You looked across the room at him as he shrugged his coat on and grabbed his keys from the counter top.

“Don’t wait up for me,” he announced closing the door behind him. Strike one. You sighed and returned to the book you were all but reading. You mind was running wild. Why was he suddenly acting this way? Where was he off to? It was just like one day he woke up and at that very second he fell out of love with you. There was no physical contact, no conversations; you hadn’t even had a meal together for the past few weeks. The only activity taking place was that you were both growing apart. Your heart ached as you thought back to the past few weeks. You and GiKwang met when you were both 17 and you literally did everything together. You supported him through thick and thin in his pre-debut and debut days. He was always there for you, you were always there for him, except it was all changing now. You sighed, closing your book and headed to bed.

You awoke the next morning to a sleeping Gikwang on the couch. Your heart fell heavy at the sight as you held back the tears that threatened to follow. As everyday went by, it was all becoming too much to bare. You tied your hair into a loose bun and proceeded to the kitchen to brew your morning coffee. Within that space of time, KiKwang had awoken and washed up. Like every morning, your poured him a cup of coffee and set it out for him. He appeared from the bedroom, coat already on and his backpack over his shoulder. He picked up his wallet and continued to the front door. Now this?

“Jagi-,” you stopped, “Kikwang-ah, won’t you have your coffee?”

He didn’t even turn around, he didn’t even stop, “No, I’ll get some on my way to the studio.”

“But-,” again you stopped yourself. It was Sunday; every Sunday was his day-off. Maybe today was different. No? He was lying. Maybe. Strike two. You emptied the cup of coffee in the sink and left it there.

You looked around the apartment and decided that you needed to do some cleaning. When you were in this mood, you couldn’t help but clean. You dusted the shelves, repacked the books, swept the floor, emptied the refrigerator, scrubbed the bathroom and cleaned the windows. Anything that came to mind, you didn’t hesitate to do. Sitting by yourself and thinking was the last thing you wanted to happen. As you sat on the floor, repacking the DVD’s in alphabetical order, you hear the door handle shake and in came Gikwang. You looked up at him but he didn’t look back at you. As soon as he walked through the door, his entire aura changed.

“How was your day?” you asked, trying to break the silence. There was no answer as he continued straight to the bedroom. Strike two and a half. You shut your eyes and swallowed the anger that was beginning to build up now. How long was he going to treat you like this? You massaged your temples before getting up and made your way to the kitchen to prepare dinner. After all he was putting you through, for no reason whatsoever, you were still treating him kindly. The least he could’ve done was just tell you the reason.

You prepared dinner and set out the table, placing the bowls down before making your way to the bedroom to call Gikwang. Before walking in, you perched your ears in the slightly opened door and listened in to figure out if he was awake or not. You listened for a few seconds before hearing a soft laugh come from the corner of the room. It was the first laugh you heard from him for the past two weeks. Again you felt you felt a stinging pain in your chest. It was becoming more and more physical.

“I’ll come over tomorrow,” you heard him say and then there was another giggle, “no, don’t worry, I want to take you out, we’ll have dinner together.”

And that was all you needed to hear, everything else became a blur. You tried to swallow in vain as a hard lump formed in your throat. Your eyes stung as the tears all came rushing at once.

“Well I’ve got to go, she made me dinner…” You quickly got up and bolted to the front door, not wanting GiKwang to see you crying or in this state. You were angry, you were pissed, you wanted to slap him, you wanted to slap her. Wrenching the front door open, you dashed out and slammed the door behind you not even looking back. You did what your mind told you do and that was to run. You ran, you ran as far away as you could. Ending up in the park, you sat on the bench and just cried like nobody’s business. You held your face in your hands and sobbed into them. He was the love of your life, he was your everything. How could he do this to you? A mix of emotions overwhelmed you. You were sad, you were angry but most of all, you felt hurt and betrayed. The tears were coming faster now as you thought about him with this other woman. The nerve he had.

You sat on the park bench until you became completely numb. You had cried till there were no tears left, you had bit your lips till they were bleeding, you had rubbed your hands together till they were sore and most of all, you had thought about everything till there was nothing to think about. You slowly rose from the bench and robotically made your way home. You felt like there was nothing worth living for again. You had lived everyday just to see Gikwang and your relationship be as exciting as the first day you met but now, there was nothing.

Your eyes were fixated on the ground as you fiddled the door open.

“Yah, where have you been?” Gikwang bombarded you. You didn’t even have it in you to reply or look at him.

“Yah, I’m speaking to you.” You shot him a look.

“So, now you care?” you said, your words laced with venom. GiKwang looked taken aback. You looked at him, your eyes peering into his. For a single second you just wished he would open his arms and pull you in for a hug but then you remembered the conversation you over heard and you became heated again.

“What is your problem?” GiKwang asked taking a step forward to you. My problem? MY PROBLEM? You wanted to shout at him as you broke every single glass in the apartment but you didn’t even bother to answer him. You rushed into the bedroom and grabbed your suitcase, flinging all of your belongings into it.

“What are you doing?” GiKwang asked as he came up behind you.

“I’m leaving,” you replied slamming down your last shirt and zipping the case shut, “I know I’m not wanted here anymore.” GiKwang grabbed your wrist as you tried to make your way out. You stopped, trying to get your hand free of his grip. Why was he even acting like he wanted you to stay.

“Let go of me,” you said stoically.

“Why are you suddenly doing this?”

Why the hell was he doing this? Did he think you were born yesterday? You couldn’t bare this; you just needed to leave everything behind.

“I know I’m not wanted here anymore GiKwang,” you said, your voice dropping very low. You couldn’t look at him as you felt his grip loosen and his hand fell to his side.

“I know everything, I just wished, it could’ve ended differently.” You picked up your suitcase again and started to exit the room. You didn’t wait to hear anything or rather you didn’t expect a reply but you were surprised.

“I’m sorry,” you barely heard, “hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.” You were sure the words were meant to make you feel better but the only thing that built up from it was rage.

“Is that so? Seems like you made it top of your to do list though,” you said, turning to face him now, “I loved you with every fibre of my being and you do this to me.”

“I don’t know how we ended up this way,” he said, “we just fell out of love.” You were completely appalled. Now you were sure that the feeling inside of you was hate.

“We didn’t end up any way, we didn’t just fall out of love GiKwang,” you shouted, “you made us this way.” You pointed to him as the tears ran down your face, “Just remember, you made us this way.”

You turned around and without looking back, you walked out of the apartment and out of GiKwang’s life forever.