He was my dancing partner and crush, but I knew I wasn’t his. He had made it very clear to me that he didn’t like me like I liked him. Still, I couldn’t stop falling for him. Hoya was such a lovely person. How could someone not fall for him? Still this was my struggle trying to fall out of love with Hoya.

“You okay there?” That lovely mahogany voice asked. I snapped out of my thoughts and nodded at him.

“Yeah, I just have a couple things on my mind,” I assured him. He nodded.

“You want to go eat after class?” He asked, “Maybe you can finally help me meet Jaeri.” I smiled, but shook my head. Helping him get his crush? I’d rather let him figure it out.

“Sorry Hoya, I have other things to do,” I answered looking away. Hoya shot a pout at me. I continued to ignore him. Normally I would give in but I knew what his intentions were and it hurt that all he wanted was to get to Jaeri. I knew he was my friend, but at the moment that didn’t seem important.

“What are you going to do that is so important?” Hoya questioned following me around the studio. I sighed and before I could answer another voice answered for me.

“She’s going to spend time with me,” CNU, another one of my close friends, answered. I shot him a grateful smile as I pulled him in to a hug.

“Since when do you two spend time together?” Hoya asked, feeling irked that he didn’t get what he wanted. I hope it was something else, but I doubt it.

“I can tell that she’s having a rough day. I’m here to cheer her up,” Cnu informed him. I smiled, knowing that he was fully aware of this situation.

“Well, why didn’t you tell me you were having a bad day?” Hoya questioned me, with an expression that almost seemed like he was being betrayed.

“A true friend doesn’t need to ask,” Cnu added. I felt tension in the world. Cnu and Hoya were never the best of friends. They were casual sure, but it was obvious they would prefer to be around other people. “Plus who said she was only your friend, Howon?” He added, with a smirk. I facepalmed and shook my head.

Cnu you’re just asking for enemies.

“I’ll wait for you outside araso?” Cnu told me. I nodded and went back to where my things were at.

“Aish, that guy annoys me.” Hoya commented as soon as Cnu left. I chuckled.

“He’s a great guy. You guys just don’t mesh,” I told him.  He shook his head.

“I can’t believe you are going to spend time with him? And why didn’t you tell me something was wrong? I feel like a jerk because all I talked about was Jaeri,” He said. I shrugged.

“I don’t like to bother people with my problems. Cnu always manages to read me like a book though,” I drifted off. Hoya heaved a heavy sigh.

“I hate that you’re friends with him, but well just don’t get too attached to him araso?” he warned me. I felt a pang at my heart when he said that. It made me feel like maybe he did care… more than just a friend did.

“Why you jealous?” I joked, zipping up my bag and putting it over my shoulder.

“Well he’s trying to steal my best friend away from me. Of course I’m going to be defensive,” He added. I frown slightly as he said that.

“Don’t worry about that,” I muttered, walking towards the exit.

“No hug?” Hoya asked from behind me. I sighed.

“I’ll see you around, Hoya.” I told him, not wanting to turn back to see him. Once again I felt disappointed.

“Was it something I said,” Hoya questioned himself as he watched me leave.

He could never understand my disappointment.

I met up with Cnu and he shot a smile at me.

“So, what’s wrong?” He questioned. I sighed.

“You know, the usual. I’m tired of just being his friend, but I know that’s all I’ll ever be,” I responded.

“Sorry, I mean don’t get me wrong. I’m not a big fan of Hoya, but the fact that he’s hurting you makes me hurt,” He frowned. I smiled. At least I had someone who cared about me.

“Well at least im not alone.” I commented. Then he hugged me sideways.

“Well as long as I am around, I’ll always be here to comfort you,” He told me. I smiled and squeezed him lightly.

“So where is this sculpture that you wanted me to help you with?” I asked. This wasn’t intentional. I knew that Cnu wanted me to help him with a sculpture. I just didn’t expect that he was going to come get me at the time that he did.

“It’s in the art room. Kaja,” He told me. Soon we were headed to the art room.

[Art room]

When we arrived at the art room, I was surprised to find an intricate art deco style building. I went to move the model but I found that it was still wet.

“It’s still wet,” I commented. He nodded.

“I’m scared to cook it because I think the support pillars are too thin and it’ll break in the oven,” He told me. I nodded.

“I’m guessing you wanted my help in finding a way to make this structurally sound?” I questioned. He nodded. I ogled the small model and soon came up with an idea.  We worked continuously and joked around here and there. Before I knew it I was back to being cheerful.

“Alright thanks! I’m going to go put it in the oven.” I nodded.

“I’m going to wash up and head home alright?” I told him. He nodded and I got all of my things to leave. However, as I turned the corner I was surprised to see Hoya already talking to Jaeri. I sighed heavily. I took another exit out of school.

I decided that I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’m just going to stop being associated with Hoya.

[The Next day: Dance class]

We all got in to our partners and were trying to learn a new choreography for the student festival coming up.

I stood in front of the mirror going through each move slowly and precisely.

“How did it go with Cnu yesterday?” Hoya asked me. I nodded.

“Pretty good,” I answered shortly. He eyed me suspiciously.

“Is there something wrong?” He asked me. I shook my head.

“No, what’s up with you?” I questioned. He soon started to explain his incident with Jaeri yesterday and how he was going to have lunch with her today. I felt my heart rip as he explained everything.

“Just stop,” I told him. He stopped and looked over at me confused.

“W-what?” He questioned.

“Just stop. Hoya, just… let’s stop being friends okay?” I told him abruptly, as I stopped dancing. He looked at me shocked.

“I don’t understand. What’s wrong? Did I offend you or something?” He questioned. I breathed heavily not understanding if my pound heart was due to Hoya or the dancing.

“Look Hoya, I can’t take this. I love you okay! I know that you don’t love me. So for my sake lets just stop,” I blurted out, not really understanding what came over me. I took this opportunity to take up my gym bag.

“But I-I… you can’t just tell me that and leave,” He insisted. I shook my head.

“I’m done Hoya. I’m not going to keep doing this,” I told him, leaving the studio. I ran in to Cnu almost immediately after.

“Hey what’s wrong?” He asked, as I bumped in to him.

“Nothing oppa, I just… finally told him,” I admitted. Cnu sighed and patted my back.

“Well at least now you can focus on your dance auditions,” He suggested. I nodded and tightened my grip on the strap of my gym bag.

What Hoya didn’t know was that I was going to go audition to some dance companies in Japan and I would be gone for 2 weeks. I felt he didn’t have to know, and after the two weeks were over I hoped that when I came back we could rationally talk about our friendship.