Minho thought he understood everything about love.  He thought he understood everything about Taemin.  He thought he was on top of his life.

He was sorely mistaken, and it took his boyfriend of three years to show him that.

“Hyung, you know I hate strawberries.”

Minho loved strawberries, so what was wrong with buying a strawberry cheesecake?

What was wrong was that it was their anniversary.

1. Minho was selfish.

“Hyung, what do you think of my new hair?  You like blonde, right?”

“It doesn’t go with your eyes.”

The younger boy pouted and looked in the mirror.  Brown and yellow looked fine together…right?  He had spent his whole paycheck on this hairdo, just to make his boyfriend happy.  But it wasn’t good enough.

1. Minho was selfish.
2. Minho was insensitive.

“Omo, hyung, can we get a puppy?  Please?  Pretty please?”

“Don’t be a child, Minnie.  We can’t get a dog because I’m allergic.”

He wasn’t allergic.  He just didn’t want the noise, nor the smells.

1. Minho was selfish.
2. Minho was insensitive.
3. Minho was a liar.

“Taemin, what are you doing still up?  It’s midnight!”

The younger boy rubbed his eyes sleepily.  “I was waiting for you.”

“Why?  You should have gone to sleep!”

“Neh…goodnight hyung.”  Taemin looked at his feet and trudged off to the bedroom.  He didn’t let himself cry; he wouldn’t be that weak.  It wasn’t like he expected Minho to remember his birthday anyway.

1. Minho was selfish.
2. Minho was insensitive.
3. Minho was a liar.
4. Minho was forgetful.

“What’s wrong?”

Minho groaned.  “Can’t reach the remote.”

Taemin got up and walked across the room to hand Minho the remote.  “I’m getting hungry, hyung.”

“Make yourself some food then.  Oh and while you’re at it, make me something too.”

No ‘please.’  No ‘thank you.’  No ‘Lee Taemin, you’re the greatest boyfriend any guy could ever ask for.’

Not even so much as a smile in his direction.

1. Minho was selfish.
2. Minho was insensitive.
3. Minho was a liar.
4. Minho was forgetful.
5. Minho was unappreciative.

“Why are you up this late again?  Taemin, go to bed!”

Don’t treat me like a child, Taemin thought.  But not once did he ever complain.

Again and again, he waited for Minho.  He waited every night, and sometimes he hid, not wanting to be scolded again.  Minho’s return got later and later each time.  One night, Minho didn’t come home until morning.

Taemin didn’t even ask where he’d been.

1. Minho was selfish.
2. Minho was insensitive.
3. Minho was a liar.
4. Minho was unappreciative.
5. Minho was secretive.

“Taemin!  Where have you been?”  Minho glanced over his boyfriend’s shoulder and his eyes narrowed.  He shoved the door closed and confronted the younger boy.  “Why were you with Jonghyun?  What were you two doing together, huh Taemin?”

“Nothing hyung, we were just-”

“Just what?  Just hanging out behind my back, being all lovey dovey?”

“Hyung, he was just-”

“I bet he took you someplace real nice, didn’t he?  I bet you had fun.”

“But he was just-”

“I’m going out.”  With that, Minho grabbed an umbrella and stormed out of their apartment, leaving Taemin behind to stare at his feet.

‘He was just helping me walk home.  I twisted my ankle.’  He had given up on expecting Minho to listen to him.  When his boyfriend was upset, he wouldn’t let Taemin get a word in edgewise.

He doubted Minho even noticed he was drenched from head to toe.

1. Minho was selfish.
2. Minho was insensitive.
3. Minho was a liar.
4. Minho was unappreciative.
5. Minho was secretive.
6. Minho was untrusting.

If Taemin were to make a list of all the ways Minho had hurt him, he wouldn’t know where to stop.  The offenses piled up, stretching on and on until Taemin couldn’t tell them apart from each other anymore, the feelings twisting together and blurring.  It confused his heart to the point where he didn’t even know what exactly hurt anymore.

Despite all this, Taemin tried his best to forgive Minho.  For a while it worked.  But the more lenient Taemin became, the worse his boyfriend grew.  The worst part was that Minho didn’t even seem to notice it one bit.  He didn’t notice the way he treated Taemin, nor did he notice how the younger boy was growing increasingly melancholy.  He hardly ever smiled genuinely anymore; they were forced, all for the sake of Minho’s happiness.

But Minho’s happiness was ruining his.  Taemin just didn’t know how to tell him.

He loved Minho just as much as ever.  That hadn’t changed, and Taemin knew inside his aching heart that it never would.  But inside that aching heart was exactly where he would lock it, because he couldn’t take it anymore.  This needed to end.

“You’re taking me for granted.”

Minho looked at him like he had suddenly grown an extra foot out of his head.  “What are you talking about?”

Of course he didn’t know.  He hadn’t noticed a thing.  Of course he didn’t understand.  “You’re taking me for granted.  You never listen, you don’t trust me, you don’t confide in me anymore, you don’t seem to notice anything I do for you…”

He could have rambled on and on, if it weren’t for Minho’s arms wrapping around him, drawing him into his warm embrace.  “Taemin, I love you.”  He knew that already.  As if that made anything alright.

“That’s not love, hyung…maybe it was, but…”

“Taemin, I do love you!” Minho insisted.  He just wasn’t getting it, was he?  He’d forgotten how to love.  Maybe he didn’t know in the first place.

“I can’t live like this, hyung!”  He drew in a sharp breath; he was on the verge of tears, but he mustn’t lose his resolve.  He pushed Minho away and stared into his eyes with a sharpness and determination that clearly stunned the elder.  “I’m leaving.  When you’re ready to love me…”  He nearly choked on the words.  “And I mean really love me.”  His hands slid off of Minho’s chest, falling to his sides limply.  “…Come find me.”

Minho stared at Taemin’s back as he left the apartment, taking only his most precious things with him.  Second most precious, because nothing could ever be as precious to him as the love of his life.  As Taemin shot one last look over his shoulder, his gaze conveyed that reality all too clearly to Minho, and it pierced his heart.  He had hurt his lover.  He had hurt the most precious thing in the world to him.

Minho’s internal clock stopped at that moment, exactly midnight.  It was a time when he was almost never home, but Taemin was always awake.  Taemin had always waited for him.  He had always worried and compromised his own health just to see that Minho was alright.  And Minho had scolded him.

Scolded for what?  For not sleeping?  Or for caring?  For loving him?

It took Minho quite a while to realize what Taemin had meant by those parting words.  ‘When you’re ready to love me, come find me.’  He thought he had loved Taemin.  He had assumed.  He had been stupid, because the more he thought about it, the less he saw his actions as love.  Over the weeks, the more he reflected on how wonderful Taemin was, the more he saw the monster in himself, the beast inside his heart.

Cold, hard realization hit.  Taemin was gone, and he himself had driven him away.  He couldn’t believe his life had been turned so thoroughly upside down by such negligence, such selfishness, such stupidity.  He knew now how much he truly needed Taemin as he felt the dark void inside his heart, a gnawing emptiness that he just couldn’t shake, no matter how he tried.  But he didn’t want to move on.  He couldn’t.  He needed Taemin.

But his boyfriend had left no way to contact him.

In desperation, Minho called everyone he knew who also knew Taemin, asking if they knew, begging them to know where he was.  He even called Jonghyun, the man he had always resented out of bitter jealousy.

Nobody had seen Taemin since the day he left.

That wouldn’t stop Minho.  He simply had to find Taemin.  Without him, there was no point in life, no reason to go on.  He was stuck at midnight, at the darkest time, the darkest moment in his life.  He was stuck at the very moment when Taemin had walked out of his life, leaving him without purpose, without meaning, without hope.  Taemin was his all, and he realized that now.  He hated that he was so dense.  It had taken losing him for Minho to truly cherish him.

Love is like a diamond; precious, unbreakable, and absolutely gorgeous.  And like a diamond, many take love for granted, and fail to see the true beauty it holds.

But hearts are not like diamonds.  A heart is like a rose, beautiful and yet delicate.  And when two roses entwine, each must take great care, lest its thorns pierce the other.

Minho’s thorns pierced the petals of Taemin’s heart, and in return, Taemin’s diamond pierced Minho’s.  But Minho couldn’t let it end there.  A rose bush always has a chance to bloom again.  As the clock struck twelve again, Minho resolved to find Taemin.  No matter how long it took, he would find him, and give their hearts one more chance to bloom together, a chance to start over from mere buds and grow into something they could both cherish forever.

And until Minho found him, his clock would stay stopped at that single moment.

Midnight.