my problem that i was having since i started understading english is that i still lack vocabulary, i dont know many words to describes what popped into my mind. p/s: stimes, i dont even know how to use my own language lol. bad citizen

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Jessica keep driving, passing one building after another while crying very bad that all of her mascara has fall down and turned the tears to be like a petrol oil that is black.

She drove with no direction. Her life has turned dark at that moment. Where will she go to after being kicked out by her only beloved one, early in the morning. well not exactly really morning. It’s 11am after all to be called morning.

Jessica was thinking of getting a drink or some alcohol to release all her pain but it’s impossible to be drunk in so early  days. Which club or pub or whatever it is starts their operation at 11am?

Thousands thought kept lingering through her mind.

Then, she stopped her car at a park where she saw some people were doing their own schedule at the park. She get off from the car, wearing her sunglasses (the one that Hyoyeon prefer her to put on whenever she’s with Jessica) and walks slowly yet lazily towards a bench and sat on the bench lazily. She wore the sunglasses because reporter might see her and took picture of her with the ‘panda’ eyes. News spread fast, so she doesn’t want people and her fans to do any conclusion about her condition.

She sat there alone, looking at the beautiful river in front of her. While remembering the incidents that happened between her and Hyoyeon this morning, she suddenly remembered something that she have to tell Hyoyeon before she left the apartment.

*flashback*

“Yuri-ah!” Jessica called her softly when Yuri was keeping herself busy with the phone.

“oh?” Yuri answered still gazing at her phone screen.

They were at Yuri’s apartment which became their usual place hanging out and sometimes date.

“let’s break up!” this time, Yuri look up and put her serious look on Jessica. Out of the blue, Jessica asked for break up with her while their relationship didn’t have any problem.

“you’re kidding right?” Yuri tried to force a smile but failed when Jessica’s expression turned the atmosphere in the living room to be cold.

“you see, I’ve never been kidding around with you right? I’m serious about this” Yuri cannot believe her ears and eyes.

“but why suddenly… if I had done something wrong to you, I sincerely apologize to you. I didn’t-” Yuri was cut off by the eager princess.

“look! Have I said ‘I love you’ sincerely to you? No right? That word never came out from my mouth whenever I’m with you. You’re the same right?”

Yuri didn’t answer instead she took her times thinking of what the latter trying to say to her. The result that she got from the thinking was, Jessica’s right! Jessica makes sense. She even forgot to express the important line to Jessica since the day they officially date.

“so what?” Yuri played it cool.

“I suddenly began to realise that our relationship is not based on love. Our relationship is all about lust. We have no deeper feelings towards each other. Honestly, I just came to you whenever I felt bored”

“but I’m not like that”

“the problem is me! I don’t love you. I just use you to kill my boredom. That’s not call love Yuri”

“Sica..” Yuri didn’t have the chance to speak.

“Yuri! I already have someone that love me sincerely, with all her might. But I’m here cheating on her with you, her own bestfriend.”

“so, you really want  to call it over between us, like that?” Yuri sounds upset.

“that’s not what I mean. Our status will just be a friend. Not more than that, ok?”

“the world is being unfair with me isn’t it? I really loves you I swear!”

“no! it’s me that being unfair to you! I cannot love you as much as I love Hyo even if I try very hard.” Jessica put one hand on Yuri’s cheek. “I’m not the one for you. I’m sure soon you will find someone better than me that can love you more than I did”

“I don’t know how do I express this to you”

“I’m sorry Yuri” she caressed Yuri’s cheek using her thumb. “please don’t tell anyone about us, even Hyoyeon!”

Jessica stood up with her handbag ready to leave Yuri’s apartment.

“no farewell kiss?” Yuri said as she grabbed Jessica’s wrist before she could walk away.

“the last kiss is even painful Yuri. If there are last kiss, we’ll not be over. Remember what I’ve told you? A kiss can lead to other serious things”

“why are you being like this?” Yuri grabbed was pried off gently by Jessica.

“goodbye Yuri! Please take care” with that, Jessica get out from the apartment leaving Yuri alone.

“take care of yourself too. I love you” Yuri muttered under her breath as Jessica disappeared from her view.

Her feelings were mixed into one at that time. Just now she sounds like she was willing to let Jessica go. But Yuri was crying inside not letting Jessica to break their relationship. She’s willing to beg for Jessica, but she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to sound so desperate for Jessica’s love.

*end of flashback*

…

After the long cry-session, Woori fall asleep on the bed with Hyoyeon staring at her with her red eyes.

“thanks for always be with me whenever I’m having a hard time, Granny! You’re my source of strength” Hyoyeon whispered to the sleeping Woori while the latter’s hair. Then, she continued to stare at the sleeping girl for a long time until she came to her sense.

“thanks dear!” Hyoyeon inched closer towards Woori’s face. Closer enough to hear the latter’s tired-breath. After that, she slowly peck her lips on the granny’s forehead and caressed her cheeks with her thumb.

With that, she jumped off from the bed and headed to downstairs leaving Woori sleeping on her bed. Hyoyeon knew that Woori was very tired because her schedule yesterday was very packed. Until the time that Woori found her in a club’s entrance looking terribly drunk. Woori took a quick action pulling the drunk girl out from the club.

That time, her manager stopped by at a digital shop near the club. Right after she saw Hyoyeon, she ran forward. Luckily, she got a licence and most importantly she knew where was Hyoyeon’s house.

Before she went to Hyoyeon’s car, Woori explain to her manager and the member about the current situation. And when she got in Hyoyeon’s house, she ended up sleeping in the bed with Hyoyeon. She still remember Hyoyeon told her to not go back alone that midnight and just go back tomorrow morning. So Woori wait for Hyoyeon to drift off to sleep before she want to go back but found herself sleeping there.

…

-Hyoyeon’s POV-

It’s been two days since that day. The day that a real big quarrel and misunderstand happened between us. Since that night and till now, I didn’t give up texting and calling her to try reaching where’s she’s at now. I’m getting really worried of whereabouts she is now. At a time, my hearts will mix together with worry, mad, upset, guilty, sadness and so on enough for making me go all dizzy and eventually I have to cancel my schedule.

It’s 2:20pm now. But I haven’t received any reply from Sica. I would have go search for her if I could but I didn’t because I’ve no idea where she is now, I’ve called her for about the hundredth of times already plus my 30 something text message .

To: Sica Hun

I’m very worried of you baby. Please call me back or text me that you’re doing fine.

 I sent another text. Since two days ago, I’ve been sending her bunch of text message that I don’t even know whether she reads it or not that reads like “I’m sorry for what I did. Please come back home. I miss u” , “ please come back, I have bunch of explanations to do” “I hope you’re safe out there. I love u” “just telling you that I really miss you honey! Where are you? I couldn’t sleep thinking obout you” “baby, please don’t be like this. Please come back home. I’m really worried now”.

Yeah, some kind of like that. Not to mention, I even spill some tears while typing all those text.

All I’m doing now is staring at the phone screen every 10 seconds. I feel like crying but I can’t spill any more tears because my feelings are still mixing to one. Too much tears had poured out from my eyes that it can’t do that anymore.

I’m really certain that she will at least reply me once. And when I’m about to go get a glass of waters I heard my phone vibrate. I’m really excited as I rushed towards the couch and felt scared at the same time upon reading what she will say to me. Maybe I was too eager that I slipped on the floor before I reached the phone.

I took the phone with excitement because I didn’t expect her to reply faster than I thought.

Then, I opened the text message.

From: Shikshin

I heard bout u n sica after found out that u didn’t go to the studio. I hope that you’re doin fine. Be strong n keep praying Hyo. Himnae kay!

I smiled upon reading the text and don’t even notice that I spill tears so suddenly. Well at least Sooyoung gave me strength even though I’m a bit disappointed that it’s not from Sica.

She’s such a warm friend that sure knows how to cheer me whenever I have problem. That’s what I’m fond of that shikshin.