There she was, sitting beside my friend. I wanted to tell her what I’m feeling about her, but I’m so scared of being rejected. Will my heart be strong enough to confess?

 

“I’M GOING TO HELP NOONA FIND A BOYFRIEND!”

 

I squirmed in discomfort as I heard Strong Heart’s host, Lee Seung Gi, read Seungri’s board post. On the monitor, I can see Dara’s face getting redder by the minute.  I turned to Seungri and saw a wide, stupid grin plastered on his face. This rat is definitely enjoying himself.

 

For the YG special of Strong Heart, I decided to reveal the secret I’ve been keeping for years. I will finally confess my feelings about Dara. Because every time I try to tell her, I freeze right up and everything between us gets awkward, especially with the camera lurking around. So now, I will bare everything, even if I get senseless beating from the boss.

 

I was too much of a pansy, so I asked CL to sit with me. She was the only one who knew what I was going to do. I got her support and I felt better.

 

But now…

 

Everyone turned to Seungri and Dara’s seat and laughed. Somehow, they all find it amusing. So I also laughed. In the corner of my eye, I can see TOP-hyung giving Seungri a wary look. He must have felt that our maknae will make another scene just like he did before.

 

“Yes, that’s right. I will,” Seungri gave a maniacal laugh before he continued. “As you all know, Dara and Bom-noona’s dating ban will end this year. That’s why I will help her. Dara-noona mentioned that she wanted to get married as soon as possible.”

 

Dara stared at him in disbelief and said, “Ya! When did I ever say that?”

 

“Just last week. You said ‘Seungri-ah, you have to help me find a boyfriend. I have to get married as soon as possible.’ So now, I’m going to help you,” Seungri did a cheap imitation of Dara as he narrated and everybody laughed.

 

Last week?

 

It was White Day. If I remember that day right, it was also the day Kim Jaejoong of JYJ visited YG. He and Dara would make a movie and apparently, he thought it would be nice to visit. The girls were all ecstatic seeing him, especially Dara.

 

As if they haven’t seen each other face-to-face already.

 

I also remember being extremely bitter that day. I admit I was jealous. Who wouldn’t be?

 

CL nudged me with her elbow after she noticed I was daydreaming and I turned my full attention to what Seungri was saying. He was asked by Seung Gi-ssi on what the characteristics of Dara’s ideal guy were. I found myself sitting at the edge of our seat.

 

“Dara-noona likes someone who is younger than her.”

 

Jaejoong is younger than her.

 

“She also likes guys who are cute but tough.”

 

He certainly has that image.

 

“Someone who’s unchanging.”

 

While Dara ages backwards, Jaejoong has that vampire-like skin.

 

“And someone who has the letters K and J in his initials.”

 

I felt a lump at my throat while the others were laughing and the audience was trying to guess who it was. Seung Gi himself tried to guess, and said, “Dara-ssi, you’ll be in a movie sometime next year, right?” I saw Dara nod. “You’ll be working with…” Seung Gi suddenly paused when he realized what I already became conscious of moments ago.

 

“…Kim Jae Joong.”

 

He said the words slowly and one by one and the audience broke into loud cheers and giddy screams. Everyone found it romantic, except me, because all I could feel was hurt and jealousy.

---

 

There he was, sitting beside my friend. I wanted to tell him what I’m feeling about him, but I’m so scared of being rejected. Will my heart be strong enough to confess?

 

”THE GIRL BEHIND MY SONGS…”

 

I let out a sad smile as I heard Strong Heart’s host, Lee Seung Gi, read Jiyong’s board post. It made me curious, because as far as I knew, he never really dated anyone. He went out, but it was purely on a friendly level. Every scandal was just the media talking.

 

For the YG special of Strong Heart, I decided to reveal the secret I’ve been keeping for years. I will finally confess my feelings for Jiyong. I once mentioned in an interview that he was my ideal, and it was true. He really is. So now, I will bare everything, even if I get an endless lecture from the boss.

 

So I asked Seungri to be my tag mate. He knew that I have a crush on his hyung, and no, I didn’t tell him. I won’t do something like that. Seungri has a reputation of ratting people out, but he’s a good dongsaeng, that’s why I chose him. And after what he just did, I wonder if I made the right decision choosing him.

 

And now…

 

“Can you elaborate more on that, Jiyong-ssi?” I heard Seung Gi ask. Jiyong grinned and started to explain what his board post meant.

 

”I’ve been composing songs for a while now. And in every interview, I’ve avoided the questions about my inspiration. This time, I’m letting it all out.”

The whole family turned to where Jiyong and CL were seated and I could see my friend laughing to herself. The host saw it too and he remarked, “Seems like CL-ssi knows something about it.”

 

CL nodded but she refused to give out any comment so Jiyong continued.

 

“This girl makes me smile even when I’m in a bad mood.”

 

CL? He always smiles when he sees her.

 

“We have the same style and interests.”

 

Definitely her.

 

“I’m very comfortable when I’m with her.”

 

Strike three. Jiyong and I were as awkward as a turtle.

 

“Initials! Initials!” the audience chanted. Jiyong sheepishly smiled and said, “She doesn’t need an introduction. Everyone knows her.”

 

“Is she a celebrity?” Seung Gi asked and Jiyong nodded. Everyone gave a loud hoot, but I was just smiling on my seat. It hurt because I knew it was not me who he was describing. I’m happy for CL though, if she was the girl that inspires Jiyong.

 

“Why don’t you give a message to her?” chided PSY-oppa. Jiyong faced the camera and I watched him from the monitor as he said his message to his inspiration.

 

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever felt like this. You were someone that I would never want to miss. I feel like a child whenever when I’m with you and for some reasons, I get butterflies. I would assume you feel the same as I do and I really do try my best to be there for you. It’s my job to guard your heart and keep you close. You know that I would never let you go. I’ll put my pride aside, and be the man of your life. My hope is that you’ll understand that like everybody else, I have a heart too that can be loved and that wants to be loved by you.”

 

I clapped with everybody else and the audience broke into loud cheers and giddy screams. Everyone found it romantic, except me, because all I could feel was hurt and jealousy.

---

 

We were informed that for the broadcast, we will have to give someone in the family a rose which could signify anything—friendship, love, admiration. “You could even give it to someone you’re angry with,” Lee Seung Gi joked.

 

In a matter of minutes, only Dara and I have not given the rose we were holding. The other family members were waiting and looking at us. I glanced at Dara, but she was talking to Seungri. I wondered what they were talking about.

 

CL whispered to my ear and said, “Oppa, do it already.”

 

I smiled at her and stood up. I looked up and saw Dara doing the same.

---

 

We were informed that for the broadcast, we will have to give someone in the family a rose which could signify anything—friendship, love, admiration. “You could even give it to someone you’re angry with,” Lee Seung Gi joked.

 

In a matter of minutes, only Jiyong and I have not given the rose we were holding. The other family members were waiting and looking at us. Seungri whispered to my ear and said, “Noona, do it already.”

 

I glanced at Jiyong, but he was talking to CL. I wondered what they were talking about.

 

I smiled at Seungri and stood up. I looked up and saw Jiyong doing the same.

---

 

We walked slowly towards each other, each wearing a shy expression. And when we exchanged roses, everyone cheered. Dara chuckled and said to me, “So why exactly are you giving this to me?”

 

I frowned. “You were the inspiration behind my songs…even if I’m not the guy you were looking for.”

 

“But you are!” Dara exclaimed. From the corner of my eye, I saw Seungri and CL laughing their guts out.

 

Those sneaks! They must have planned it together!

 

I laughed and bowed my head. “I guess this part gets edited out, won’t it?”

 

“Maybe,” Dara smirked and her head dropped.

 

I lifted her head with my hands as I said, “This part will get edited too.”

 

And before she could ask anything, I went in for a kiss.

 

With our strong hearts, we finally confessed.

 

And it turned out that she likes me just how I like her.

 

Wrong.

 

She loves me like how I love her.