You casually sipped your drink as you scanned the area searching for the pair of eyes that were burning through your soul. You were there for only twenty minutes but someone had a close eye on you, you just couldn’t find the culprit. Putting down the glass, you smiled as you saw your friend come through the entrance.

“Finally, I was just starting to feel a bit weird,” you greeted her.

She laughed, signaling to the bartender her choice of drink, “Naah, you just need a few more drinks and you’ll be good to go.” You couldn’t help but scoff. This club, drinking scene just wasn’t your thing but you had been having such a difficult few weeks, you just wanted to try something new. You needed to get out and get your mind off of him. The hurt that had gathered in your heart was just too much for you to bear so you decided to spend your nights out with your friends rather than sit at home like a lost puppy. You watched in amazement as your friend downed her second tequila shot, one after the other.

“I came here walking hun, take it easy, I have no car to drive you home!” Your friend laughed and slid a shot glass your way, “you haven’t seen anything yet.” She knocked her glass to yours and rocked her head back, swallowing the alcohol in one go, “well then, drink it!”

You hesitantly picked up the glass and put it to your lips, quickly letting it flow into your mouth. You were an occasional drinker but only when it came to mixed drinks, you didn’t go anywhere near the heavy stuff. Your friend laughed as she saw the pained expression flash across your face, “That’s my girl!”

“How do you even drink these things?” you asked smacking your lips together, trying to rid them of the heat that formed.

“Babe, I’ve been through much worse things,” she said, slapping your shoulder, “c’mon let’s dance.” She grabbed you by your hands and pulled you to the dance floor. You stood there awkwardly as you watched her sway her hips to the beat of the music.

“Come on, loosen up!” she shouted, taking you by the hands, nudging you to at least bop to the music.

“I can’t do this, this isn’t me!” Your friend laughed and twirled you around.

“Just relax hun, we need to get you some more drinks!”

She pulled you across to the bar, ordering another round of tequila.

“To you!” she hailed, putting the glass into the air before knocking it back. You followed suit but in an obvious amateur way.

“I hate you!” was all you could manage.

“I love you too!” she laughed. She pulled you back into the middle of the dance floor as she acknowledged her friends who turned up.

“Yah, Kwonnie, take care of her, will you!” she shouted above the music at the random boy. He walked over to you with a big smile painted onto his face.

“Hey, I’m Kwon!” he said, gently resting his hands on your waist. You felt a bit uncomfortable but you didn’t move his hands. He moved your body to the motion of the music to match his.

“Are you okay?” he suddenly asked, snapping you out of your own little world. You looked at him for a second too long.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I have to go.” With that, you darted straight towards the exit, into the cool night breeze. Your head was pounding and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You stopped a taxi and quickly arrived at your apartment within minutes. You stumbled into your room, kicking off your shoes and dove onto your bed. You wiggled to your side, and slightly ped your dress to give you some room to breathe.

“Why do I do these things to myself?” you shouted at yourself as the throbbing pain in your head increased. Massaging your temples, you tried to steady your breathing. In, out, in, out, in, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK, ouuuut. You groaned as the person at your door continued with the incessant knocking now.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you shouted, dragging yourself to the door. You tugged at the hem of your dress, pulling it down slightly, forgetting you had ped it a bit.

“You’re gonna punch a hole through my door with that knocking!” you slurred as you opened the door. The person standing on the other side took one look at you and their facial expression doubled in fear.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Where is he?” he asked, holding onto your face as he checked your body.

You looked on, too shocked to even answer.

GiKwang. What was he doing here? What was he talking about?

“YAH, _____-AH ANSWER ME!” he urged. You snapped back to reality and slapped away his grip on you. You narrowed your eyes and looked at him.

“I’m okay, what the hell are you doing here?” Your head momentarily stopped its throbbing and you weren’t sure where you gained all this energy but you were going with the flow.

“I saw you at the club and then, you just stormed off, did that guy hurt you?” he asked, a genuine worried look overcoming his face. So he was the person watching you from the beginning. It all made sense now.

“What do you even care?” you retorted, your voice bitter than ever. You folded your arms and stood straight. You didn’t want him to see the pain that still overwhelmed you. You didn’t want him to see what he had done to you. You didn’t want him to see you at your lowest point.

“I know I’m the last person you want at your doorstep right now, but I was just worried, can’t you just answer my question?” he said, sounding a little aggressive now. What was his place acting this way.

“And as I said, what do you care?” you made a turn to shut the door in his face but he was quick to put his foot in the way.

“I have no time for your games GiKwang,” you said.

“____, just hear me out for a second,” he begged.

“I have no time.” Your reply was cold and you could see the hurt in his eyes. It served him right, after the way he treated you. Nothing you could do now could reciprocate that pain for him.

“Goodnight.” You shoved his foot out of the way and closed the door behind you. Instantly, you ran to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet. Two tequila shots too much. You could feel the entire contents of your stomach reach your throat as it spewed out of your mouth. You coughed and sputtered as you tasted the bitterness at the back of your throat making you go in for another round. You tried to move your hair out of your face only to feel a pair of hands holding it away, gently rubbing your back. As you made a move to turn around and see the person, a wave of nausea swept across again.

“Try to breathe,” said a familiar voice. GiKwang once again. You stood up and made your way to the sink, thoroughly brushing the taste out of your mouth.

“You can leave now,” you said, grabbing a towel from the cabinet.

“Let’s talk, just for 2 minutes!” GiKwang pleaded. Your blood boiled.

“What could you possibly have to say to me GiKwang?” you asked as your eyes filled with tears, “have you not messed me up enough already? Have you not hurt me enough? My heart cannot handle the heartbreak anymore GiKwang, I can’t even bear to hear your voice right now because every time you speak, my heart just drops a little lower in my chest.”

He looked at you, the tears visible in his eyes.

You choked back the sobs as you tried to be strong, “Now that you see I’m still hurting over you, will you please leave.” You turned your back to him, not being able to look at him for a second more.

“I-I’m sorry,” he whispered into your ear as he hugged you from behind. , this was the last thing you needed.

“I, am, sorry!” You could feel his entire body shake as he let out his cries. You bit your lips and closed your eyes tightly, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling to just turn around and hold him in your arms.

“I just want to know why?” The words escaped from your lips as you stood there.

GiKwang wiped away the tears and turned you around to face him. You couldn’t look him in the eyes but he made you. He tilted your face upwards with his finger under your chin.

“These few weeks have been the worst days of my life and do you know what made that difference?” he asked. You blankly looked at him.

“You.” He looked at you, his gaze piercing your soul, “I was just loving with my eyes. Do you know why? Because, I was infatuated. I couldn’t love with my heart? Do you know why…?” He trailed off and took a step towards you.

“Because all along, you had my heart. I was already loving you with all my heart.” He looked down and took a deep breath.

“It hurts me so much to know that I was the one that caused you so much pain and I’m willing to make it up to you, I just need you to give me a second chance.” You cautiously looked at him as he spoke.

“I can feel it in my heart ____-ah, we belong together, I have cried every night we have been apart, I have even thought of ways to punish myself,” he said, his voice dropping low. He pulled up the sleeves of his shirt and the legs of his pants to show darkly coloured bruises. You grabbed his wrists and touched the wounds on his arm. He hissed in pain but didn’t pull away.

“I know, I know,” he whispered, “I’m the worst person in your world right now but please let me fix that.” GiKwang put his hand to your face and allowed his thumb to make small circles on your cheek.

“I really love you and I hate myself for hurting you to even realise that.” He closed his eyes and brought his forehead to yours. You didn’t pull away, you didn’t fight him off. You just stood there, taking it all in.

“I have to look for the courage to even forgive you GiKwang, I’m not sure where I’m going to find it but….”you trailed off, pulling away from him, “I’m willing to let you try again.”

He nodded his head as another wave of emotion washed over him. The tears just flowed freely as he pulled you into a tight embrace.

“I’m not saying we’re one hundred percent okay again, but my life has been the most depressing thing since and I’ve known, since day one, that you were THE ONE for me.” You looked at him, wiping away the tears that trailed down his cheek. He interlaced his fingers with yours in turn and led the way to your bed.

You slipped out of your dress and laid down, “Stupid dress.” You felt the bed dip under GiKwang’s weight as he wiggled his way closer to you. You both laid there, side by side, hand in hand.

“You looked absolutely gorgeous tonight by the way, but that’s a usual thing,” he said behind a smile. You rolled your eyes, as you cuddled into the blanket, just enjoying the feeling you had once lost. Everything was not A-okay but you were sure things were going to work out.