It is the month of March, almost time for Exo’s long-awaited debut. All the boys in both groups are giddy with excitement as last minute preparations give them a sense of urgency and adventure. At the center of it all is him. Kim Jong In, the so-called “face” of Exo. He smirks a little at the title bestowed upon him, but he can’t help but have a sinking feeling within him. He knows how hard it will be to have that responsibility put on him -- what if he messes up? What if it brings the whole team down? What if...?

But alas, there is no time for second thoughts. No time for hesitating. He is so very close, so close that he can almost taste the moment of success, so close that he can’t restrain himself from crying out with joy. He cannot wait to dance his heart out upon that stage, to feel the spotlight on his skin, to experience the world of stardom along with the rest of his teammates.

And perhaps the most important anticipation of all: to get her back again.

One day as he strolls through the halls of the SM building, he sees of a group of five girls: f(x), to be specific. The moment he recognizes them, he feels his heartbeat pulsating faster and faster, and he gulps as beads of sweat roll down his forehead. The one figure that catches his eye the most, is one of superior beauty, with her dark flowing hair and cool aura.

As the ladies walk toward his direction, he quickly gathers his wits, bowing deeply while earnestly saying, “Annyeonghaseyo” to each one. Krystal, his lovely Soojung, is last in line, and when he gets to her, it is like his body has become stiff and frozen. A huge knot gathers in his parched throat, and he is unable to greet her. He simply stares at her like a deer caught in the headlights at night.

The girl stands there, rendered immobile with the sight of him. Jongin-ah... her mind gasps. Time stops, and as their eyes drink each other in, Soojung feels prickly tears starting to blur her vision.

She feels Jinri tugging at her wrist worriedly, whispering incoherent things to edge her forward. Soojung lets herself be pulled along, absolutely dumbstruck. Still in a daze, Jongin walks away in the opposite direction, rubbing the back of his neck trying to comprehend what had just happened.

She glances back at his retreating figure, sending chills down her spine. Since when did he become so... tall? His heightened stature scares her a little, nothing like the little Jongin that she had once known.

Jinri whispers, “Soojung-ah, are you okay?”

She nods in response, giving her a weak smile. “I’m okay,” she hoarsely replies.


That night, Kai tosses and turns ceaselessly in his sleep. One second he is overjoyed at being able to see her in person,  finally, yet another second he is angry -- angry at her, angry at himself, angry at the world. He ponders whether this has all been a mistake, whether when all is said and done, she just won’t accept him back. His heart splinters at the thought, and he comforts himself, firmly saying that he will make it happen. He doesn’t know any other way. There is no other way for him.

At the f(x) dorm, Soojung clings onto Jinri as she sleeps, having crawled into the other member’s bed for fear of being too lonely and being plagued by her own thoughts. “Jinri...” she whimpers, half-asleep.

Jinri sighs, feeling an odd sense of deja-vu. This night is just like that night, about three years ago...


For them, it could have been love at first sight. The moment when Jongin entered SM Academy, he was greeted with the sight of a dance practice going on in one of the training rooms. He peered anxiously through the windows, instantly intrigued. He noticed that in the front of the formation was a girl who looked quite young compared to everyone else; she had that youthful aura about her, and she would always be smiling. Watching the way that she moved made his heart soar, which was weird because he had never felt that sensation before. After all, he was only in the eighth grade, and she was just over half a year younger than him, which they would later discover.

He stood there for five more minutes, engrossed in watching her dance, until the class was dismissed and the tired girls walked out of the room. The girl he had watched came out last, and was surprised to see him near the window.

“Hi, I am Soojung. You must be new here, right?” her voice is cheerful and sweet.

He blushed, “Hello, I am Kim Jongin. Please treat me well...”

She gave him a quick smile, saying, “Don’t act so formal with me, I’m one of the youngest trainees here!”

He laughed, embarrassed, grinning shyly. And Soojung just couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

They were the youngsters in the academy, and naturally always stuck together. Two peas in a pod, Jinri would say, almost with a hint of jealousy. Their innocent friendship bloomed into something more, something beautiful, something coveted.

And unfortunately, also something that was easily broken, despite their strong bond.

“Let’s break up,” Soojung had said, her bottom lip quivering and cheeks stained with tears.

He stared at her, his eyes wide and unbelieving. He felt as if a huge weight had been tied to his neck, and now he was drowning, drowning, drowning... He tried to speak, to tell her not to, to beg her to change her mind, but it was as though his lungs were filled with water, each word coming out as an incoherent sputter.

She grabbed hold of his hand once more, rubbing his palm endearingly as if savoring the touch. Then she looked up at him, stammering, “I-I’m so sorry...”

And she ran away, sprinting as fast her legs could take her, away, away, away...

Jongin stood there like a statue, his mind screaming and his heart wailing. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand at all.

That night, Soojung curled up in Jinri’s embrace, wrapping herself in the warmth of the bed covers. She sobbed for hours straight, remembering the shocked look on his face, memorizing the soft feel of his hands, reminiscing on all their happy days together. She cried because she knew that it was all gone, all because of her. She was torn because she loved him, so dearly, yet she was willing to give him up in order to debut.

You see, debuting required sacrifice. A star simply did not have any time for dating or puppy love endeavors. And she had set her mind on becoming a star, shining in the night sky. But she did not feel like one, not at all. She felt like a burnt-out star before she even became one.


Jongin remembers that fateful day in his dreams, or rather, nightmares. He cannot shake that feeling of utter betrayal -- how could she? How could she have done that to him? Why not explain to him what was really going on? He felt left behind, abandoned, lost. He had been happy for her debut, catching glimpses of her activites via the internet and the rare opportunities of watching TV in his spare time. He had watched her grow farther away, hiding her cheerful self underneath a cold mask that left Jongin surprised. But he knew his Soojung, and he was sure that underneath the nonchalant glares and fierce aura was a girl who was still inherently good, because that was who she was. All this, he could tolerate, but the one thing he had wanted was honesty; he had wanted the truth.

The truth is something that Soojung is not sure of. She wonders what his real motives are. What is she going to do when he finally catches up with her? She is afraid of being hurt, afraid of falling in love with him again, afraid of being vulnerable. She fears of revenge, of broken hearts, of being toyed with. Bitterly, she thinks that she deserves it. She was the one who had ditched him for fame, and somewhere along the road to stardom she had adopted a persona that wasn't herself. Somewhere along the way, she had chosen to protect herself from the world by making herself seem invincible. But of course, none of that ever works.

She was not good enough to him -- she is never good enough for anyone. She had failed him -- she will still fail him. He might come after her, and he will be disappointed. Or worse, he won’t come after her at all, a testimony that he is over her, that he is done, that he has moved on. And that prospect hurts her the most, because maybe, just maybe, the one truth that she knows is that she has been waiting for him the whole time.

They both wake up the next morning, feeling groggy. But they still pull themselves through the day, and the next, then the next. They are strong and resilient in that way. However they are still both fragile in that when their weak spot is hit, they grow a hardened shell to protect them from the world, and from each other.

Exo debuts, and everyone is ecstatic. A few months pass until it is summer. F(x) makes a comeback around the same time as Exo-K comes out with their new single as well.

It is around this time backstage on a music show that they have their second direct interaction.

He sees her walking hastily past his dressing room, and before he can stop himself, he charges out, grabbing her hand. Jolts of electricity mingle with their warm palms as Soojung gasps at the gesture. She squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself not to succumb to this, and wrenches her hand away from his grasp. She glares at him, giving him her signature icy look. He merely stares back, his gaze just as intense.

“You better stop this before you regret it,” Soojung warns him sternly.

Jongin does not bat an eyelash. “I won’t regret it,” his deep voice deadpans.

She slaps him on the cheek harshly, leaving a red mark on him. His hand flies up to his face, his eyes narrowing into slits. He glowers as he watches her walk briskly away, her beautiful brown locks mocking his injury.

As her walk turns into a breathless jog, she feels her breathing constrict as she clutches the hand that slapped him, unable to believe what she has just done. She is tired of acting with a cold facade, she is tired of it all. I hate you, she spats in contempt. I hate you for making me do this.

If there is one thing to know about Jongin besides that he has an adorably deep voice, good-looking features, and a flawless dance style, it is the fact that he is persistent. It’s not that he is in denial (at least he tells himself that), it’s just that once he sets his mind to something, he will accomplish it. So although he is slightly fazed, he sets his jaw in determination, having fueled his fire even more.

And when fires are fed with more oil, more gas, and more wood, they are unstoppable until they are pacified by a bucket of refreshing ice cold water.

A week later, it seems as if Soojung is going through some kind of crisis, shown by the way she paces back and forth and her sudden disappearances to the bathroom. Jongin furrows his eyebrows in worry. One afternoon he passes by a closet in the SM building and is surprised to hear familiar sniffles from inside. Cautiously, he peeks in.

“Go away,” Soojung mutters, her head still on her knees.

Jongin doesn’t listen and instead settles down next to her, bringing his own knees up to his chest. As she continues to make muffled cries, his heart scrunches up at her pain. Then suddenly having an idea, he taps her shoulder lightly, saying, “I’ll be right back, stay here, okay?”

She nods through her tangled hair while Jongin sprints out. Minutes later, he arrives back, panting, while shoving a sweater into her hands. Her eyes widening in recognition, her hands tighten onto the garment as she looks up at him with a mixture of gratitude and awe. She feels the barriers that she had put up between them disintegrating, breaking down more and more underneath his familiar gaze.

“Don’t cry anymore, Soojung-ah,” he murmurs, giving her a little smile. “I need to get going now... keep the sweater.”

She nods as he exits the closet room, leaving her in darkness once again. She hugs the sweater to her chest, breathing in his scent as if she could never get enough of it. You see, this sweater has some weighty significance to the both of them. Whenever they would be down, the other would give the sweater for them to wear as a sign of comfort.

He still had this...? She thinks amazedly. And she swears that now that she has the sweater, she instantly feels better. So she is thankful.

Jongin smiles as he leaves her with the sweater. He had always kept it, even after she had broken up with him. He had cherished that sweater like no other, a painful yet beautiful reminder of their time together. He had made sure that it was in good shape, but he never wore it anymore. He merely just kept it in the back of his closet, waiting for the day that he can give it back to her and say the words that he never got to say.


The next time he sees her, he has to have a double-take when he sees her wearing the sweater in public. She looks gorgeous underneath the big folds of the over-sized garment. The elegance of her figure is highlighted with the flattering skinny jeans that she wears with it. She is beautiful. An overwhelming joy bubbles up from inside of him, high hopes carried along with it. He wonders whether this is a sign of reconciliation and of acceptance.

He gets her answer when they find themselves alone in a back room later that day.

“Soojung-ah, you’re wearing that sweater,” he remarks, noticing her beam at him. He grins back, faintly registering that this is the first time she has smiled at him in ages.

“I know,” is her matter-of-fact answer.

They look at each other in silence, this time not with surmounting tension but with comfortable relief. Then, as if almost in sync, their bodies collide, fitting perfectly like puzzle pieces as Jongin’s strong arms wrap tightly around her figure and her chin rests in the crook of his shoulder. They stay there for a few lingering minutes, just breathing in the aroma of a rediscovered long-lost love and the scent of happiness.

“I’ve waited so long to get here, Soojung,” Jongin murmurs into her ear, sending puffs of hot breath on her skin.

She shivers, saying, “I know, Jongin-ah... I’m sorry.” You've finally made it.

“I wanted to say so much to you all these years. All the things that I should’ve said before you left. That you are irreplaceable, that I miss you, that I...”

Her heart swells with so much adoration, so much love, for the young man embracing her. “...Will you forgive me?”

His hand moves to caress her soft tresses of hair. “Yes, I already did.”

She breaks away, giving him the biggest smile he has ever seen. “Good.”

He chuckles. “See? My Soojung does know how to smile! You didn’t change one bit,” he jokes in relief.

And he decides that he is finally a star. It is not being on stage with the spotlight on him that makes him one, rather it is being with the one he loves in a back room with no audience to watch. He had always dreamt of the day he would finally catch up with her, to be both at the top of the world. And they are, because when two stars join in perfect alignment in the sky, a beautiful constellation forms, there for all humanity to see and enjoy. The unquenchable raging fire that had been burning within him has finally been tamed by a soft spray of ice cold water. Alas, the fire keeps going, because this passion is what keeps them both surviving in this world, so that they will not be burnt-out stars anymore.

Together, they will light up the night sky like no other.

Author's Note: Hey there! I hope you liked this one-shot. I've taken a liking to Kaistal since they're both in the 94`line and are both super duper talented. Not to mention they are both beautiful people and would look even more beautiful together :') They may be a crackship right now, but I believe that soon enough, there will be legit interactions and I'll squeal and cry with joy ;_; <3 I plan to write more on this pairing one day, so please look out for me in the future! Add me ;) Comments are appreciated~