront way of talking. In a way, it made up for his lack of questions.

“You’ve got trust issues,” Myungsoo once told him when they were alone in a grocery store and the others were scouring the shelves for food and materials. “And some kind of weird commitment issue, I think. Did you ever realize that?”

“Well,” Sunggyu said, pursing his lips. “I trust you, don’t I?”

“Wait.” Myungsoo laughed. “Did you really just say that?”

“No.”

“No, wait, Sunggyu. Please say that again. Really.”

Sunggyu pulled away. “Why?”

“Just…I’ve always wanted you to trust me. I trust you a lot—“ and here he gestured to the keys “—but I felt like I was the only one. I just want you to trust me, no matter what. It’s important to me. It’s the only thing I’d ever ask for from you.”

A pause. Sunggyu looked around to see if any of the others were in earshot, but a quick sweep proved the answer to be no. He fiddled with his sleeve. It would be an thing to do if he said he didn’t trust him. Myungsoo, always the giver but never the taker. He deserved something.

“This is the stupidest thing I have ever said, but Kim Myungsoo, I trust you.”

Myungsoo’s face broke out into a handsome smile, and he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Sunggyu’s mouth. “That’s great.” He kissed him again, even though Sunggyu was pushing gently on his chest. “Honestly,” he laughs, “that’s great.”

boy oh boy did I procrastinate on this one. I wrote like 5/6 of it right after chapter 3 and then...it died. for a long while. so I'm really really sorry about that, but hey! it's finally up! (even if I didn't really do any proofreading because I am tired and it is 2 AM) anyways, this chapter was weird. more weird Myunggyu. tbh, this chapter feels the weirdest out of the four. I can't quite put my finger on why, but it just does. if I'm not too lazy, I will try to fix it. but another heads up - next chapter, I'm planning to actually include some more action. hopefully not just Sunggyu sleeping in ditches and thinking of dead (with the exception of Dongwoo) people because that is depressing. :( 

and hi, all you Donggyu fans, I'm getting back to work on my other fic, The Anthology of Sunggyu's Many Lives Across Multiple Universes. which is actually everyone/Gyu, but I've been working on the Donggyu stories since I've been very into Donggyu lately...and not enough people write it!  :'D speaking of writing stories, I'm doing the Infinite minibang on LJ, and I've written a tiny monster of a story that will be going up in...maybe a little over a week if I remember the dates correctly? 

rambling here. it really helps to have deadlines, since I work pretty well under pressure. I can work without pressure too, but apply just a little, and bam! brain goes into overdrive and then it's like magic how I get things done on time. productivity X100000. and then take the pressure away, and I plod along at the pace of a snail. (slow but steady wins the race? :D)

ah, but the reason why I actually brought up that fic. it really is a small monster, and for the next week, I'll be doing some heavy-duty editing on it to make it more minibang-ready. therefore chapter 5 of "the end" will probably come late. I'd like to actually get a move on The Anthology too, since I've got some ideas for it. but no worries. the mystery of Dongwoo will be revealed in due time....! dun dun dun dun! 

and um, unnecessary hint. that trust talk was not all for nothing. it's not just some random fluff thrown in to stuff Myunggyu's relationship up.

I hope you guys liked this chapter despite the flaws. thank you so much for all of your support even though I'm an awful updater. I don't need 23049832943890 subscribers as long as I have you guys!!! hahaha but really. you guys are awesome. I love everyone's comments so much. <3 thank you thank you thank you.