(A/N: I wrote this in a rush? Idk. Just don't expect anything? It's just I felt so ed-up today, so I came up with this and stuffs before I literally just burst and break. I don't even know why this is GTOP tbh. Because there isn't really any relation is there? Besides writing this as it relates to me (at least for now anyways), this was also partially inspired by another GTOP fic 'The Loss of Me' I guess. Don't be surprised if there's any similarities? Lastly, as usual, all comments and criticisms welcomed. :) )

Jiyong felt like he could explode -all the fears, insecurities, frustrations that he has kept bottled up all this time - just explode any moment now.

Or better still, he could just die;  he couldn't handle the stress, pressure and everything else in between. He really couldn't.  Leave this cruel, cruel world and he would be able to shirk away from all responsibilities, everything.

Yes, call him a coward - but right now he felt so empty - he didn't even care if it hurt his pride.

Besides, why live when all no one knew how to appreciate his music? When all they knew was to brutally rip it off?

Why live when everyday was such a burden - he was such a burden - to his family, to BIGBANG, to YG? Why is he even alive?

What is the point of living?

Why live if he didn't even want to live? 

Why?

And the now-spiked-up-blonde-haired man lay on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, back against the white wall.  In his delicate hand was a relatively small, but nonetheless sharp knife.  He slide his bony, index finger across the blade, fingers shaking just barely. Crimson red blood oozed out from that tiny cut on the pad of his finger almost instantly. It slowly dripped down his hand onto the clean, wet tiles - turning it into a mixture between red and white - tainting it.

But Jiyong felt no pain, not even the tiniest bit? Maybe he did; but he was too ed-up to even feel. And then he thought - maybe it was alright - to end it all, to do it.

And then, "Jiyong."

That deep husky voice, that hot breath against his ear.

Seunghyun. Seunghyun had come in without his knowing, in the midst of all his despair.

And Jiyong just broke down there and then. He flung himself onto Seunghyun - arms looping around his neck - holding onto him desperately. He sobbed and sobbed like there was no tomorrow.

The older wrapped his arms around the young rapper protectively - using one hand to rub small circles around his back soothingly and the other to weave his fingers through the soft, blonde hair – as he whispers sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down.

As the younger tried his best to control his sobs, and had finally been reduced to sniffles, he looked up - eyes still red and puffy.

But the tall rapper just caressed his cheeks - using his thumb to brush away his remaining tears. 

Jiyong looked into the older's eyes and saw so much love, trust, care and concern, and worry and hurt.

And all thoughts of suicide vanished.

Because Seunghyun was enough of a reason to try, and to continue living.