A perfect face is staring at me so intently and this without showing any emotions that I am now starting to feel scared, just like how everyone else had been. What should I do? I don’t know if the Khun Sam of today and the Khun Sam of ten years ago are the same. The last time I saw her, she was grinning from ear to ear. But now it’s hard to see the trace of the faintest smile on her face, it's as if it completely disappeared.

Will I be accused of trying to get favouritism if I tell her that I know her?

No, denying is better.

“Good evening, Khun Sam.”

I awkwardly greet her and avoid to even wave my hand at her. Because in situations like this, I must remain polite and humble. Khun Sam accepts my greetings and nods her head slightly while still looking at me.

“I read your interview articles, so I know you like dogs.”

“Yes, I did an interview. But I didn't say I liked dogs, I said I liked cats.”

“Hm. I must have misunderstood.” I lift my hand awkwardly to tuck my hair behind my ear. “Whether it’s cats or dogs, you are an animal person.”

“It is different. Have we met before?”

The question makes my heart race as my eyes meet hers. It makes me want to smile, even more so when seeing her beautiful face. It’s like we had a fight and I’m the first to give in.

I can’t fight, she’s too powerful.

“We may have met before.”

“We may have? What do you mean?”

“I'm a new employee, I just started working here. I'm not sure if you remember seeing me three days ago?” I answered her and she nods.

“Ah yes, you are the new intern, bunny girl.”

The nickname ‘bunny girl’ makes me feel that Boss M.L., whom everyone fears, is actually adorable. I smile unknowingly and look at her again. Did I do something wrong? Because she takes a step away from me and loses her balance.

“Are you okay?”

When I almost reach her, she quickly avoids me and puts her hands in her pockets.

“I am fine. I could be a little drunk or maybe I got sick from the smell of the bathroom.” Then she walks towards the door, but halfway there she stops and turns towards me. “We really haven't met before?”

“If we had met, you would remember me, right?”

“True.”

For a short moment she looks confused. I’m trying to control myself from showing my excitement. When she is gone, I almost faint. Don't. Don't faint.

Heavens. I met her so unexpectedly. Besides, we had a conversation.

I’m afraid that my beautiful boss heard my heartbeat during our talk. It was so thrilling. I thought I could see her tonight, but this was so much better. She is so beautiful, just like an angel.

It feels so good. I am not disappointed in working here.

“You can’t stop smiling. Did you get to see her? The one you’ve been wanting to meet.” My mother who was waiting for me at home starts smelling me. “Did you drink alcohol?”

“I was at a party, Mom.” I smile at her and nod in response. “I met Khun Sam, I’m so happy!”

“It’s not strange to be happy when you meet your idol. So, how is she?”

“Ah.” I roll my eyes because I don’t know how to answer to that question. “Everything can change, including Khun Sam. She doesn't seem to be the same person who smiled at me years ago.”

“But you know her better than anyone else. You collected and saved everything about her from magazines and interviews. One day, I will show it all to her.”

“You will not have this opportunity, I will never get to be close to her. She’s like a TV star and I’m just a fan. All I can do is follow her for inspiration. Only just that.”

“I feel like you are as sad as if you got heartbroken.”

“No, I’m not. Today we talked a lot.” I told her. “But we won’t have a chance to talk again. She is the boss and I am a mere intern.”

“Khun Sam is not a bad person. She often came here to ask about the dog, Tiger. And even when she graduated, she continued to come. Didn’t you tell her that Tiger died?”

“She didn’t recognise me.”

“I know she will, Mon. You said she smiled at you and reached up to touch your head and ruffle your hair, you were so delighted that she did not stop.”

“That was ten years ago. She doesn’t remember me now.”

“You didn't tell her that you were my daughter?”

“I don’t want people to think that I am trying to get close to her for the wrong reasons.”

“You are overcomplicating this. Just do what you want. It’s late now. Go shower. We will talk tomorrow.”

I agree and head to the shower. My house is small and old. We can't do much better because of my mother’s salary as a janitor. But we can pay rent for the house. If anything has changed, it’s that now I’m grown up and working. Also, I get my first paycheck this month so I can help my mother financially.

Today, even if seeing her was unexpected, I was moved. After showering, I pull out my collection of articles to read Khun Sam’s interviews. I’m her biggest fan and she’ll never know how much I adore her. For a long time. Since twelve years ago.

I was in fourth grade and Khun Sam was in twelfth grade, so we are eight years apart. It is a big age difference. Khun Sam was a high school student at a famous girls’ school. If you weren’t rich or from a prestigious family, you would hardly get into that school.

Tough conditions come from choosing a high society school though.

If you study at Triam Udom School*, you will have friends who are likely to become doctors, politicians and entrepreneurs. But if you study at a luxury private school, you’ll have millionaire friends.

*TL Note: Highest rated school in Thailand.

To me and my mother, we felt like outsiders in this high society school. My mother was a janitor, so it meant that I was the janitor’s daughter. I used to go see my mother every afternoon after school. In there, children had their own circles. One thing about them was that they did not use profanities like other teenagers. I enjoyed seeing the older female students in long skirts talking snidely about boys from other schools.

uality is just an exception in all types of societies. Because it’s all about hormones.

Since it was an all-girls school, the girls decided to bond in a loving way whether it was just a trend or not. I loved seeing girls walking hand in hand. They had beautiful skin and a lot of charm. It could be from the good food, as if their skin said ‘I’m rich’, or something like that.

As for me, I felt like I was a girl from the slums.

This school also is the royal school, full of the king’s great-greatgrandchildren. One of them was Khun Sam. I met her because a dog there had a litter. Khun Sam did not agree with the opinion of other people and took Tiger, the ugliest male pup with stripes, to her place. But her grandmother wouldn’t allow it, so she brought the pup back to school with her eyes filled with tears.

“I'm not allowed to take him home, Aunt. Please take care of him.”

Even though she was a senior, she was crying like a child. My mother, out of respect for her position, calmed her down.

“You can't keep it at home?”

“No. I don’t know what to do. It’s hurting me. I’m afraid he won’t be able to grow up.”

My mother laughed at the way Khun Sam avoided using the word “die”. I had been watching the scene for a while and I decided to pull my mother’s shirt to get her attention and said something innocently.

“Mom. Can we take the puppy home? Poor thing, when she cries, she’s not pretty.”

I can remember that Khun Sam looked at me for a moment. When my mother saw her crying and heard what I said, she agreed to take Tiger home.

“I’ll take him home, but I can’t provide care for him. If he gets sick, I’ll have to let him go.”

“I will help.” Khun Sam looked at me and grinned from ear to ear. “Thank you so much, bunny.”

Pit-a-pat.

Pit-a-pat.

My heart started racing at that moment, especially when she placed her hand on top of my head to pat me. I thought to myself, what a stunning girl she was. Even though she smiled through tears, the world became brighter.

Since that day. She became my idol.

What was she studying? How tall is she? What were her favourite subjects? What did she like to eat? I found out in magazine interviews. Because she is from the royal family, she has always been in the spotlight. Even if she is not as beautiful as a TV star, she has good taste, intelligence and charm.

She dreamed of having a kindergarten and loved to write. I knew a lot about her. But it’s best that I keep it a secret. If she finds out, it won’t be good.

“Today, you should talk to her and tell her you missed her.”

My mom doesn’t relent. The next morning she keeps telling me to go see Khun Sam and tell her this long story.

“No, mom.”

“Don’t worry, I think she will be happy and curious to know about Tiger. She might be missing him, and this is your chance to learn more about her.”

After saying that, she places a picture of Tiger in my hand.

“You have a picture of Tiger?”

“I took this picture with my phone and printed it. This is a good opportunity to get close to her.”

“But-”

“Come on.” She pushes me out as if Khun Sam was waiting for me outside. “Hurry up, hurry up. It’s late, you’re gonna be late for work.”

She tells me to talk to her, as if it were that easy. Everyone in the office is well aware that Boss M.L. is not the warm type, and that realisation is getting the best of me right now.

But I do want to get closer to her. We spoke yesterday, she’s not a bad person.

I can’t focus on work all day. I keep looking at her office frosted glass walls and at the picture of Tiger my mom gave me. I have a feeling that Tiger will help me talk to her.

“Tiger. If you can hear me, please help me talk to Khun Sam today.”

Then I go back to focusing on work until 6 pm. Everyone is going home. And now it’s just the two of us at work. Yes. Khun Sam is still in her office.

My house is so far away from here, but I want to talk to her so badly. Should I go knock on the door? I’m confused and don’t know what to do, but I finally decide to do it.

Knock knock knock.

“Khun Sam, excuse me. May I come in?"

Silence…

I almost give up, but something tells me to open the door and all I see is her head lying on the table, as if she has fallen asleep. I don’t want to wake her up. So, I decide to leave.

I’d better go home.

However, when I decide to leave, I hear a quiet voice. And it’s just her and me in the office.

“Help me.”

“How can I help?”

“I don’t have any pills. I have a headache.”

I look back and see her lying on the floor.

“Khun Sam!”