“Mir!, Mireu! Wake up now! Yah. YAH!” I was awake, very awake. I knew Thunder was shaking me and slapping me and if my body wasn’t so numb I would have felt all of it but I couldn’t help but feel anything but humiliation, sorrow and some other, much darker, feelings that attached to me when I left that party. I didn’t even have the strength to run away or even to hide my face I was just …dead inside.

“Yah! I know you’re Mireu so get up.” He stopped shaking me and sighed. “I really need to talk to you, at some point I guess.” Thunder stood up from the edge of my bed. Our room door creaked open; I knew he was going to leave the room. I felt something, faintly, land on my hip on top of the sheets veering me.  I felt over myself, a piece of paper met my hand. I unfolded it.

“You could have told me, I would have never been upset with you. I just wanted to let you know that Mir. I care too much about you. Whenever you decide to stop avoiding talking to me, pack your things, we can go camping. I won’t tell a soul.” – hyung

I wanted to scream my lungs out when I read it. Thunder has been too understanding and sweet how am I supposed to make this up to him?  I was always lying to him, sneaking around him, getting him in trouble, hurting him and he never once just got upset and left me alone. He always stuck by me.

I’m just, a loser. What’s worse than being hurt is knowing I’m the one that hurt myself. I hurt Joon, he trusted me. I lied to him over and over again; he’ll never want to talk to me again. People kept warning about me and I just kept lying to his face and now he knows, everyone knows I’ve embarrassed him. I’m such an awful person.

“Yah stop it!” Thunder burst back into the room “Get up!” he commanded, not that he really waited to see if I was going to get up before he tugged on my arm and dragged me out of bed by my wrist.

My body and the sheets wrapped around it slid of the mattress and on to the floor space between my bed and Thunder’s. I looked up at my tall hyung while I rubbed my tailbone that I’d hurt when my bottom met the floor. He crouched down to my level and neared his mouth to my ear. “Get ready now, we are leaving.” His voice came out a bit grizzly and it made me shiver. “He then stood up straight and started to walk away from me.

“Hey…hey... YAH! Do mom and dad know? Has Go Eun ah said anything?” I asked. Cheondoong let out another rough sigh and glinted in my direction. “She’s promised not to say anything, at least until we all talk.”

“Does unni know?” (Mir’s other sister) Thunder half shook his head, stopped, then shrugged. He trotted to our closet and tossed my empty luggage case at me, carelessly. “Pack enough for a week.”

I nodded and he left again.

Joon p.o.v

I never went home; back to my parents or even my dorm. I felt sick to my stomach and not because I was “embarrassed” or even confused but my heart just felt weird. I wasn’t processing everything right, I wasn’t processing anything. I risked being taken away by security after the party but my body just wouldn’t allow me to move. I felt, sick, so sick. I was still in that same outfit, sitting in front of that gate I stood with him last night, and the love of my life, before everything changed I was standing right here with him. He was in my arms, his lips were on mine and nothing else in the universe mattered.

                People were walking and glancing at me. In the same clothes from last night, only I’m sure I probably looked a bit more disheveled and...Pathetic. The looked down at me and whispered to each other. “Poor thing I bet he didn’t have a clue.” “What an idiot how couldn’t he tell? Everyone else knew about it.”  “Did he stay here all night? He’s probably going to go crazy or something.”

“Does he seem less hot to you now? He’s pretty much a pedophile now anyway.”

Of course people aren’t really that great at whispering. I could’ve just let my body fall back to the cement behind me and have my skull crack open. I was jittery and nauseous; I just wanted to be in Mir’s arms. No matter what, he’s all I feel like I have. Whatever is wrong we can talk about; I just wanted to be near him. So I tried to reach out to him.

Mir’s p.o.v

I sat down on the log just in front of my green tent. The fire was crackling in front of me and I just watched it. Thunder and Go Eun ah were still unpacking the car, my arms could barely lift a marshmallow from the bag next to me, not that I had an appetite for anything.

I glanced over to the right, I saw my phone, it was vibrating, so much that it was sliding across the wooden log read the screen and I saw his face in the contact picture box. Joon was calling me. All I could do was cover my mouth with my hand, tears started to drain down my face and hand. My phone just kept vibrating…