Heechul drank the soju the surrounded him without stop. It seemed to numb the pain that his heart felt, that wouldn't stop.

As he stared blankly along the walls, he longed to be free, to not feel this suffocated silence.

His heart felt like it was collasping, like there would be no light in this eternal darkness as he sat quietly, drowned in the large room.

He heard some laughing and shouting outside his dorm, they had long moved on, and they never knew the torture he went through ever night as he longed to even text him again. He had donned the mask of happiness even though he was suffering, for his fellow members he had thought, but at night he collasped. He was too exhausted of the facade, the play where all faces kept watching him. Only the night brought relief. 

He knew some of the members still worried but those fears were usually dispelled as he stopped crying, the tears which only stayed in his heart, that would never escape. Secrets never to be told.

He felt the invisable tears that would never come slide silently down his face as his memory swept back.

(flash back)

"You'll be with me forever right Hankyung?" 

"Of course Chullie!"

How stupid had he been then, too innocent, too guillable, to believe Hangeng. 

"Why are you leaving?" He had wept. The 2nd to last time he had ever cried.

"I can't live this torture anymore Chu.."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT ANYMORE,"

"Not even for you," He had kissed Heechul's head one last time before he headed out in the morning light, leaving darkness behind.

(present)

- knock knock -

"Heechul? Are you okay?"

Heechul quickly swept the opened bottles of soju underneath his bed and pretended to sleep as the door creaked open.

He saw the darkness of the hallway outside creep in as Leeteuk and Donghae stepped in. 

They smiled as they saw Heechul sleeping thinking every thing was perfect.

Couldn't anybody see the pain in his heart?