“Won’t you do it for me?”

“No! Are you crazy?! The mere thought of it is sick and erted! I can’t believe you would ask me to do that. I know my moral compass doesn’t always point due north, but even I think your idea is plain disgusting.”

“Please…I’m begging you.”

“The physical presence of the word ‘please’ doesn’t make any difference. I’m not doing it!”

“This would be the last wish I would be asking you…”

A slight tap on my shoulder broke me out of my reverie. I turned around to see an old woman handing out a bunch of pink carnations and I smiled. I reached for my wallet and said, “Thanks for getting these for me, Mrs. Kim. I’m sure Dara would like it.”

Mrs. Kim chuckled. “Well, she should. You have pre-ordered those flowers which are rare this time of the year…perfect for a proposal.” She looked at me with her eyes narrowed and asked, “You are going to propose, right?”

I blushed slightly at her candid question. Her husband, who co-owns the local flower shop, came out of the back room and placed an arm around her shoulder. I grinned a little bit when Mr. Kim said, “Aigoo! Why do you always pressure these kids on marrying?”

“They’ve been dating for seven years,” Mrs. Kim said matter-of-factly. She cocked her head on my direction and said, “Don’t you think it’s time? I think it’s time.”

My quivering hand reached for the flowers and gave some paper bills to which the couple refused. “Just promise us that we’ll be hearing wedding bells soon,” Mr. Kim said with a twinkle in his eye. I thanked them both and went out of the store. I peered through the glass and saw how picturesque the Kim’s married life was. I silently wondered if Dara and I would reach that age, spending forever together.

I let out a sad smile and thought, If I could, I would have proposed already.

But I can’t.

Not with the secret I’ve been hiding.

I turned around the bend and walked for a couple more blocks before I reached my destination. Situated on the corner was a quaint little bakeshop, the Little Star. The outside red-brick wall was crawling with ia creeper, but it only made the exterior look extremely antiquated. The chimes placed behind the door made its familiar sound as I entered the shop and the smell of freshly-baked goodies greeted my nostrils.

The place was packed like every morning, catering to the needs of its regular customers. I made my way to my usual spot and sat comfortably on one of the chairs. I let my eyes wander, observing the other patrons, and moments later, I started to daydream.

“Love is just for fools.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Sure it is. You just end up hurting the other person or yourself.”

“If that would be the case, then it means you haven’t met the right person.”

“Right...and who will that be?”

“The usual?”

My trail of thought was interrupted by a soft, angelic voice and I looked up to see who it was. It was a young woman whose features exuded grace and elegance. Her copper brown hair was loosely braided behind her back, letting the shorter fringes of her hair form into side-swept bangs which framed her beautiful face. She was wearing a pink apron on top of her magnolia white sundress and it hugged her figure perfectly, making her feminine and at the same time, adorable. The smile she gave was bright and engaging and I can’t help but smile at her, too.

“Yes, please.”

She grinned, scribbled my order on the pad she was holding and headed behind the counter. My eyes followed her every movement until she came back and placed a plate of chocolate croissants and blueberry muffins on the table. She went back to get my cup of latte and set it beside the bread. I thanked her and expected her to leave but instead, I caught her staring longingly at the bundle of carnations on top of the table.

“Those flowers are pretty,” she commented.

“Those are for my girlfriend.”

She raised an eyebrow and grimaced. “Bummer. You’re taken?”

“Yup, and she won’t like it if she learns you’re flirting with me,” I said with a nod.

“Is she pretty?” she asked, her face excited.

I shook my head and I received a frown in exchange. I chuckled and whispered, “Saying she’s pretty is an understatement…because for me, she’s a goddess.” I stood up and kissed her on the lips. I heard a few sighs on the background and we broke the kiss, blushing beet red.

“Naughty,” she said as she pinched my left cheek. “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary,” I greeted back.

She flashed me a brilliant smile and said, “Oppa, wait for me, okay? I’ll just go upstairs and change.” She left after I gave her a nod.

Yes, the girl who just left is my girlfriend, Dara Park. She’s the owner and the manager of Little Star. It was in this same place I first caught a glimpse of her, and like a er, I instantly fell for her. I, the guy who doesn’t believe in love, fell at first sight.

I can’t believe it’s been years already since I first saw her.

She’s still as gorgeous as ever.

I had already finished my second croissant when Dara came back. She got rid of her apron and took a matching sunhat. I wondered what took her so long. I resolved that it must be a girls’ thing. I stood up and we left the shop together.

We spent the rest of the morning and the first half of the afternoon on an amusement park. Dara and I had a fun time trying all the rides, eating ice cream and cotton candies, shooting stuff toys as target, and taking pictures. When she left to buy some soda and hotdogs, I sat on an empty bench, staring on the pictures we took.

“What are you looking at?” Dara asked when she came back and caught me poring over the photos.

I grinned and said, “I’m looking at my face.”

“Why?”

A sigh escaped my lips and I turned to her. How could I possibly make her understand how I’m feeling without lying? How could I explain the truth without it hurting her or making her cry?

How?

“Oppa?” Her face look worried and I smiled to ease her anxiety.

“It’s nothing…I’m just looking,” I reassured her and her sunny disposition returned. “Where should we go next?”

Dara puckered her lips as she tried to think of a place and when she decided, she exclaimed, “To the beach!”

I smiled at her because I already knew what she meant by the beach. My family has a house along the coastline and although we have been going out for years, I only brought her there once or twice. She always bugged me to bring her there but I always refused…for the simple reason that I don’t want her there or myself for that matter.

Because every moment I spend there, I get reminded of a lie…

…a lie that has become a skeleton in my closet.

Unwillingly, I finally gave in to her wish. We arrived at the beach house half an hour later and the unseen ghosts started to hover above me, nagging my conscience. When we went inside and I saw her pictures and mine, I felt every bit of me being crushed by remorse and shame.

Unable to take anymore, I convinced her to have a walk with me on the beach and I was elated when she agreed. Every unpleasant feeling I had earlier went away when we reached the shore, because I could finally see Dara having fun.

Whenever she smiles, my heart gives a leap. But guilt plagues my heart every time she does for I know that her smiles are not for me.

I’m not the person she thinks I am.

I’m not worthy of her love. I’m an impostor, a fraud, a phony, a cheat.

And that’s the reason I can never propose to her, no matter how much I love her.

It was almost sunset when we had our rest. I was sitting on a long wooden bench that has been converted to a swing while Dara’s head rested on my lap. I was fiddling with her hair while we let our faces bask on the sun’s final rays. It colored the sky and the sea with a spectacular yellow and orange blaze and our face reflected the same shade.

“Oppa…” Dara mumbled and her eyes closed dreamily. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Why do you always look at your face in pictures?” Her eyes opened and it searched my face for an answer.

My sense of right and wrong fought with itself and I was tongue-tied after I heard her query. After a long pause, I answered, “Because when I do, I get to see who I am and who I have become.”

Silence enveloped us and she closed her eyes again. What I said to her was the truth. The lies I have been keeping all these years have made me forget who I really was.

And with that simple realization, I decided to tell Dara the truth, so that I could free her and my heart.

“Jagiya…” I started.

“Hm?” she sleepily muttered.

“I love you.” My voice rang with truth.

“I love you, too.”

I smiled as I heard those words come out of her lips. “Really?”

“Yes.”

I drew a deep breath and said, “Then I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen real hard, because I’ve got a story to tell…” I touched her face with my hand and she lovingly held it with hers.

“It was a story of a boy and a girl, who first saw each other on a little shop named Little Star. They both fell in love with each other and every moment they spent with each other only made them closer.” I looked at her face and saw her lips curve into a sleepy smile. My eyes started to tear and a lump on my throat made it hard for me to speak but I knew I had to go on.

“Six months from the day they met, the girl had to leave for a short vacation. The boy promised to wait and see her on the shop once she comes back.” I looked at Dara’s face again and saw that she was sleeping already. Tears were dangerously threatening to fall from my eyes as I continued to narrate.

“A week before the girl’s arrival, the boy got into an accident and he was dying. So he called his twin brother and asked a favor from him. His brother…they looked similarly the same. Same features, same face, same built. But despite them being twins, they never got along. They had different philosophies in life but still he called.”

“Hyung…can’t you pretend that you are me? Just like when we were kids? Won’t you do it for me?” His voice was weak and it made me real sad that I’ll be losing my brother, even if we weren’t that close.

“No! Are you crazy?! The mere thought of it is sick and erted! I can’t believe you would ask me to do that. I know my moral compass doesn’t always point due north, but even I think your idea is plain disgusting.”

“Please…I’m begging you.”

“The physical presence of the word ‘please’ doesn’t make any difference. I’m not doing it!” This time I screamed, hoping it would drive some sense into him.

“This would be the last wish I would be asking you. I just can’t bear the thought of leaving her alone. I love her so much.”

I let out a derisive snort. “Love is just for fools.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Sure it is. You just end up hurting the other person or yourself.”

“If that would be the case, then it means you haven’t met the right person.”

“Right...and who will that be?” My voice was dripping with sarcasm.

He let out a tired smile and said, “You may never know. It could be her. If I had to leave her with someone, it would be you. Because I know you’ll take good care of her, like I do.”

I looked at my brother and for the first time in a long time, I cried.

“His twin promised to do what was asked of him and the boy died, without the girl knowing. The twin met with the girl the day she said she would come back. But the moment he saw her, he was instantly captivated by her, and he was hooked. He realized that his dongsaeng was right—she was the right person he’d fall in love to.”

“Several times, the twin tried to tell the girl the truth but it scared him. But he always knew that it wasn’t him she truly loved but his brother. And now, he’s telling her so he could free her from the lies that bound them together.” My tears fell freely and stained my cheeks.

I don’t know if it was my tears that woke Dara up or she was just pretending to sleep all that time but she sat upright after I finished with my story. She was crying too and only her hands that were clapped to kept her from making sobbing sounds.

“I’m sorry, Dara-yah,” I apologized. I met her eyes and it showed shock and disbelief. “I’m not Donghee. I’m his twin brother, Donghae, Lee Donghae. Donghee’s been dead all these years. I’m sorry we lied to you, but my brother loved you so much he didn’t want you to come home and find out that he didn’t keep his promise.”

“Please don’t get angry at him. Blame me all you want. I’m just sorry to have lied to you all these years. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you the truth. You may not believe me now, but when I told you I love you, I truly meant it.”

I closed my eyes and waited for her fists to pound my chest or her hand slap my face. I would gladly take any beating from her. If she would like me to go to hell, I would go.

What she did next was the last thing I expected. She hugged me tight, her arms going around my body, her wet cheek touching mine.

She was obviously confused.

I tried to pry her off of me, but her hug only got tighter. If her actions confused me, the words she uttered made me quite speechless.

“Oppa…listen to me, because like you, I have a story to tell…”