“Morning,” I said with a smile as I met Jonghyun by the school gates. I pulled him in for a hug. “Happy birthday, big boy,” I said into his ear.

“Thanks,” he said shortly and pulled away. “Where’s my birthday present?” he asked with teasing smile. I knew what he wanted but I just shrugged and headed towards our lockers.

“I didn’t get one…” I said. Jonghyun chuckled a little.

“Just like you,” he said, but I thought I could scent a vague tone of disappointment in his voice, though it was well hidden.

“Don’t be sad, I gave you a hug, didn’t I?” I said and stuck out my tongue. He laughed halfheartedly.

“Well, we are kind of dating, so that should be a natural part of our relationship,” he said quietly. I smiled secretly. Oh, this guy… I opened my locker and took out my books and glanced at him from the side. He kicked some invisible dirt on the ground and looked down on his feet. I felt my conscience get all beaten up at the sight. I nudged his arm.

“Yah, are you really that disappointed that I didn’t give you a birthday gift?” I asked with a sad face. He looked up at me and quickly smoothed his facials out and plastered a smile onto his lips.

“Of course not.” He gave my shoulder a light hit. That felt so unnatural. I crooked one eyebrow.

“If you say so…” I said and slammed my locker closed and joined Jonghyun towards our first class. We sat down next to each other and every once in a while I sneaked a peek at him. His head was hanging low and he wasn’t paying attention to what the teacher said. I chewed on my bottom lip and frowned to myself. Maybe this wasn’t such a smart move after all. After class Jonghyun and I picked up our stuff and silently walked side by side back to our lockers. “Hey, is anything the matter?” I asked, looking at how he was unusually quiet. He shook his head. “Do you want to come over to my house tonight? For some celebration…” Jonghyun stopped in his tracks and looked at me with big eyes.

“What did you say?” he asked in surprise. This was the first time I had ever invited him over and one of the few times I at all took the initiative for the two of us to meet. I didn’t bother to repeat my sentence though, since I knew very well that he had heard what I had said. He averted his gaze for a few seconds and wetted his lips.

“I can’t.” He gave me a remorseful look.

“But, you have to, please come over, just for a while.” I mentally facepalmed myself. Of course, I should have given him a heads up before inviting him, this was too sudden. Who doesn’t have plans for his own birthday? He frowned slightly.

“I already have plans, and they’re kind of not possible to change…” Jonghyun shrugged. “I’m sorry, I really wish I could say yes but…”

“Can’t you swing by just for a little while?” I asked with a hopeful smile. Suddenly something happened with Jonghyun. He groaned loudly and pulled one hand through his hair.

“So now you want to see me?” he laughed bitterly and gave me a furious look. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? Waited for you to finally let me close? Ever since Valentines Day I’ve been waiting and hoping, but no, nothing. And now suddenly you want to hang out? I’ve said no already, I already have plans!” He raised his voice for every sentence. I took a small step back and held up my books in front of me.

“You don’t have to be so angry, I was just…”

“Angry? Every time we see each other it has been on your conditions and for once you couldn’t accept mine!? I’m just tired, really tired, of you playing around with my feelings.” Jonghyun fell silent and looked down at his own books. “Excuse me,” he said and made his way past me. I looked after him in surprise and guilt filling my heart. It never was my intention for him to feel that way, I just need time to trust people.

“What was that all about?” Di Di asked from behind me. I turned to her and shook my head.

“I don’t really know, I think I’ve messed up.”

“So, he’s not coming to your house?” Di Di asked and studied her nail polish. I sighed and opened my locker.

“Doesn’t seem that way…”

“I’ll talk to him,” She offered generously. I glanced suspiciously at her.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…” I began hesitatingly. But Di Di ignored me, just like the old days.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” she said and walked off to her second morning class.

Di Di sat down beside Jonghyun. He looked at her with his eyebrows lifted.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. Di Di gave him a sweet smile.

“I just want to chat with my dear friend, so I’m sitting down next to him,” she said and batted her eyelashes. Jonghyun scooted away from her, worried about what she had in mind.

“Key is going to kill you for taking his seat, you know,” he said carefully. Did Di laughed and waved his comment off.

“Of course not, he knows I’m a bigger diva than he’ll ever be,” she said proudly.

“True story bro’!” Key muttered from Di Di’s actual seat a few desks away.

“Wha- Key!?” Jonghyun called out to him, but his friend just shrugged back at him. Jonghyun glanced at Di Di. “Did she send you or something?” he asked. Di Di gave him a skeptical look.

“Are you believing yourself right now?” she asked and crooked one eyebrow. Jonghyun slowly shook his head. “I didn’t think so.” She leaned back in her seat and picked up a pocket mirror from her handbag. “So, what are you guys fighting about?” she asked while studying her own reflection closely. Jonghyun sighed and ruffled his hair.

“Nothing really…”

“Oh, I don’t believe you. You like someone died, just tell me already.” Di Di smacked her mirror closed and glared at him. “You know, I hate this kind of behaviour! It’s just so, so… unnecessary! Why don’t the two of you just become a couple already, what’s with all this yapping?” Jonghyun looked incredulously at her.

“For serious? I’ve done so much to try to show her. She said she’d give me a chance to pay attention to her, and I’ve done nothing else this year. Still it doesn’t seem to be enough. I just don’t understand what she wants from me. What more do I have to do?” Jonghyun balled his hands into fists in an attempt to make the frustration and anger go away, but there was no use. Di Di rested her elbows against her desk.

“Have you tried just telling her?” she asked simply. “Your feelings I mean.”

“I think I’ve made myself clear considering my feelings…”

“She needs to hear it from you. She doesn’t trust people easily, I would know…”

“It’s your fault…”

“That’s irrelevant,” she snapped at him. She composed herself immediately. “Just go over to her house, I’m sure you can settle this.” Jonghyun growled.

“I wish I could go, but since she was so late with asking I’ve already made other plans.”

“What kind of plans?” Di D asked uninterested. Jonghyun shrugged.
“I promised Onew and the guys that I’d celebrate my birthday with them.”

“I’ll talk to Onew oppa, he has a thing for me, I’ll work it out. Just, promise me you’ll go there.” They looked at each other for a while. Jonghyun was the first one to look away.

“Fine.”

I walked through the corridors with my head low. Now what was I supposed to do, about everything? I’d let my insecurity about trust out on Jonghyun without meaning it, and now he’d grown tired of me. I glanced towards his locker and saw him standing with his back against the wall with a bunch of fan girls standing in front of him, all with pink and fluffy gifts for him on his birthday. I felt my mind darken. I hate pink… I turned my head away so that I didn’t have to see anymore of this nonsense. There was no way Jonghyun was gong to accept these gifts, right? I glanced back just in time to see Jonghyun receive a big white teddy bear while smiling at the girl. I bit my lip. Fine, it was just out of politeness… That’s when the girl pulls him in to a hug and holds him in a tight embrace. My heart almost stopped. Wasn’t he going to pull away? I snapped my head in the opposite direction as I heard him laugh. I guess I didn’t mean that much to him anyway. In the corner of my eye I saw one of Jonghyun’s friends. Was he waving at me? I looked at him hesitantly, but when he called my name I finally walked up to him. I stopped on a safe distance.

“Yes?”

“Don’t cancel anything tonight, we’ll make sure Jonghyun is at your house on time.” He winked at me and ruffled my hair as he walked past me along with some of his friends. I stayed and looked after him and from afar I met eyes with Jonghyun. I averted my gaze and hurried away from there. What was going on?

I nervously twirled a lock of my hair between my fingers as I impatiently waited for Jonghyun. According to that Onew-guy he was going to be walking up my drive way anytime now. Suddenly Di Di came hurrying from the kitchen.

“He’s here,” she whispered. There was a bit of commotion before I walked out in the hallway, waiting for the doorbell to sound. Jonghyun seemed to be hesitating outside the door, because I could see his shadow outside the window, but finally he pushed the button and the doorbell’s tones echoed through the house. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hi…”

“Hey…”

“Come in,” I said after a moment of silence. He stepped over the threshold and looked around. He put his shoes on the rack and followed me silently into the living room. I motioned towards the couch. “Welcome to my place.” Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something put he was interrupted when suddenly people was entering the room from every door and even through a window, they were popping up behind the sofa and from behind doors and underneath tables singing happy birthday to Jonghyun. He startled took a few steps backwards and stared around the room at the uncountable number of people storming towards him. He looked at me before he disappeared into the mass of people. I kept my distance, feeling a bit too awkward to join the crowd as they lifted Jonghyun off his feet and threw him up in the air repeatedly a few times.

“Get the booze!” someone yelled and everyone cheered eagerly. I was going to have a great job cleaning up after this.

Di Di had just been in with a few empty bottles and left them on the counter with a short: ‘he’s on his way’, before she left the kitchen through the other door and Jonghyun entered the room the same way Di Di had. He stayed in the doorway and looked at me. I kept my gaze locked on the glass I was cleaning.

“Please, sit down, it feels awkward when you’re standing there,” I said without looking at him and opened the dishwasher slightly as it was finally finished. Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm and I turned around to see Jonghyun standing right next to me.

“If you want to talk about this, could you please sit down with me?” he asked. I looked up at him.

“Maybe we should just take it right here,” I suggested, uncertain that I could take one single step away from this spot since my legs suddenly felt like spaghetti.

“Fair enough.” Jonghyun let go of my arm and leaned against the kitchen counter. “For how long have you planned this?” he asked. I shrugged. It had taken me some time to make the information reach everyone, and to convince my parents to leave town at this particular day.

“Some time,” I said vaguely. He looked at me for a long time.

“You’re really unpredictable,” he said. I shrugged again, not knowing what to say. I looked down on my foamy hands.

“I’m sorry for being so hard on you… I’m not used to someone paying attention to me.” I sighed and looked up at him with an apologizing look. “I’m not really good with words…”

“Oh, I think you did it pretty well this New Years Eve,” he said in a slight mocking tone and crossed his arms over his chest. I felt my cheeks flush.

“Well, um… that was an impulse,” I said, as if that would explain anything. Jonghyun flashed me a crooked grin.

“I wish you would follow your impulses a bit more often.”

“This party was an impulse, well, a planned impulse…” I trailed off. He stepped closer and lifted one hand to my cheek and nudged it gently.

“Why won’t you talk to me? Am I doing anything wrong?” he asked and looked me straight in the eyes, with a gaze so honest and sincere that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t explain the reason to my shyness and insecurity, because I wasn’t entirely sure of it myself. I was just scared.

“I don’t want to be let down again,” I whispered. Jonghyun’s eyes twinkled in a smile.

“I won’t let you down,” he said. He tilted my head upwards and my heart stopped in my chest as he brought his face closer to mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I waited for the kiss.

“Jonghyun, are yo- Woah! Sorry to interrupt you!” Jonghyun and I were miles apart in a split second.

“What the hell Onew!” Jonghyun growled. Onew grinned sheepishly as he awkwardly scratched his ear.

“Sorry…” he chuckled uncomfortably. We were all standing silent for a little while and I hid myself behind my hair in embarrassment. “Well…” Onew began again. “Have you gotten your gift yet?” he asked Jonghyun. Jonghyun made round eyes.

“What gift?” he asked confusedly. I glared at Onew and he slapped his hands across his mouth.

“You didn’t give it to him!? I’m so sorry!” He bowed repeatedly. I glanced at Jonghyun who was looking at me curiously, hence I immediately averted my gaze and looked back at Onew. How did he even know about the present?

“Onew! I told you not to go in there, gosh!” Di Di ran into the kitchen and grabbed Onew by the arm. That explains his knowledge about it… “I’m sorry you, I tried to stop him,” she said with an apologizing grimace as she dragged the older boy out of the room. Onew winked at Jonghyun before Di Di slammed the door closed behind the both of them. I laughed nervously.

“That was awkward,” I mumbled, more to myself than to Jonghyun. He walked closer again with an innocent look on his face. A mischievous smile played on his lips.

“So, what is this rumourI hear, about a certain birthday present?” he asked playfully. In reflex I put my hand in my pocket and fiddled with the small box inside. He tilted his head. “Will I like it?” I didn’t meet his gaze. I certainly hope so. I picked up the box from my pocket and slowly reached it towards him. He looked at it for a while before accepting it. He smiled widely at me as he opened the lid. He glanced down and his smile faltered a bit. He glanced up at me again. “Umm… thanks,” he said, and I could hear the disappointment and confusion in his voice, despite his good will to hide it.

“It’s not empty,” I said and looked calmly at him, even though my heart was beating its way out of my ribs. He let his gaze on me for a moment before looking into the box once more. It took him a few seconds to see it against the red velvet inside of it, but after a few seconds he held up a tiny piece of paper between two fingers and he held it up against the light to get a better look at it. I looked down on my feet.

“I couldn’t really give it to you, but there it is,” I said, my cheeks flushing crazily. Jonghyun still looked at it. It was a small heart cut out from a piece of red paper with a text written in tiny letters on it.

“What is it exactly?” he asked slowly. I shrugged and glanced at him.

“It’s my heart.” Jonghyun snapped his head at me and his mouth fell open, His dark eyes intensely focused on mine. “It belongs to you,” I quoted my own words that I had written down on my so-called confession letter. With mixed emotions watched him step closer and a smile spread across his face. “It was an impulse…”

“Come here you,” he said beaming happily at me as he pulled me into his embrace. He held me tight and buried his face in my hair. I smiled where I was, pressed against his chest and my arms winded around his waist. “Finally, I’ve been waiting and hoping for this for so long,” he whispered. He leaned back and loosened his grip around my body. “There’s something else I’ve been waiting and longing to do.” Before anyone had time to enter the room and interrupt Jonghyun put his hand behind my neck and pulled me towards him, gently pressing his lips against mine in a sweet kiss. I closed my eyes and enjoyed from the feeling that spread through my body. The feeling of being safe, being loved and wanted. The feeling that told me I could risk everything just to be with him. I trusted him with this, with my heart.

We both looked to the side at the sound of the door slamming open and several people fell into a pile of arms and legs on the floor and a lot more were visible in the hallway behind them. Onew laughed goofily as he was lying at the bottom of the heap of humans.

“We were just getting something to drink,” he said guiltily. Jonghyun and I glanced at each other. He flashed me a smile and pulled me in for another kiss. Show off. I smiled into the kiss and s my arms around his neck while everyone around us cheered loudly.

“Let’s celebrate!” Di Di shouted and popped open a bottle of champagne with a loud bang and the foam was dripping onto the floor. I glanced at them before turning my attention back to Jonghyun.

“You’ll be the one to help me clean up this mess afterwards, you know,” I said teasingly. I just smiled at me.

“Anything for you.” I pulled away and slapped his chest playfully.

“Enough with the cheesy comments, let’s party!”

And that’s how you and Jonghyun found their happiness, and they lived happily ever after……………………