Infinite - Woohyun

I walked into the theatre along with the other hundred girls trying to grab the front row seats. Maybe since I was by myself, I was able to get a seat in the front.

All the girls were holding presents and signs for their bias, but I had something better.

After some time, the seats were full and the lights started to dim and the fangirls started shouting. The curtains rose and there stood seven guys, waiting for the music to start.

I saw him and my heart started pounding. I hadn’t seen him for a year. The only place I’ve seen him was on TV.

The music started to play and all the fangirls started screaming and standing up but I just sat there. It’s like everything was shut down and the only thing I could see was him. He was dancing perfectly to the rhythm of the music. It was his turn to sing, I would know. He took his spot in the center and started to sing. His specific fans started screaming at the sight of him. He kept his straight face on for the performance.

I smiled, remembering the time he jumped up and down in excitement as he wore his first stage outfit. He danced for me, showing me their dance routine. I remember I was sitting down on the park bench as he danced in front of me. He was so happy about his debut.

The song was over and the members huddled together to introduce themselves. Woohyun started to smile and wave to the fans which drove everyone crazy.

As he was waving, I saw his bracelet. Just like mine. He still had it and he still wore it, even on stage.

I looked down at my bracelet and back up at him. He was laughing with s. They introduced their next song and got into position. Woohyun started walking towards the opposite side, right in front of me. I started to get nervous. Honestly, I didn’t want him to see me. I don’t know why, I just didn’t want him to.

Unluckily for me, as soon as Woohyun walked to his position, he looked at the front row and landed his eyes on me. His face said it all. Kim Saehee, you’re here. His eyes never left me until the music started to play. He paid his attention back to the performance and started to dance. Throughout the performance though, he kept looking at me. At one point, he messed up on the choreography.

I shouldn’t have come.

After several performances, they held a special session where they interacted with their fans. Sungjong was first and he asked, “Who wants to come up to the stage?” Everyone shot their hands up besides me. The last thing I wanted was to be on stage with Woohyun. Sungjong chose a girl in the front row and she immediately ran up to the stage, covering her face as she smiled. “Okay, we’re going to have a diva dance battle. Are you up for it?” The girl started laughing, still covering her face as she nodded. The music started and Sungjong started dancing and pulled the girl in, who also joined. It was a cute sight to watch.

Next was Sungyeol who actually got off the stage and walked towards the back to pick a fan. The girl he chose started jumping up and down as she followed him to the stage. “So who’s your favorite member? It’s me right?” Sungyeol asked her. She started giggling and answered into the mic, “My favorite’s Myungsoo oppa…” Sungyeol dropped his head in shame and walked off the stage. He came back out and went down to the audience and grabbed another fan who was holding a placard that had his name on it.

Woohyun was last and he stood at the center of the stage and looked out the crowd. “Who wants to be chosen?” Everyone rose their hand except me. I just smiled at the two girls going crazy next to me. Woohyun narrowed his eyes at me and pointed. “You since you’re not raising your hand.”

My eyes widened and I started to shake my head. Woohyun tilted his head and jumped off the stage. All the girls started screaming when he walked over to me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me up. “Woohyun-ah, don’t do this.” He pulled me up to the stage and I felt myself turn red.

“So, what’s your name?” Sunggyu asked me. “Kim Saehee.” Sunggyu nodded and asked, “And how old are you?” I said, “20.” Sungyeol looked at me and said, “Oh, you’re the same age as Woohyun.” I shyly smiled. Woohyun then asked, “Who’s your favorite member?” I looked at him. “You.” Woohyun smiled at me. It wasn’t the same smile he showed to his fans. It was the smile he used to always have whenever we were together. The same smile that always made me get butterflies. “Then choose one thing you want me to do and I’ll do it.” I looked at the crowd, then to the members, then Woohyun. Everyone was staring at me.

“I want you to serenade me.”

All the girls started screaming and Woohyun looked down, smiling. I knew for a fact that he was expecting this. He sat me down on a chair and kneeled in front of me. I knew my face was red as a tomato but I didn’t care. He held the mic in front of him and took my hand, holding it tightly.

He sang the song. Our song: Time. All the girls started squealing but they wouldn’t know the meaning. To them, it was only a song that Woohyun sang in the album. They didn’t know that this song was actually dedicated to me. My heart completely melted as he sang the song, looking into my eyes.

I felt like crying, but I held in my tears. I thought back to when Woohyun sang this to me. It was the last day I saw him. I had no right to cry over this. I was the one who broke up with him. I was the one who couldn’t handle his busy schedules.

Woohyun got up and kissed me on the forehead. Everyone went crazy and I covered my face. He said into the mic, “I hope you’ll always remember this day.” I weakly smiled and nodded. I got up to leave the stage but Sunggyu walked up to me and grabbed my arm. “No, you get to go backstage.” My eyes widened and he dragged me towards the back.

I heard Sunggyu say, “Okay, it’s intermission now! We’re going to be performing 3 more songs and the concert’s over.”

I sat down on the couch and looked at the dirty and messy room. I saw the members slowly walk in one by one. Woohyun was the last to come inside and he walked up to me. I stood up.

“Why are you here?”
“Why’d you sing that song?”
“What made you come?”
“Of all the people, why did you choose me?”
“Of all the seats, why did you sit in the front?”
“Why are you still wearing your bracelet?”
“Why are you still wearing your bracelet?”

I was speechless. I had no right to wear that bracelet either. I broke up with him, so why didn’t I throw it away? I just stood there staring at him. He swiftly grabbed my arm and pulled me into his grasp. “Thank you for coming.” I just stood there in his arms. I saw Myungsoo stare at us out of curiosity. “I missed you so much.”

I slowly pulled his arms off and stepped away. “No you don’t.” Woohyun furrowed his eyebrows and stepped closer. “Yes I do.” I stepped away again and weakly smiled. “No you don’t. I’m just a fan.” Woohyun grabbed my arm and held on tightly. “Why…” I pulled my arm away. “I’m just a fan.” I turned around to walk away but I heard something that made me stop.

“Kim Saehee…” I turned back to Woohyun and saw his teary eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?” A tear fell from his eye. I had never seen Woohyun cry before so it broke my heart watching him cry. “I know you still love me. I know you do, so why are you like this? Why do you keep pushing me away? What did I do that was so wrong?” I turned back around and started to walk away but Woohyun ran up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. “I love you.” I tried to take his arms off but Woohyun held on tighter. “I love you so much that I think about you every night. I always question myself about what I could’ve done wrong to make you leave me. I’ve missed you so much. It’s unreal seeing you right now in front of me. Do you know how long I’ve waited to hug you? I’m not going to let you leave me again. I can’t live with myself if I do. Fate’s given me a chance with you and I’m going to hold on.”

I managed to turn around to face him. Just inches away from my face, he stared at me. I carefully said, “You’re an idol. You’ve got dreams to pursue, events to attend, and fans to impress. You can’t possibly have time for me.” I wiped away his tears. “I’d be a big distraction and barrier to your career. I can’t live with that.” I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “And for the record, I love you too.” I pulled out from his grasp and walked away. I found my way to the exit and left the entire building.

As soon as the door behind me closed, I fell on the floor and started to cry. I never wanted to leave him. He was my everything. I left because it was the best choice for him. As his fan base grew, his relationship with me was more at risk. He didn’t have any time to go on dates with me. When he did, he had to cover himself up. I couldn’t handle it. It was too different and uncomfortable for me. I felt stupid for actually coming to this event.

I heard the door behind me open and I immediately stood up and wiped away my tears, which kept flowing out of my eyes. I walked away but someone grabbed my arm. “Uh… Kim Saehee?” I turned around and saw Myungsoo standing there awkwardly. “We should talk.” I stared at him. Why? He pulled me down so that we were sitting next to each other on the curb. “Shouldn’t you be going back?” Myungsoo shook his head. “I’ve got about 20 minutes.” I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about Woohyun if—“

“You’re tearing him apart.” I turned my head to him. “Because of you, he regrets becoming a singer. He’s wanted to quit so many times but no one allowed him to. He’s completely depressed. There were so many times when he ditched practice to go to the Hansang River in hopes of meeting you there. He was heartbroken for more than a year. All you did was break his heart even more. I know it’s hard to continue a relationship with an idol but you’re putting his career on the line by treating him like this.”

“But what can I do? I can’t date him.” Myungsoo smiled and said, “The least you could do is treat him like a friend. Just don’t leave him.” I looked down at my nails. He patted my shoulder and said, “I think you’re smart enough to make the right decision.” Then he walked inside to leave me in deep thought.

----------

I saw their van drive into its spot as I sat on their doorstep. It was quiet as they got off; they must’ve been really tired. Sungyeol walked up to the doorstep first and said, “Oh, hi you’re…” I just smiled and stood up. Myungsoo saw me and smiled. I looked down and smiled even bigger.

“Saehee-yah…” I looked up and met eyes with Woohyun. I moved out of the way so that the members could walk inside. His manager looked at me suspiciously and I asked, “Can I borrow Woohyun for a second?” He still looked at me with suspicion in his eyes. Woohyun took my arm and told him, “She’s my friend, don’t worry.”

Woohyun dragged me to the side, away from everyone. He turned around to look at me and stood there, waiting. “I… I’ve been thinking and well…” His eyes were suddenly filled with hope. I felt guilty because it wasn’t what he thought it was. “I just want to be friends.” Woohyun’s hopeful eyes were gone but he smiled. “Being friends is a lot better than being ignored, right?”

He leaned down so that his face was just inches from mine. He stared deeply into my eyes as if he was searching for an answer. Before I knew it, my hands were cupping his face as we kissed. I pulled away and noticed how his tears rubbed off on me. He whispered, “I love you. So much.”