They breathe… they smile… they laugh… they get mad… they live.

Feelings. How I wish I have that. I want to feel how to live. But no matter how I look at it, I’m all alone and lonely. I want to do something about it. I swear I once did. But it did me no good. Since my mother’s death, no one looked after me. I had to strive hard to send myself to school. Still, everyone pushed me away like I was a plague. I am.

I am up to no good, a lady told me after firing me from my work. I shifted work. My boss would fire me and I have to find another work again. Either they have issues from me or my guy bosses would fall for me and I couldn’t do anything but to voluntarily leave my job. No matter how much I want to die, I know I just can’t. I have suffered so much to just quit. I’ve been a loner ever since. Somehow I got used to it. I’m better off alone than to be with people. I don’t know the difference if I’ll have friends since I never had one.

No one seemed to care for me. When I work, people would talk to me of course. But they don’t bother to make friends to me.

Today, I got fired again. It’s not because of my poor performance in my job but because the boss thought that they should replace me with a much better person. Better? It’s always like that. I have no rights to complain at all. Life is unfair.

I strolled around the street and watched the people continue on with their lives. It always make me wonder, am I the only one suffering like this?

I looked at my left and saw this very handsome man in all black attire. He didn’t give that freaky feeling whenever I would see people wearing such dead color. But this man, his aura is different. It makes me want to go to him. He draws people near him. I stared at his features; his eyes were playful even though he just stared in nothing in particular. His lips look mischievous. His everything is y…I guess.

I realized he was now staring at me. I was startled. Not even one of my office mates stared at me like that for too long. I felt my cheeks warm. Feelings. I feel embarrassed. Embarrassed and happy at the same time. It’s my first time again to feel such emotions for a long time.

‘Ah, there you are.’

I know I’m being delusional for thinking that he just spoke in my mind. I don’t even know if he did. I looked down and smiled. I had enough for this day. I thought and stood up.

Usually, my mind is full of thoughts when I walk back to my apartment. But tonight, my mind is blank. I want to think. I want to worry. I want to be problematic. Sadly though, no thoughts came in. My eyes just kept scanning my surroundings. The night was awfully peaceful. I feel dead but seeing the people go on with their lives, somehow it makes me happy too.

How I wish my life is as colorful as the lights surrounding the streets. But I knew long before that it will never be granted. I’m different. I’m a stranger.

I looked back and saw the man in black again. Weird. Is he also going to the same place I’m going? I turned to my right and he also did. I want to freak out. I wanted to. But this usual setting is too familiar to me. It happens all the time. I always get nearly and I have to make every possible thing to escape. God must have really love me. Because until now, I’m alive… and pure.

I kept walking. It’s nothing to me now. Instead of going straight to my apartment, I went to an old, abandoned building. I saw the guy in black frown but still, he followed me. In times like this, the rooftop is where I always go. There are a lot of things there that I could use to help me beat up the guys who always plan to take advantage of me.

Why is my life like this? I ask. But it’s always rhetoric. I grabbed a nearby piece of wood and waited for the guy to step out of the roof top. As I was waiting, I had the time to look at my surroundings. In the dark, the houses look like stars. Stars… still it had no effect on me. As I have said, I’m different.

I looked back when I heard a sigh at my back. His back was leaning against the fence surrounding the roof top. He’s different from all the guys who tried to harm me. Usually, I would know when a guy approaches me because his steps are impatient… demanding. But this handsome guy who glowed against the lights of the houses seemed calm. He’s taking his time to scan me. It was awkward. I shifted my position which I realized was a bad move. I made him feel I was scared. I know I was. I just can’t feel it.

‘You’re scared now aren’t you?’

A voice spoke in my head. The same voice I heard a while ago.

For the second time, I’m being delusional. What made it worse was that I replied.

“I’m not scared.” I found myself blurting out. I quickly shook my head. The guy might think I’m crazy for talking to myself.

Then, the guy smiled at me. ‘Being in denial aren’t we?’

“W-what…?” I found myself ask. It’s impossible for the guy to talk in my mind right…?

‘Don’t freak out. You’re not being delusional. I’m really in your mind.’

“Then go out.” I demanded. I was being crazy. Maybe this is why the people treated me differently. I’m nothing like them.

I was hoping that once I said it, the voice in my mind would soon vanish. I want to make myself believe that it’s just purely imagination and that the voice is not from the guy I am facing now.

“I like you. You’re different.” The guy in black finally spoke. His voice was the exact voice in my head. H-how could that be possible…?

He chuckled. “And now that I’m talking, you’re starting to freak out.”

“I’m not.” I vehemently denied.

“Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

I gripped the wood tighter. Okay. Let’s get this over with so that I could be alone again.

His eyes found my hands clutching an old wood. He looked to his right and smiled.

His eyes turned back to me and I swear I saw fire in it. “Please drop that.” He said in a calm voice.

I did. I didn’t know if I really dropped it on purpose or not. I wanted to pick it up but he didn’t let me. He stepped forward.

“W-who are you…?” I asked the guy in black who’s now looking intently at me. I thought he’s just one of the guys who wanted to play on me but the look on his eyes says otherwise. I know. I’m crazy for even considering it. I should be more realistic. But all my life, it felt like I’m living in a dream. So it doesn’t hurt to think that… He’s not human.

“W-what are you…?” I rather asked.

“ Kwon Ji Yong the death god.” He simply replied like it was okay to say it aloud.

I was so surprised to hear myself laughing. I rarely laughed and the last time I laughed… I can’t remember. That’s how long I last laughed. Emotions…? How?

For the second time, this guy pulled out a feeling that I locked inside me. I laughed.

“HAHAHA!! Kwon Ji Yong the death god?? Pft. You are crazy!!!”

--------

a/n and soooo... there's the first chapter. aigooo. i'm not so confident about this kind of fics >.< i'll do my best to keep it interesting. please drop comments below! :))) please do subscribe to keep me up!

I can't wait for Strong Heart YG Family special videos...with english subs!