Minho confessed to Taemin on a hot summer day, in a field full of flowers.

“Yah, Taemin-ah, come here for a minute, will you?” Minho was perched on a bench, chuckling at the sight of his friend frolicking around for no apparent reason. If you asked him, he would have said something along the lines of Taemin being too old to frolic— but that’s a story for another time.

“But hyung~” the younger whined, “I want to play! We rarely come here and it’s my favorite place! Even you know that.” Taemin pouted.

For once Minho managed to resist that pout. “Just come here, I need to tell you something.”

“But—”

“Please?”

“…Fine.” The same could be said for Taemin; he couldn’t resist his hyung’s pout either.

Minho patted the empty wood next to him. “Sit down, Tae.”

Taemin huffed but sat obediently, staring at Minho with wide, trusting eyes. Ones that could make [insert name of beautiful woman of choice here] jealous.

“Taemin-ah…”

“Hyung, hurry up and tell me what you want already! I still want to play, you know!” Even so, Taemin was peering up at his hyung apprehensively, struggling to decode the complicated mess of emotions entangled in Minho’s eyes.

“Taemin-ah… can I try something?”

“Pfft! Why are you asking me? If you want to try something, go ahead! What does it have to do with me anyway? I’ll just watch from here. I mean, whatever you wanna try, it ought to be funny, right?” Taemin gave up, clueless. And rather fearful for his life, so to speak.

“…” was Minho’s ridiculously eloquent response.

“Right, hyung?”

“…”

“RIGHT?”

“…”

“Um… Hyung?”

Minho decided it would be much less time-and-effort-consuming if he quit attempting to form words out of thin air and just actuated what he’d wanted to do ever since… ever.

So Minho leaned down and ghosted his lips – just slightly – over the younger boy’s, effectively leaving the poor boy in a state of what seemed like confusion mixed with confusion. Oh, and don’t forget to add another dash of confusion.

“H-hyung? W-What was that?”

“Taemin-ah… I think I love you.” Minho had torn his intense gaze away from Taemin, but he retrained them onto the flawless face of his friend now, waiting for his response.

The younger looked away, and Minho felt his heart drop.

“Hyung… I can’t promise anything. I can’t promise I’ll definitely fall for you or that I’ll love you tomorrow or something. But if possible… I want to ask for a favor. I know I have absolutely no right to do this—” (Minho tried to interrupt here, but Taemin just plowed on) “—but I want to know if you can promise me that you’ll wait for me. Because I know I have never been closer to anyone else, but I can’t figure out my feelings at the moment. So just… wait for me? If you do, I promise to let you know if I ever do fall for you… or if I don’t.” Taemin sounded much too old for his years.

“Of course I will. I’ll wait forever for you, I promise.” No, Minho was not hasty in making this promise. He knew he would love Taemin forever, so there was really no point in complicating things. Besides, they were both confused enough for the time being.

Taemin’s intent gaze on Minho’s own visage allowed a naughty smile to grace his perfect lips.

“Kiss me again, hyung?”

Taemin confessed to Minho on the coldest day of the year, the Winter Solstice.

Taemin and Minho were cuddling on the couch after a long day, sipping hot cocoa and entwined in each other’s embrace. It was only right; after all, the temperature inside was probably colder than Antarctica, even given that the somewhat expensive heater they had installed not too long ago was constantly spewing out hot air that would most likely burn the sun.

“Taemin-ah, are you cold?”

“Of course not, hyung!” Taemin was quick to reassure Minho. He knew that the older boy had something of an obsession with protecting him, usually to the point of overdoing it.

“Well… if you’re cold, you can tell me, you know. It’s not like a crime or something.” Minho turned to Taemin and gave him one of his freaky flaming smiles that he reserved especially for Taemin, and Taemin immediately felt a lot warmer.

“Of course I know,” Taemin smiled back, his heart beating significantly faster and his tummy doing funny flip-flops that sometimes left him breathless.

“Aigoo, Taemin-ah, you’re so cute that it should be illegal!”

“Yah!” Taemin pouted cutely, though he couldn’t help but feel his cheeks warm up at the… compliment?

Minho laughed, leaning down and kissing that adorable pout away. It was just a peck that they shared on a regular basis, but Taemin felt that something was different this time. Or so he thought.

“Hyung~ Stop taking advantage of me!”

“Sorry Taemin-ah, you’re too cute for me to resist.” Minho gave Taemin one last endearing smile before extracting himself from Taemin’s (rather possessive) arms and going to refill his cocoa.

Taemin shivered when he felt the cold air hit him. Minho noticed, and paused on his way to the kitchen.

“Yah, Taemin, are you cold? Should we go upstairs and warm you up?” Taemin was absolutely positive that if he looked up now, he would see a naughty smirk engraved on his hyung’s face. But it wasn’t as if he minded.

“N-no, I’m f-fine.” It was really too bad that the chattering of Taemin’s teeth gave him away.

Minho took a quick detour to the sink to dispose of their mugs, and came back to Taemin, who was actually freezing to death.

“Come on, Tae-Tae, let’s get you upstairs.”

“Hyung, you’re so bossy, sometimes I don’t even know why I love you so much!!”

Minho came to a halt in front of the stairs, slowly making awkward eye contact with Taemin. “W-what did you just say?”

Taemin finally realized his mistake and blushed crimson, jamming his face into Minho’s chest and hoping that the last five minutes was only a dream.

“No, Taemin-ah, let me see your beautiful face.” Taemin only blushed harder, but removed his face from Minho’s shirt.

“Now, what was that you said?”

“I… I love you, hyung.” And then Minho let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

“Finally… finally, after all this time… you don’t know how happy I am, Taemin-ah, I love you so much.”

“I love you too hyung I love you I love you I love you…”

Minho dragged the happily chanting boy upstairs.

If you think that should have been a significant factor in their relationship, you’re probably right.

Lately, Minho and Taemin had made a habit of cuddling on that one couch. It was a kind of constant in their lives, one that they could survive without, but were content with. Besides, they loved the place. Sometimes it was used as a… bed. And other times, they would just sit there and talk about their lives, and honestly, both boys were thinking the same thing: “How did I ever survive before meeting you?”

One day, after another ridiculously tedious day, they were cuddling again. Taemin decided this was a great moment to inquire something that had been hanging on his mind for a while now.

“Hyung, why did we confess at such… opposite times?”

“What do you mean, baby?” Taemin blushed at the endearment; he seemed to be blushing a ton these days, while Minho was never fazed.

“Like… well, you confessed to me… do you remember that day? That was probably the scariest day of my life,” Taemin chuckled good-heartedly.

“Yah! I’ll have you know that it took so much guts to confess, you know! You were so innocent that I didn’t even know how to go about it. And then when you turned away, I swear that was the scariest moment of my life!” Taemin then burst into full-on laughter, guffawing so hard he thought he would throw up.

“Hyung… I always loved you, I guess I just didn’t realize that sooner,” Taemin confirmed to a bewildered Minho after he caught most of his breath back.

“Yah! So you led me on?! Taemin, I will never forgive you!” Minho proceeded to tickle Taemin where he was most sensitive, and he broke out into giggles again.

After what seemed like an eternity, they stopped, and Taemin’s curiosity returned.

“Hyung, you never answered my question!” Taemin exclaimed.

“Wha— oh. Well, Taemin-ah, haven’t you ever heard of the saying about opposites attracting? Like, you know, magnets.”

“Umm…”

“Okay well it’s kind of unexplainable then…”

“Hyung~” Taemin whined. He wasn’t letting Minho evade this question.

“Well think of it this way, then. Why do you love me?” A quirky smile hung on his face.

“Because—…” Taemin started out confident, but he quickly began to falter. Why did he love Minho anyway?

“See what I mean, Tae-Tae? Love doesn’t need a reason, it just is. Either it’s there or it’s not, and once it is, you can’t do anything to make it go away.”

Taemin stared at Minho, all traces of mirth gone from his face. Minho had a faraway look in his eyes, and Taemin began to wonder if Minho was speaking from experience.

“Sorry… I guess I was just lost in my own thoughts for a bit there. Come on, I’ll make you some hot chocolate, and let’s go study, okay?”

Taemin wanted to ask what Minho had been thinking about, but Minho wasn’t one to go into detail about anything, really.

“Tae?”

“Sorry hyung.” Taemin smiled slightly and scampered upstairs, a very puzzled (and ) Choi Minho hot on his heels.

Minho left Taemin the day before Christmas.

 “Taemin-ah… I’m sorry…”

“NO!! HYUNG!!”

“You know I don’t want to…”

“Then don’t! You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to!! Isn’t that what you told me every day?”

“I have no choice. I’m so sorry, Taemin-ah… I love you and I always will, but this is something I have to do. I love you Taemin, please find it in you to forgive me one day and find happiness without me, okay?”

“NOOO!! Hyung… you… why?!?” Taemin slumped to the floor of his living room, clawing and clutching at his answering machine. He had gone out for grocery shopping (not telling Minho that he was also going to shop for a Christmas present for him), humming happily as he strolled through the aisles at a leisurely pace. Of course, probably half the store mistook him for a girl and tried to hit on him, while the other half (which was obviously mostly female) was disgusted at how a boy could be prettier than the greater lot of them.

Then again, that couldn’t even begin to compare to the disaster that had decided to befall him on this day. When Taemin had gotten home, the first thing he noticed was that the house was squeaky clean, almost to the point of insanity (much like Taemin himself was now). He flagged that as suspicious, though he was in too much of a content mood to really think everything through. All he had wanted to do was to run into Minho’s arms; after all, shopping was a tiring thing.

The unnerving silence and the pristine furniture, void of all miniscule specks of dust. And that was when the blinking red light on the answering machine caught Taemin’s sharp eye.

And it all just kinda went downhill from there.

Taemin more or less crawled to the couch, sobbing and hugging a plastic bag close to his chest. He then remembered the purpose of the plastic bad he had in his arms, and decided to put his tears on hold for a bit. Just until he could get some words out.

“Minho… you said you would never leave me, so why? And why the day before Christmas? Hyung, sometimes I just don’t understand the way you think, and yet… yet I can’t help but still love you. See, look Minho, I even got you a Christmas present; I know you would have loved it. I just wish… that I could give it to you. In any way possible, I just…” Taemin found himself choked up again, unable to continue his heartfelt speech. He collapsed back on the couch and placed the trinket he had gotten Minho, which was a rather intricate little music box that played one of Minho’s favorite songs, on the small coffee table next to the couch.

“Taemin… stay strong, you can do this.” As Taemin chanted the mantra over and over again in his head, he soon fell asleep.

He didn’t notice the body of someone familiar right outside his window.

When Taemin woke up, he was still in a cramped position on the couch. He got up and stretched his sore limbs, but froze when he realized that some things were different than from what he recalled was there when he had fallen asleep a while ago.

First, he was almost positive that there had most definitely not had a blanket on him when he crashed on the couch.

Second, the music box he had gotten for Minho was nowhere to be found.

And third, there was a hackneyed white envelope lying in its place. On it was a simple name in blue ink, written with care.

Taemin moved to the table and picked up the envelope, internally telling himself that it was probably some robber who was stupid enough to give him details about how to find his music box. It was too much to hope for it to be Minho, anyway.

Taemin ruthlessly ripped open the envelope and drew out a sheet of notebook paper, in which he could make out words. As he was still a rational human being, it really couldn’t have been anything other than a letter. And Taemin would recognize that handwriting anywhere.

Dear Taemin-ah,

I’m assuming you got my message? I’m so so sorry, Taemin-ah, you don’t even know how sorry I am. I most definitely shouldn’t be doing this, but I wanted to see you one last time, the love of my life. If it were under any other circumstances, I would never let you go that easily. But trust me, Taemin-ah, this is for your own good. I promise… that I will always love you no matter what. I know you aren’t inclined to believe me, but I can’t change that anymore, can I? Please, Taemin, I just want you to be happy. And thank you, thank you so much for the music box, I love it so much. I’m going to keep it forever as a reminder of you. And once again… I’m sorry and I love you. Merry Christmas? Baby, go take a look in your refrigerator, I left you a little Christmas present as well. I hope you like it. I love you, Taemin-ah. Please forgive me, and take care of yourself.”

~Minho

Taemin could not believe his eyes. Minho was here?? Taemin ran to the window, but all he could make out was nature as far as the eye could see. Then he remembered the bit about Minho leaving him a Christmas present.

Taemin rushed to the kitchen and yanked open the door to his fridge.

It was a rather large understatement to say that he was surprised. There, staring back at him (and threatening to suffocate him, for that matter), was literally a fridge-full of banana milk.

Taemin smiled, chuckling silently at Minho’s antics, in spite of his tears. 

Taemin decided to let go and move on a day after his birthday.

“Ugh… I can’t believe I did that. The Taemin I was before would never have done something so stupid…” Taemin sat up in bed, groaning in pain as he tried and failed to recall what had happened the night before. While numerous parts of his body were busy complaining and squeaking, the only thing he could remember was that yesterday was his birthday and he had decided to go to a club to celebrate the fact that he was finally legal. A club, of all places! And now Taemin was sick in bed with a hangover, a day after his birthday.

Really, all Taemin wanted to do right now was burrow into someone’s arms and sleep for a decade or so. Besides, said someone didn’t even have to be Minho; it could be some stranger who wouldn’t kill him, for all he cared.

Because, of course, Taemin had finally decided to let go of Minho. What was there to mope about when you know the love of your life won’t return ever again, anyway?

His frail body still squeaking with protests (a condition that had Taemin wondering if he should start going to the gym on a daily basis), Taemin pushed himself off the bed and went to take a hot shower. Unfortunately, on the way there, he caught sight of a picture of himself and Minho, taken on that fateful day when Minho confessed and something beautiful had sprouted between them.

Needless to say, Taemin stayed in bed the whole day.

Letting go of Minho was going to be harder thought than done, but he would do it. After all, Taemin could do anything he set his mind to.

Or so he thought.

A couple years later, Minho returns to Taemin, intentions unknown.

“TAEMIN-AH!!! SOMEONE’S HERE TO SEE YOU!!”

“WHO IS IT, UMMA?”

“I HAVE NO CLUE, BUT HE’S KIND OF CUTE!! HURRY UP AND GET DOWN HERE!!”

Taemin multitasked as he tried to placate his umma’s screams while simultaneously scribbling down answers to his latest set of algebra problems. In the few years that followed Minho leaving, Taemin had actually found friends who took care of him in exchange for a roof over their heads. They were wonderful people, though Taemin had to admit, both of them were really odd. And, of course, they were gay.

One was Key, who was currently yelling and screaming at Taemin to get his cute downstairs and greet their visitor. Key was the one who Taemin called umma, who nursed him through his post-breakup phase (Taemin didn’t dare tell Key who it was for fear that Key would use his super-sharp hunting skills to track Minho down and cut off his balls and feed it to the coyotes) and sang him to sleep and made him his favorite food every day. Jonghyun was Taemin’s so-called appa, who made sure no one would ever hurt his poor baby again. Taemin felt he was the luckiest boy in the world to have Key and Jonghyun in his life, and so therefore, who needs Minho?

“COMING, UMMA!!”

Taemin took the stairs nearly four at a time, barely able to make it all the way before tripping and faceplanting in front of their visitor (which is quite embarrassing, by the way). All the while, Taemin was so busy wondering who in the hell the visitor could be that he didn’t even notice the stairs had ended until he plowed straight into a rock-hard chest (that felt like it definitely came with pecs) and smelled an overwhelmingly familiar scent.

And heard a deep, y, endearingly familiar voice say, “Hello again, Taemin.”

“M-Minho hyung?!” Taemin felt a exhilarating sensation run down his spine, but pretended it was from fear of seeing Minho again and pushed it away.

“Oh, you guys know each other? Well then, I better leave you two alone. Later, Tae. And I’ll see you later, y.” Key winked at Minho, but Jonghyun chose that time to barge in and unfortunately caught Key in the act.

“Oh Key, you are so going to get it now,” Jonghyun actually growled. And to Taemin, Jonghyun was the gentlest person in the world.

“N-no, Jjong! It’s not what it looks— AHHH!! Oh god, here we go again…” Key struggled as he was dragged away, but Jonghyun was stronger.

“Get ready, you’re about to hear some crazy screaming and throughout this house…” Taemin muttered, more to himself than Minho, but the latter heard anyway.

“Yeah, well, it’s pretty much what happens in everyday life.” Minho quirked a smile, but Taemin only threw him a death glare before crossing his arms and turning away.

“Don’t talk to me.”

If Taemin had turned around at that moment, he would have noticed Minho on the verge of tears.

For possibly the first time in his life, Minho loses his patience with Taemin.

“Taemin-ah…”

“I said don’t talk to me!”

“Look, I just want to explain—”

“And I don’t want to hear it. Please leave, Minho hyung.”

“It’s not what you think it is…”

“I DON’T CARE!! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE??”

“Because I love you, Taemin-ah, and I will no matter what you say or think. So just let me talk. You don’t have to talk. Hell, you don’t even have to listen! Just sit down and let me pour my thoughts out, because if I don’t, then I’m going to freaking explode.”

“Why don’t you just go talk to a wall instead, then?!”

“Because I really want you to hear this…”

“Didn’t you just say I didn’t have to listen if I didn’t want to? I wasn’t planning to listen to your annoying voice in my ear anyway.”

“MY GOD, JUST LISTEN, WON’T YOU?? FINE, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE ME THEN, ALRIGHT?? JUST GODDAMN LISTEN TO ME AND LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF!!”

Taemin was speechless and taken aback, for once thankful that Jonghyun was keeping his umma busy so that Key wouldn’t be running to his rescue right now.

“Fine. Talk. But I’m not promising anything.”

Taemin felt himself ready to cry as he remembered that fateful day.

Minho tells Taemin his story…

“You remember that day you went shopping, right? Well as soon as you left, I got to work making lunch because I knew how much you loved it when I cooked for you. But about an hour after you left, I got a phone call – it was on my cell phone so that’s why you didn’t see it. It was my umma, and she had been trying to reach me for the past week or so but because my phone was broken she wasn’t able to call me, and that was a day after I got my phone repaired. So my umma told me that I wasn’t very successful here, so she had purchased a plane ticket to send me back to her hometown to live with her. In addition, she also notified me that she had found a wonderful woman by the name of Yuri whom I was supposed to marry. Now, Taemin-ah, you must understand something. A long time ago, when I was in middle school, I realized I was gay and I told my umma about it. At that time she accepted it, because we were super close and she got me everything I ever wanted, but as I grew older and went to more diverse schools, she started to believe that being gay was wrong because no one else was gay. She never told me, but that was when she had started to look for potential brides for me. To this day, I still love you and only you. But Taemin, if you knew my umma…”

The only emotion Minho could decipher on Taemin’s beautiful face was disbelief.

Excuses, excuses. Taemin doesn’t wanna hear it.

“T-that’s it?”

“That’s the gist of it,” Minho confirmed.

“So what’s the point of telling me if you’re not here to take me back?”

“You mean you would come with me?”

“Not in a million years,” Taemin said with conviction and no hesitation at all, though he couldn’t deny that deep inside him somewhere, he had been hoping for exactly that.

Minho’s face fell. “Well, I just wanted you to know so that maybe you’ll be able to forgive me one day…”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Minho hyung, I had already forgiven you. The fact that you bothered to come here just to shove your face into my life again cancels out all of the prior forgiveness. Now you’ll have to earn it again. And this time, hyung, do it right.”

To Minho, Taemin sounded strong and independent, like he was able to take on the world by himself now.

Minho allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smile at that. As long as Taemin was happy, Minho would learn to forgive and forget.

Minho leaves, with a silent promise never to return again.

“Well, that’s all, Taemin; I’m sorry. Take care of yourself, neh? I’ll be going now.”

“I’ll show you to the door.”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

The unspoken was there: This is a final goodbye. We will never meet again.

But neither acknowledged it. Deep in both of their hearts was a primal hope that they would meet again.

“Goodbye, Minho hyung.”

“Goodbye, Taemin-ah.”

The moment Minho disappeared out of his life for what he assumed was forever, Taemin crumpled down on the floor, back against the door.

He cried. And cried and cried and cried. All the resolve he had built up over the years had dissipated in that one conversation with Minho.

And that’s where a limping, half- Key found him a few hours later, in a fitful slumber.

A couple more years later, Minho becomes a renowned singer. He settles down, gets married, adopts a-freaking-dorable little kids.

“Minho-yah!! Where are the kids??”

“They’re in the backyard playing tag, why?”

“Yah! Hurry up and tell them to go change, they have to go to dance class and you have to get to the studio to rehearse!”

“Yuri-yah, stop worrying! We leave in an hour, we’ll have enough time.”

“B-but…”

Minho walked over to his wife and ruffled her hair, earning a yelp and hands swatting his own away, in which those hands proceeded to retie her messed-up hair.

“Don’t worry, Yuri, I’ve got the kids. You go have fun, alright?”

“…Thanks. You’re the best~”

Minho smiled sadly in fond remembrance and whispered, “No problem…”

Taemin hears the news through, well, the news.

Taemin was home alone, for once. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday, so he had absolutely nothing to do. Key and Jonghyun were on a date at who-knows-where (Taemin guessed it was a hotel; where else could those freaks go, anyway??), and Taemin had cleared all the banana milk in their fridge about two hours ago. He really didn’t want to leave the house, so he just decided to watch TV. Seriously, there was nothing else to do. Taemin wasn’t an avid fan of .

Taemin switched on the TV with the intention of watching some cartoons, but before he could change the channel, he saw a picture of Minho on the screen. And by the looks of it, it was a news channel and the Minho on the TV was… talking?

“Yes yes… I have a new album coming out next month… No I’m sorry but I cannot tell you anything about it yet… Of course you have to buy it! It’s the best one yet!” Minho then flashed his killer grin before the reporter, who was wearing a… shirt that really couldn’t be called a shirt and jeans that had so many holes it couldn’t possibly be a garment, asked him another unheard question.

Minho winked this time, and replied, “Yes, of course I’ll have a world tour! And don’t worry, I’ll go everywhere~” The reporter looked as if she were about to faint. She batted her long, obviously-fake eyelashes as Minho and was about to ask him another irrelevant question when suddenly a pretty woman appeared beside Minho.

“Oh! Everyone say hello to my beautiful wife, Yuri!”

This time the reporter just flushed red and looked like she could kill. She snatched the microphone away from Minho and did her camwhore thing again, waving her hands and frantically yelling, “Moving on now!”

Taemin switched off the TV and glumly climbed upstairs. He seriously had debated suicide for a moment there.

What happened to Minho being gay? Was it all a joke?

Did Minho… really not love him anymore?

For some reason, even though it had been Taemin who turned Minho down, he could not fathom Minho with anyone else. Call him greedy and selfish, but Minho was his and his alone.

He finds it really weird that he doesn’t feel anything at all. But then again, he was a masochist to the core.

“Taemin-ah! We’re home!!”

“Appa! Did you buy me banana milk??!”

“Of course, Taemin-ah.” Jonghyun set down his bags of groceries and ruffled Taemin’s hair.

“Where’s umma?”

“He’ll be here in a second. You know your umma, him and his fashion . Why?”

“Oh… no reason. I’ll just be upstairs finishing my homework, okay?”

“That’s a good boy, Taemin.”

Taemin trudged upstairs and stood at his doorway. The first thing he laid eyes on was the lone photograph he had of Minho. Honestly, he was surprised he hadn’t thrown it away yet, but every time he tried, it didn’t work. He just couldn’t bring himself to fully let go of Minho.

He walked across his room and picked up the frame, smoothing the glass with his fingertips. He ran his hand across the perfect contours of Minho’s face, remembering every detail as if it were yesterday.

If you were to ask Taemin what he would name this picture, he would reply with one word and absolute certainty. This picture was the epitome, the embodiment of rapture, of ecstacy. Of jubilance and youth. This one picture held so much emotion that Taemin would always feel ecstatic when he saw it.

But now, he felt nothing. Even if he sobbed his heart out over this photograph, he still felt nothing. It could have been because he missed Minho, as many would interpret it, but that wasn’t true.

He sobbed because there was nothing he wanted more than to feel traces of emotion. Taemin only wanted to feel again, to feel something other than… nothing.

He had no idea why this picture, this piece of paper with ink on it, was so important to him. All he knew was that if he wasn’t able to see this picture again, he would be lost. Because Minho was his guide, his stepping stone. Even if he lived and loved again, he would never forget someone like Minho. Maybe it was just because he was such a hardcore masochist that he needed pain like this to keep him going, but…

The impact some people have on others just never goes away sometimes.

Because as long as what’s-his-face had his heart, he was okay.

“Yah, Taemin-ah, I’ve been calling for you for over five minutes. Are you okay?”

Taemin snapped to his senses. “N-neh, appa, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine… maybe you’re sick?” Jonghyun, ever the caring appa, moved closer to Taemin and felt his forehead, but Taemin’s temperature was fairly normal.

“A-ani, appa, I’m fine, don’t worry about me. What were you calling for me about?” Taemin tried a weak smile, but it came out as a rather strong grimace.

“Taemin-ah…” Jonghyun walked over to Taemin’s nightstand and picked up his framed picture of Minho. “You’ve been fiddling with this again, haven’t you?”

Taemin sighed; his appa really knew him too well. “Yeah…”

To his surprise, Jonghyun only smiled softly. “You know, Taemin-ah, I know exactly how you feel. Okay, maybe not exactly, but I am aware of what you’re going through at least, and I know how hard it is. Trust me, Taemin, I’ve had to go through it before too.”

“With umma?”

Jonghyun’s smile turned bashful. “Neh, Taemin, with Key umma.”

Unbeknownst to Taemin, his excitement grew. “Ooh, appa, tell me about it!”

Jonghyun laughed and ruffled Taemin’s hair again. “Maybe another day, neh? For now, do you think you should talk to a counselor or a therapist? Maybe they’ll be able to help…”

“It’s fine, appa! I keep the picture of Minho near me so that I can grow stronger, so that maybe every time I see him I won’t break down immediately anymore. Trust me, appa, I can do this.”

“Alright, but you should at least talk to umma about this, okay?”

“Arasso, appa.”

“I love you, Taemin-ah, and I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thanks appa… I love you too~”

Taemin admits his masochism to Key umma.

“Uhh… umma?”

“One second, Taemin, I’ll be right there.”

Taemin had gathered up all his remaining pride and confidence and finally cornered Key. He didn’t know how this would help, but Key umma deserved to know.

“Alright, baby, what’s up?”

“Umm… Key umma…”

“Uh oh… whenever you call me Key umma I have a feeling like something bad’s gonna happen…” Key said jokingly, but his eyes were serious and Taemin didn’t smile.

“Umma, I think… well I’m not absolutely sure yet, but I think you have a right to know. I haven’t actually gotten over Minho hyung yet… And appa told me to talk to you because you always have the best advice… But I’m actually not sure if I actually want to get over Minho or not… Cause I feel like if I do then it’ll just hurt more or something and… oh I don’t know! Umma, help me~”

Instead of spewing out oh-so-ridiculous but also extremely helpful bits of advice, Key just gaped at his son. Did Taemin really just admit that he was a masochist?

Oh no. Key was not going to let this go that easily. At this point, Key probably had a feral animal look on his face, bared teeth and company, because Taemin was positively shivering with fright. Key forced himself to relax slightly before replying with clenched teeth to the poor, terrified boy.

“Just wait a while, Taemin, I’m going to talk with your appa about this, okay? Go get some sleep now.”

“A-arasso, umma…” Taemin had never ascended the stairs faster in his life.

Which may or may not have been the best idea…

When Taemin had finally fallen fast asleep, Jonghyun and Key also went to bed. When they were settled and properly entangled in each other’s bodies (and Jonghyun had almost fallen asleep), Key broke the reigning silence.

“Jjong, we need to do something.”

“Key, please…”

“NO, Jjong, don’t ‘please’ me. I can’t let our son go on like this. Don’t you know about it? He’s a masochist. THAT MEANS HE LIKES PAIN. Jjong, I am not about to let our son start hurting himself.”

Jonghyun sighed, knowing that this was one argument he would never win. Key could bicker for months and not get tired. “Remind me never to get into an argument with you again, baby.” Jonghyun kissed the top of Key’s head, and Key smirked, knowing he had won again and thanking the gods that Jonghyun was agreeable.

“So what’s your plan?” Jonghyun wasn’t trying to goad Key or anything, but he knew that Key would never let him sleep until he got all this thoughts across.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Key smirked again, and proceeded to outline his plan-that-wasn’t-really-a-plan to Jonghyun. The latter listened with an expression of distaste.

“Kim Kibum, that is the craziest idea ever and it’s never going to work! Are you trying to kill Minho or something?”

Key exhaled and puffed out his cheeks, a habit which Jonghyun found oddly endearing (and nonetheless adorable). “I just want to knock some sense into that guy…”

“Okay fine, but no physical action, alright? Promise me.”

“Only if you let me have some ‘physical action’ with you tonight,” Key snickered.

Jonghyun appa, your wife is always right. If he isn’t, refer to first statement.

“Come on, Jjong, hurry, you’re so slow!!” Key whispered in harsh tones, ushering Jonghyun out the door.

“Yah, this wasn’t my idea, and I still think it’s sketchy!”

“I don’t give a damn, Jjong, now get your fat moving!”

“Fine, but you better be glad Taemin is a heavy sleeper. And you’ll owe me big time for this.”

“JJONG. WATCH. THE. ROAD.”

“I can’t help it, Key, you’re too y.”

Key just sighed. He loved Jonghyun, but he swore that the dino could be the most hardheaded person in the world.

“Yah! You missed the turn over there!” Key frantically gesticulated to Jonghyun trying to get him to backtrack, but unfortunately, that was not possible on a highway…

“Aish, don’t worry, baby. We can always take the next turn, neh?”

Key huffed and crossed his arms, but shut up. Jonghyun brought one hand off the steering wheel to rub at Key’s back, kneading all the knots of tension that had formed from worrying about their son’s messed up love life. Which even Jonghyun had to admit was pretty messed up.

“Yah, Jjong, you missed the turn again! Aish, next time I’m just going to go by myself!!”

“There’s going to be a next time? When? When I divorce you?” Jonghyun smirked and tilted his face towards Key, who was barely restraining a tantrum.

Just then, he felt something jar the car, and he slammed down the brakes. “!”

“Jjong, don’t worry, it’s probably just a deer or something.” But Key was trembling.

“A DEER?? KIM KIBUM, DEERS DO NOT VENTURE RANDOMLY ONTO HIGHWAYS, ESPECIALLY NOT HERE!!! GET OUT THERE AND SEE WHAT IN THE HELL OF HELLS THAT WAS, RIGHT NOW!!”

Key was too traumatized to do anything else, so he slowly climbed out of the car and went to kneel down in front, trying to figure out what it was that they (read: Jonghyun) had hit. Jonghyun did likewise, slamming his own door and furiously punching nicely hitting the hood of the car. He was about to go to Key to see who or what it was when…

“Jjong, I think you should call an ambulance… It’s Minho.”

Help? Key, you can’t even help yourself!

“T-Taemin-ah…”

“Umma! What’s wrong? Where are you and appa?”

“Ah… Taemin-ah, we’re at the hospital…”

“BWOH??” As soon as Taemin heard that dreaded word “hospital”, his brain went into overdrive. Could it be Minho? Then he immediately plucked that thought out of his head, feeling extremely guilty that the first person he thought of was Minho and not Jonghyun. For all he knew, it could be his beloved appa.

“Taemin-ah?”

“Neh, umma.”

“Could you… come here please? The hospital isn’t that far away…”

“Umma! Is appa hurt?”

“Ani… just come quickly, please. Do you know the directions?” Taemin breathed out half a sigh of relief that at least one person important to him wasn't hurt, but then again, there was still Minho...

“Not really…”

“Alright… here.” Taemin hurriedly snatched a stray piece of paper and a pen as he attempted to record down verbatim what Key was currently rattling out, which proved to be easier said than done as Taemin had to ask Key about ten times before he could get the whole thing. And Key did not like to repeat himself, so each time was punctuated with a sigh and/or a scream.

“Hurry, Taemin.”

“I will, hang on.” Taemin hung up and rushed out the door, only to find the car gone.

“Yah, umma, you took the car too? Aish…”

What to do, what to do, when faced with the wrath of Taemin?

“Umma, I’m here!” Taemin nearly yelled as he ran speed-walked through the hospital, almost tripping over the abundance of nurses who were eyeing him, half-attracted and half-disgusted.

“Yah, Taemin-ah, over here!” Taemin noticed a teary Key sitting on a bench in the waiting room, more or less clinging to Jonghyun. Heran speed-walked over and gave his umma a brief hug.

“Umma, what happened?” Taemin tried to press Key for details, but Key only shied away and nestled back into Jonghyun, prodding him in the process and conveying pleading with his puppy eyes to spare him the task of having to tell their son that they probably killed the love of his life. Even if said love of his life deserved it.

Jonghyun sighed and started his explanation, mentally calling his wife the biggest chicken in the world. “Taemin-ah, your umma wanted to go find Minho today so that he could beat some sense into him because seeing you upset like that really hurt him, but apparently he’s not the best at directions…” Jonghyun tried to decipher the look on Taemin’s face, but failed by a long shot. So he just kept talking. “And so we missed this turn on this one highway, and I looked away for just a second because really, no sane human walks on a highway. But then I felt something hit the front of the car… and the rest is history. So umm… yeah, pretty much, Minho’s in the emergency room right—”

Right on cue, the sliding doors below the blaring red “emergency” sign opened, and a young doctor with splotches of blood all over his once-pristine lab coat came trudging out.

Taemin, who had been rendered immobile and speechless all throughout Jonghyun’s recount, snapped to attention and ran (yes, this time he actually ran) to the doctor, stopping just millimeters away from him. “How is he?”

The doctor shifted his line of sight from Taemin to some point on the wall behind him, pressing his mouth into a tight line. He was almost too afraid to answer, for the boy standing in front of him… was nothing but a boy, really, almost too innocent, and he truly didn’t want him to be haunted for the rest of his life.

His gulp was visible, stressed by his Adam’s apple. “Little boy, let me talk to your… parents first, okay?”

But Taemin wouldn’t have any of it. “No, I have the right to know as much as they do, and I’m not as innocent as you think I am.” The doctor trained his surprised gaze back to Taemin, while the boy kept talking. “It cannot possibly be that bad, can it?” Taemin’s voice was softer now, more afraid than defiant.

The doctor, seeing as he had no way out (and neither Key nor Jonghyun were objecting), sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry… but he lost so much blood on the ambulance that we couldn’t save him. His last words, though, were akin to something like… ‘Taemin, I love you.’”

And said boy abruptly broke down.

Yah, Taemin, you’re such a masochist.

“Wait, I wasn’t finished though! There’s one more thing…” The flustered doctor dug furiously at the frustrating pockets located at the most random places on his dirtied lab coat, and came up with an envelope. He walked over to the almost-sobbing boy and handed the envelope over to him, saying, “Here… we found this in his pocket, and judging by its contents and your tirade here, we assumed that this was for you. I’m really sorry, I just… I’ll leave you alone now.”

Taemin sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Thank you for everything you did, doctor. As long as you tried, and I’m sure you did… thank you.”

As soon as the doctor exited the lobby with a bow and an apologetic smile, Key moved to stride over to Taemin and see what in the world was in that magical envelope of his (because Taemin was staring at it with more reverence than he had ever given Key), but Jonghyun held him back. “Yeobo, you’ve already hurt him enough; I think he deserves his moment now. Just leave him alone for once, please.” Key nodded obediently and burrowed into Jonghyun’s arms, afraid of his son’s reaction.

Taemin, on the other hand, was debating whether or not he should open the envelope. He couldn’t say he wasn’t curious, but he also didn’t want anyone else watching him break down like it was some kind of Korean drama and they all had popcorn.

And then he had a “ this” moment. Some little voice in the back of the rational part of his brain warned him to be careful, but then again, this was a “ this” moment. Taemin practically tore the envelope in two; it was a wonder how nothing fell out or the paper inside didn’t rip. Inside was a letter from Minho, written in his own aesthetic, elegant handwriting.

Dear Taemin, my love,

If you’re reading this right now, then I’m probably farther away from you than I would like to admit. Then again, I don’t like to admit a lot of things, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing this— no, I had to do this. If not for you, then for me, because I can’t take this anymore. I can’t take being so close to you and not being able to have the moments like we did before. You remember them? Of course, I wouldn’t have expected anything less of you. You’re perfect, Taemin-ah, and you always were; I guess I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt you any more than I needed. I know you must be thinking, how can I say that at a time like this? I don’t know either, Taemin-ah. But you must know, that I never stopped loving you. You know, there’s a saying that goes something like “it doesn’t matter when you started, as long as you never stopped”. Well, that outlines my explanation perfectly. Taemin, my love, I will never stop loving you, even if you don’t want me, even if you don’t care, even if I have to leave you… even if I die. I love you, Taemin.

~Minho

PS. The necklace in this envelope is for you. I had it custom fitted and stuff… it’s to prove to you that my love for you is never-ending and that I will always be with you no matter what (I know it’s a really bad substitute… or maybe good, considering your point of view). Honestly though, it’s fully your choice what to do with it. Throw it away, burn it, give it to someone else if you like, but just remember that I will never stop loving you no matter what.

Taemin tried not to promptly burst into tears, he really did. He reached for the abused envelope again, tipping it to the side so violently that both Key and Jonghyun were slack-jawed at how he managed to catch the miniscule sliver of silver snaking out. He dropped the envelope and raised his cupped hand to scrutinize what was now in his palm, and he was shocked, to say the least.

There, in his tiny delicate hand, was the second-most beautiful thing in the world (okay, first if you count Minho as a person and not a thing, but that’s irrelevant).

Suddenly, nothing mattered so much anymore.

But it’s worth it in the end.

That was it. Taemin decided he would live for both of them. Because he had Minho’s heart now, too.

He lifted his blurry gaze to face the stark white ceiling of the hospital.

“I love you too, hyung. Forever.”

Right?

If only you had tried a little bit harder, a little bit earlier, Minho hyung…

Word Count: 7,871

A/N: So guys, I’m sorry this took so long… But honestly I felt that this version is so much better (and about 3000 words longer xD) than the original which got deleted. Hey, maybe it’s a good thing that it got deleted then! Yeah right… anyways, well, I hope you still enjoy this. I made a couple of changes and since I’ve been on a super crazy Jongkey high these days (GUYS GUYS GUYS DID YOU SEE JONGKEY ING HUGGING ON STAGE WHEN THEY WON THAT THING ON MARCH 31??? I SWEAR ALL THE JONGKEY FANS DIED AND MORE POSITIONS ARE GOING TO BE JOINING THE RANKS OF OUR JONGKEY FANFICS SOON), I made Jongkey a bit more lovey dovey than usual, bahaha. *ahem* so anyways I hope you love reading this as much as I loved writing it, cause this is actually (I think) the best thing I’ve ever written. Well I mean… I hate all my other fics and stuff. I just really like this one xD (even though there’s no … but then again, a fic doesn’t need to be good). EVEN THOUGH I’M SO ALLERGIC TO ANGST, I can’t help but write angsty 2min. I think it suits them (bahaha, YEAH RIGHT, 2min are SO fluff-ay it hurts). And I can die happy now cause I got a 233/250 on my super huge SS presentation on Lebanon! <3 (okay that’s not super good but our teacher grades really hard… and I at oral presentations). Okay I’ll stop talking about my personal life now cause none of you care and I hope you pretend to enjoy this! Saranghae~ <3 OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE HYUKJAE (EUNHYUK) I HOPE YOU HAD AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY AND AMAZING BIRTHDAY WITH HAE!!!