Junhyung walked behind Yoseob, looking at the footprints left by the boy as they walked on the sand. It was finally their day off and they had decided to spend it on the beach. Junhyung stepped carefully onto the sand so as not to destroy the footprints Yoseob left behind.

He was having fun when a voice spoilt it all.

“What are you doing walking so slowly!?” Doojoon asked as he stomped towards Junhyung, destroying whatever Junhyung tried to keep.

Junhyung looked up at him, annoyed.

“I don’t want to play. You guys go ahead.” He said as he walked in another direction, plopping himself onto the soft sand, letting the sun warm his skin.

Ever since that day, Junhyung found himself always walking behind Yoseob instead of beside him. At first, it was because he did not have the guts to walk beside that boy anymore. It still hurt him both mentally and physically knowing that his love would never be requited.

But slowly, he found a liking for staring at Yoseob’s back. He would smile whenever that boy jumps around, fooling around with the other members of Beast. His legs would automatically send him flying forward whenever he sees the boy trip over something.

Being behind instead of beside, Junhyung learned and saw many things he never knew about Yoseob.

He realized that Yoseob’s arms were too short to reach the top of his back whenever he wanted to scratch himself. Whenever Yoseob cried, Junhyung would watch his back slump forward, shaking slightly as he cried into his palms. When Yoseob slept, his shoulders would rise and fall slowly like how his chest would. When he laughed, his whole body would shake as he laughed heartily. Junhyung would watch from behind as Yoseob danced gracefully. When Yoseob sang, while everyone else stood in front to observe Yoseob’s expression, Junhyung stayed behind, watching his every movement as if he could see through Yoseob. When it rains, Junhyung would be the first one to throw his jacket to cover the boy from behind.

Even now, when everyone was having fun, he chose to just sit behind, watching them play, or rather, watching him play.

Although he know Yoseob was someone he could not have as ‘his’, he could not help but wonder what if Yoseob actually meant that he love him the way Junhyung loved him?

“It’s alright.” Junhyung consoled himself, patting himself on his left shoulder.

“You’re happy that he is happy, aren’t you?” He said to himself.

“Actually not really~ Ha~” He mumbled.

He always have such conversation with himself. It was the only way to keep him from drowning into the sea of sadness. It was the only way he could remind himself that it was okay, just looking from behind is okay too.

“Well, at least you still have his back to look at.” He mumbled.

He lost himself as he stared at Yoseob play.

“WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT!? ARE THERE SOME BIKINI GIRLS THERE OR WHAT!?” The voice he love so much suddenly boomed in his ear.

‘I was staring at you.’

“Crazy~ Hahaha~ What are you doing here? Aren’t you playing?” He asked Yoseob.

“I came to get you!” The younger boy tugged onto his arm.

“I don’t want to play.” Junhyung said.

“I insist! If you sit here without moving, you’ll start to grow roots and then you’ll get tied to the sand! We wouldn’t be able to get you out and you’ll be out here in the open FOREVER!!” Yoseob shouted.

Junhyung laughed as he gave in. He stood up, letting the boy pull him along as he watch Yoseob pull him with all his might from behind.

Yoseob ah, I wish I could tell you how much I love you. It hurts, but it’s okay. I’ll always be behind you, to catch you when you fall, to hug you when you cry, to pat your back when you did well, to massage you when you’re tired and to give you a push whenever you’re on the verge of giving up.

Imagine if I were to be in front? You would have seen my tears and my weakness. I don’t want to be vulnerable to you. I want to be strong, so that I can seem trustworthy enough for you to lean on. And only behind you can all these happen.

Yoseob, I thank you for letting me have this chance to actually not be in front of you, but behind you, to be your shadow. Of course I miss being beside you, but I appreciate my place now. Being close like this, it’s more than enough. Thank you.