Love of a Fool
Love of a Fool
One day, I was just walking around the park when I saw a girl crying who's sitting at the bench and her head turned to a guy who left her dumbly there. I was like that too, I'm always like that. Bora just sees me as her best friend. Yes, her best friend only. I'm always there for her, whenever she has problems about her family, finance, even her love life. I was always there for her. I don't even care what my Mom thinks about me.
"Wake up Hyunseong, she doesn't love you." That words of her always replaying at my mind. It hurts,I know. It's the fact anyways so I have to agree with it. I have to accept it. Bora doesn't love me more than best friends. I was hoping that there's a genie who's going to help me. I will wish that Bora would love me more than friends. I know it sounds very selfish but hey, everyone is wishing that right? And then my phone suddenly rings.
"Oppa." It's Dasom.
"Waeyo?"
"Eonnie is out of her mind again. It seems like she's in the other world. Can you come here?"
"Okay, I'm on my way already."
Maybe she still not get over with Donghyun. Yes, she had a relationship with him, and the last month, she told me that Hyung is the one who broke up with her.
"You know what it hurts Hyunseong?" she paused. "You don't know that the one you love loves someone else. And sometimes, you really don't understand what they really feel about you."
When I was on my way, someone disturbed my thoughts about her. Eunji was blocking my way, that irritating girl always following me. I wanted to push her but I don't want to disrespect girls. I respect girls but not much as I respect myself.
"Where are you going?" Eunji asked as she linked her arms to mine. I gently pulled off her arms around me.
"I'm going at Bora's. Why?"
Her smile faded, and her brows furrowed. She basically, is jealous. She likes me, but I love Bora but Bora loves Donghyun. It's a complicated love situation.
"I wanted you to date with me today." she was sarcastically asking.
"Oh."
"Why 'Oh'? Come with me already. Let's date." She grabbed my hand.
"No." I said, stopping her. "I don't want to be rough with you Eunji, but let me go. Stop being a fool. Don't stalk me. Don't follow me anymore."
She bowed down, and looked at me again with her teary eyes, "If I'm a fool, what are you?" I stepped back.
"Thank you Hyunseong. Finally, you said it. Finally. I'm a fool. I know that, but you? Can you say that you're being a fool, being an idiot, damn stupid guy who's crazy over with Bora? You're the foolest! Damn it."
"I'm sorry Eunji, I'm just.. I'm just annoyed that you always forced me to do something which I can't. Because I don't want to."
"You're annoyed with me.." she said bitterly. "Think of yourself too, it's been a year. Still, you're like a dog. You're always following her. Does something change? It's just nothing right? Nothing changed because she still loves your bandmate. She still loves Donghyun. Not you."
It hurts. Really. I know that I'm a fool but I was hoping for her to love me back and I didn't realize that we're just going to be like best friends. Just best friends. Nothing more. And I feel sorry for Eunji, but for myself? I don't know. I don't ever know. I feel down, so down.
"Finally, you're here. She's at her room." Dasom was the one who opened the door.
I came in, and Bora was sitting at the desk looking by her window. She didn't even take a look when I came in. I guess her mind is really blank out in space like what Dasom told me.
"Hey. Do you have a problem?" I poke her shoulder.
"Nothing." She still not looking at me, and then suddenly, she looked at me surprisingly. "Oh, hey Hyunseong, I thought you're just someone else in here. I'm sorry."
Ouch. Just someone? She can recognize my voice in anyway.
"What are you doing here anyway?"
I snapped out, "Dasom called me and told me that you're out of your mind already."
"That girl.." She made a face, and I don't know. The pain that I was feeling was gone in some way.
"Wait." She told me and was going to go out but..
"Bora.." She stopped and looked at me, "Reserve your words later Hyunseong, I have to get something."
"No." I really have to say what I really feel for her. "Just wait o-" I grabbed her, and saw that she's a bit scared of me.
"I'm sorry.. I.. I just have to tell you something." I let go of her hand. "O-okay.."
"Do you still love Donghyun?" I was feeling nervous.
"Why d-did you ask?"
"Answer me first.. N-noona.." I'm a bit down, and called her a noona for the first time again.
"I.. I don't.."
"Okay." I sat down, and I think I'm not ready yet. I'm scared, I'm scared of being rejected over and over again.
"Hy-Hyunseong.." She sat next to me. "I'm sorry.. For being not honest with you.." I looked on her. I don't understand her now.
"It's okay. I'm not forcing you to be honest with me, B-bora.. You can keep it as a secret if it's for good. I understand."
"No, I should confess that I love you ever since."
My heart froze. Is this really true? She? Loves me?
"W-what? A-are you in s-" I was trying something for her to say it's just a joke but she cut me off when she kissed me. she shut me off with her kiss. "I love you Hyunseong since you've been my best friend. I had loved you."
Is this a dream? If this is a dream, I'm not going to wake up anymore. I am not going to wake up anymore, I promise that.
"Hyunseong.. Hyunseong.." someone's calling me and then slapped me hard. "Ya! What's with your lips puckering up huh?" Bora was here, laughing madly at me.
"I could say that you dream of someone and you're kissing her." I blushed.
I wish I was just dreaming then, it's the best dream I ever had. Aish, life's really hard.
"Hyunseong you okay?" Eunji walked closer to me, I remember we're at the beach today and everyone's invited. Just the Starship and Cube Entertainment.
"I'm okay.. Don't worry.." I said and saw Bora was walking away from me and linking her arms around Donghyun hyung. They're together again and I feel sad again. Lonelier than my dream.
"Don't worry Hyunseong, I'll do my best!" Eunji suddenly blurted out at me.
"Do your best? For what?"
"I promise that I'll do my best to capture your heart!" She said, and was giggling softly. "Let's go play with them!" she offered.
"O-okay.."
I'm a fool. Dream isn't really everything. Dream is like a star that you couldn't reach even you want to. I love someone, and she loves someone else. Well this is me. I'm a fool. I can't just love her.. I'll try to move on, and try my best to love other than her. Maybe, I just think.. I can love a fan right? I can love a Bestfriend right? Even if it's a NOONA BESTFRIEND, it's alright with me. I can take care of it. I can love someone's better than her, I should just forget about what I really feel about her. I can do that. I knew I can.
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