~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dragging a heavy luggage you made your way to the waiting area.

Your plane will leave in an hour. With a sigh you sat down looking at the sun rise, it looked so beautiful, it was picture perfect, people would always believe witnessing the sun rise in time of problems would mean a new joyful chapter to add in your story of life but why would it feel like it was the opposite for you?

Questions were clouding up your mind.

Are you doing the right thing?

Leaving him is the answer to both of your problems?

Are you gonna be happy with the result of your decision?

Will you regret it?

At the last question the tears you have been holding back since turning your back from Yixing came pouring down. It was like a waterfall, continuously streaming, without a sound it kept coming out.  It hurts so much, you thought.  You were silently crying in your seat people that passed by you gave a look but you could careless, your surroundings felt like a hazy dream to you. Feeling of despair and loneliness washing over you.

You didn’t want this.

You wanted to be with him. But how when everyone is against your relationship? It was hard for you enduring four years of your family criticizing him; Yixing was a trainee in SME. Your parents didn’t think that profession would keep their only daughter in life of luxury you lived in. You could care less about what lifestyle as long as you were with him.  What you didn’t like was your parents threatening you that Yixing will never debut if you didn’t obey their order.

For you to leave him and to study in Paris.

At first you thought they would not be serious about it but then you saw the signs. Yixing saying that there was a possibility for him not to debut as he received a notice. You kept silent about it. You knew your parents were behind it.

You didn’t want to be selfish; love was not selfish.

If it was the only way to make your parents stop their plan you submit to it as long as Yixing will achieve his dreams. You saw all his hard work, those late night practice, the times where his voice would become hoarse because of the vocal training and when the two of you are in a date he would tell you stories of how it was tiring and limb aching but you could see the spark in his eyes when he talked about how that was only an obstacle to surpass for him to achieve his dreams of being an idol.

That was when you decided you wanted to be one of his inspirations not the destruction of his dreams.

You’re P.O.V

Crying here for like 10 minutes is really making me dizzy, so I stood up dragging my heavy luggage with me.

I was walking mindlessly to the departure area.  Clutching at my ticket and passport was like hanging by a thread.

I only left him a letter on his night stand.  That letter was the confession of my actions this past week. 

I was smiling bitterly at what I wrote.

Dear Yixing Gege,

                         Gege I have to go. I’m sorry, for leaving you like with. I can only do this saying goodbye to you face to face is so hard for me to endure. I’m only break down and cry in front of you, I don’t want to be weak anymore; you’ve always done your part to save our relationship this time I want to save you. Oppa. Look I’m even saying the word you always wanted me to call you but I said your Chinese and if we were going to be married and live in China I need to call you gege. Oppa mianhae.  Please don’t hate me, this is the only way for you to reach your dreams in goal in life, I would just be a distraction.

                          I think that you’ve guessed why I always held your hand and clutch the tightly. Why I always wanted you to be with me every minute. Why I wanted to drown myself in your presence. I’m leaving for the sake of both of our happiness. You’ll be an idol and I’ll be what I’ll become. I wish I can be there with you when you achieve them but I guess I was not the right one.

                           Thank you for the times you didn’t let go when my parents wanted you to give up on me. I was so lucky to have you in my life, I was lucky enough to be a part of yours.  I’m so thankful God let me experience loving someone like you.  I may not be the best girlfriend and the girlfriend you dreamed about but I’ve loved you like you were my life no you are my life.

                                I know you can reach your dreams. The girl you will love will be is the luckiest girl in the world. She has you.  You were one in a million oppa. I guess I was not the lucky one to have you.

                              I’m leaving right now when you read this. I’ll be on my way to Paris. I’ll be there for a long time, I’ll probably won’t return to Korea. Believe me when I say this is the hardest thing for me to do. Believe me when I say I did and still love you. Remember what I always told you? I hate saying goodbye because for me saying goodbye means forgetting the person who ones love you. Did you know leaving you is ruining my world? But I have to do this. I love you Zhang Yixing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                                                                                             Lee Dasom

Why does it feel like the luggage keeps getting heavier? It was not getting heavier it was my heart. It was cracking into pieces. It was calling out for Yixing.

A part of you were hoping he would come out of nowhere and beg you to stay.

A part of you were hoping he would at least show up saying that he loved you.

A part of you was praying to God that he’ll come and ask you to stay.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips.

So much for being stronger. You Thought. You were being weak again, depending on him became a habit of yours since you lived your whole life alone.

~oOo~

Flight CDG 95711 in 20 minutes.

It was your plane.

You were leaving Korea. 

The place where you have found love and have been loved but they say good things don’t last forever. This was the reality you have to face. 

You were now infront of the employee checking your passport.

Flashbacks of your four years relationship with Yixing went clouding up your mind. 

A sigh escaped your chap lips.

Moist tears suddenly running down your cheek.

With a rough wipe of your sleeves you stood up.

Heels cliking in the tiles of the pathway .

With heavy feeling in your heart you dragged your suitcase to the entrance of the boarding gates.

Looking back reminiscing of the past, a heavy feeling in your chest.

He didn’t even come to say goodbye.

You thought as a tear run down your face.

With that the gates closed.

~oOo~

What you didn’t know was a guy wearing grey V-neck shirt and black pants was running around the airport looking at every direction. Looking for the face he loved.

Flight CDG 95711 has now left.

Was all he heard.

His world came crushing down at those words.

He didn’t care if people where looking at him. He was too hurt to care.

The love of his life left.

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This is not done yet! Still have one more chapter!!!

@ehminnie_18

@JanicePokez

@luxotique

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@Onceinalifetime

THANK YOU ALL FOR SUBSCRIBING!!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!! HOPE I DIDN'T DISAPPOINT YOU!!

OK THE LEE DASOM I"VE USED IS THE ULZZANG. I DIDN"T EVEN KNOW SISTAR HAS ONE ! LOL SORRY FOR SISTAR FANS!!!