Everyone says falling in love is fun. It’s the nicest feeling ever. Jessica disagrees. Especially if the person you fall for didn't like you back. It’s not fun. It’s not nice. It’s hell.

Oh well.

But she digressed.

Or maybe not. She didn’t care anyway.

She blew the smoke of her cigarettes, the air was cold. Her lungs? Not much. It was hot. Probably from the cigarette, or from the heartbreak. Again, she didn’t care.

Her heart however, mixed between cold and hot. Cold because being rejected was not fun, hot because well being rejected was really not fun. But again she digressed, there are more fish in the sea. Not like she likes fish anyway.

She hates fish. She prefers chicken, maybe a bit of beef. But no fish, not even salmon. But she likes this fish a lot. To the point she wishes she doesn’t. Liking someone this much at her old age is not fun. She’s 35, she has so many things to do. Not mop around over someone.

Oh did she ever mention that someone is a girl? Making it much worse. It’s not like she’s not gay. She is. Always have, always been. It's just that the girl is straight. Again, out of many fish, she likes the straight one.

She dated girls before. Lesbians, biuals. She likes most of them. But she never loved them. So it’s a bit insane that she loves some random straight girl.

Well the girl wasn’t random. It’s her coworker. Making it much worse. Who the likes your own colleague. Her apparently. She hates it. But again, she digressed. Or maybe not.

Mostly she just mopped around. It’s not like she can do anything about it anyways. She can’t just quit her job. She can, but then she would be back to zero. The company loves her. She’s their greatest engineer of all time. Sure the other companies want her. But her boss offered her much more.

And money is fun. If she can’t get love at least she can have money. She could buy all the designer's clothes and bags, and even some expensive cigarettes. As a reward. For handling this heartbreak (she barely handled it anyway but she still needs a reward).

She stared at her cigarette, it has been lit up for 25 minutes now. She was at lunch. At the rooftop. Didn’t feel like eating. She probably will throw it up later if she ever eats anyway. Heartbreak is insane. She was fully convinced she may have some sort of heart disease. With how much pain she has been dealing lately.

Her cigarette was almost out. Smoking for 30 minutes. Slow smoking. Just a few puffs here and there while she stared into the city. It was almost the end of lunch. They have 1 hour lunch everyday. She already spent 30 minutes crying in the bathroom anyways.

Again, heartbreak .

She took one last puff before dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it. She shouldn’t litter. But no one comes to the rooftop anyway, just her.

“Jessica?”

A voice rang through the rooftop, she knew the voice.

“Yes?”

She answered, without taking her eyes off the cigarette she just stomped. She did not want to look at the source of the voice.

“The meeting is almost starting”

“I still have 5 minutes left”

“Still, it’s a project that you will be presenting. You need to be in the meeting room on time”

“I know”

Jessica huffed. Finally looking at the person.

“I’m coming”

She said, walking slowly. She shuffled her hand through her hair, the cold wind was messing it up.

“You better be”

The person scoffed. Opening the door wider to let Jessica in the building.

“Not too harsh on me Hwang”

“You’re not eating”

“I literally just did”

“Smoking is not considered eating”

“It does to me, why do you even care?”

Jessica answered in a nonchalant voice. She’s a bit annoyed. She doesn’t need someone who rejected her over and over again to be worried about her. Yeah. She’s petty like that.

‘Hwang’ just sighed, and just followed Jessica to the meeting room.

“Whatever you say Jung”

She didn’t have any energy to argue. And so did Jessica.