I'm probably the most stupid person in the whole wide world.

I broke up with Sungmin, few weeks ago.

Why?

Because I 'felt tired'.

I got tired of the feeling, his love was overwhelming me.

"Let's break up" I said coldly. It probably was the most harsh thing I have ever said in my whole existence. "I'm sorry? You were saying?" he placed his DS down."I said.. Let's break up." I repeated, gulping right after. "What?" he chuckled nervously. "You're.. You're kidding.. right?" I can still clearly remember how his smile slowly vanished. I looked down with my arms crossed, it was obviously sinking in between us already.

"Why?" he choked out, barely being able to look up to me. "Why are you breaking up with me?" I hated how his voice which was always sweet and joyous, suddenly turned to something.. unlike him.

I fixed my bangs which were getting in the way upon my sight of him. "You're keeping my image clean. All those things.. those terrible things I've done. You're always right there all out of the blue to patch things up. I wanna do things my way! I wanna clean up every mess I create. I wanna breathe! I wanna live MY life!' I shouted, emphasizing on 'MY' for him to realize my wish for freedom.

The fake laugh echoed in the room. I looked at him with his head down. Suddenly, he stood up. "Babe.. It's because I'm your man. I wanna be the Prince Charming you need." he said in a sincere tone. "Welcome to the 21st century.. where The princess knows how to fight for herself already." I sensed the nervousness in myself. "Let's face it Sungmin.. We're over."

I finally said it.

I rushed my way out of the studio as soon as I said it.

I felt horrible.

I felt free.

I felt...

numb.

After the break-up.. All I remember is that I start doing things everything on my own. 'Sunny's own way' that's how my uncle described it. I went from one party to another.. Club after club.. party till morning and a lot more.

The long brown hair he used to love.. I had it cut into a short one and had it dyed to blonde.

Lacey dresses.. Floral blouses.. pale pastel colored skirts.. in exchange for black and leather outfits.

Then last night, I got pretty drunk. I got home and went straight to my room. There it was.. the picture we had from Sora and Leeteuk's wedding.

--

"Where are you staring at?"

"Your face."

"Why? Yah. Oppa.. stop it. Seriously!"

"I can't.. You're so beautiful'

--

I can still feel the warmth of his palm against my cheek. Hearing his small whispers of 'I love you', soft music that used to make me sway while being trapped in his arms and lastly..

"Sungmin.. Why did you choose Sunny?"
"Simple.. My life was boring and dull.. then she came.. and taught me the real meaning of it."

I leaned back to the wall, sighing. Why is it all suddenly hitting me hard? The hard reality that I can never love and I will never ever be loved by anyone like he loves me.

Few more mindless blabbering and pondering.. I've decided.

Now here I am.. off to somewhere I don't know. The soft drops of the rain against the window of my car made me miss him more. Suddenly the rain pours down. "" I cursed outloud and smacked the steering wheel. I was in the middle of nowhere. Stuck. Just like my heart. My heart is stuck in the middle of nowhere and I feel awful.

I have to fix my car. I can give it a try. I slowly opened the door, the sound of the pouring rain getting louder. It felt as if it's pounding in my head. I looked up, letting the raindrop fall into my face. It felt amazing. I can feel his kisses. As it fell unto my lips I felt like tearing up.

"Sunny.." a voice out of nowhere was all I heard. I've heard that before. I must be just hallucinating for missing him so much. Suddenly I felt the rain stop. I slowly opened my eyes and saw that I was under the umbrella already. "You'll get sick." he said. "Why are you here?" I asked with a straight face. "I was following you." he mumbled. "Don't state the obvious." I hissed.

"Sunny.. Look.. I love you.. I loved you, I still love you and I always will be loving only you." he said. "I just want you back." he whispered, almost inaudibly. "

"oh shut up and kiss me!" I blurted out before attacking him with a kiss, letting the umbrella fall to the ground.

I guess this is it. This is where I belong.

After all the dark gray clouds and heavy rain..

I finally found the rainbow of my life.

My apologies for having to update this after such a long time.

But then again..

TA-DAH..

A SunSun one shot.

I am trying my best to get my inspiration back on..

I hope you guys liked it.

Kamsahamnida.

u_ub

-EasternPearl

** image ; not mine

*** too lazy to make poster for this. orz Mianeh.