It was late afternoon when Eunbi woke up. She had forgotten when was the last time she had slept in. She had not had the opportunity to stay in bed with nothing planned for the day, not for a very long time anyway. The past months went by in a blur, with work taking up most of her waking hours. Eunbi knew she needed rest. The last weeks was particularly hectic due to her resignation and relocation.  Regardless, Eunbi had to admit she would feel worse if she slept any longer. The exhausted girl let out a loud sigh and rolled herself out of the warm blankets, accepting the fact that her jet-lag would make the next few days extremely tough. At least, she thought to herself, as she rubbed her neck absent-mindedly, the pillows were comfortable.

There was no one home. Eunkwang was at work today. Her older cousin worked at Hankuk University of Foreign Studies in the Department of English Language. She was so tired that she didn't hear him leaving the apartment at all in the morning. Eunbi always thought it was apt that Eunkwang became a teacher. While she always had to prepare before any big presentation, Eunkwang carried the room naturally. Her cousin had a way with words. He always knew how to put people at ease. This natural talent with words was something that Eunbi was always envious of.  She was glad though, he seem to have found a career that his talent could be put to good use.

Even if he had a tendency to nag at her from time to time.

Still, Eunbi couldn't complain. Not when Eunkwang had given her a temporary shelter. She reached for her phone by her bedside with half-opened eyes, and read the long text that Eunkwang had sent her. Her confident cousin had apparently expected her to be quite non-functional today and informed her that a list of food delivery hotlines was on the fridge. Both of the guys didn't cook much, he explained. She could have guessed just as much, as Eunbi found herself grimacing at the near-empty fridge when she made her way groggily into the kitchen.

Well, it wasn't exactly empty if one counted the two dozen cans of beer in there.

Eunbi was not a fan of take-outs, or maybe it was just harder where she had stayed previously. She had gotten used to preparing her own food. In fact, she considered herself a pretty good home-cook, having prepared most of her daily meals since her college days. Eunkwang mentioned in his text, that he would buy both of them dinner on his way back from work because he had expected her to not want to head out for meals. Eunbi glanced at the wall clock in the living room. There was roughly another four hours before he ended work.

She understood that Eunkwang thought she would like to stay in today. It’s the weekend tomorrow, and his girlfriend was eager to meet Eunbi. The plan was to start apartment hunting and buy some necessities. Both of them instructed Eunbi to just take it easy on her first day back.

They didn’t know that she didn’t quite enjoy this newfound freedom. She started to pace around the house, trying to figure out if there was any way she could be useful. It was annoyingly neat, she frowned, feeling a little lost. It was then, Eunbi had the perfect idea. She had seen a convenience store nearby on their way back yesterday. She could grab something light from the convenience store as lunch and still have enough time to prepare for dinner.  Pleased with the idea, Eunbi started to search for the nearest supermarket on her phone. Preparing dinner would be a great way to pass time and to thank Eunkwang for his hospitality.

Eunbi took a quick shower and prepared to head out. She put up her long hair in a claw and picked out a simple blue sweater. It would be good to get some sun, Eunbi figured, as she stepped out of the building. Spring was one of Eunbi’s favourite weather. It was cold, but bearable with the afternoon sun. She found herself looking forward to getting a meal from the convenience store. It was her guilty pleasure and she had sorely missed that. Korean convenience stores were after all, of a whole different standard as compared to the ones in the States.

It was barely a 5-minute walk from the building where Eunkwang's apartment was. After a hearty bowl of noodles and a cup of iced Americano, Eunbi was feeling much more awake. She dropped a text to Eunkwang to let him know that she was going to take care of dinner and to confirm the time he would be back. It turned out that he wasn’t going to be very late, as he had planned to get off work early to buy them dinner. She had thought she still had time to explore the neighbourhood, but Eunbi supposed, she had plenty of time for that in the future. Maybe she could take a stroll after dinner. She would need more time than usual, having little faith in Eunkwang’s pantry. There was much to get, and she could only decide what she could cook after confirming what she could get her hands on at the supermarket. Eunbi wondered if Eunkwang was still the picky eater she remembered, as she used her phone to locate the nearest place to get some groceries. Markets would be closed by now. A supermarket or hypermarket would do just fine. 

Cooking was one of Eunbi's favourite pastimes. There was just something satisfactory to create heart-warming meals from scratch. It was odd because one would guess she was the kind of person who followed recipes to the word. But Eunbi enjoyed experimenting with ingredients and coming up with new recipes. It came easier now, but that was from many years of trial and error. The kitchen was Eunbi’s safe space. It was hard to explain. After all, Eunbi usually doesn’t allow herself room for failure.

The 29-year-old located the supermarket in 10 minutes. Grocery shopping was another item on her list of favourite things to do. Eunbi didn’t have the habit of making shopping lists. She preferred to go down the aisles for inspiration. It wasn’t the most efficient, but she enjoyed roaming aimlessly in the stores. She could spend hours in a supermarket, just reading the labels. Eunbi found herself humming an old favourite song as she familiarised herself with the supermarket and started piling items into her shopping cart.

It caught her off guard as her entire body froze when she found herself staring at a shelf full of honey jars, her breath caught in . There was a vivid memory in her head, she blinked, losing focus of where she was. Eunbi was back in her kitchen, back in her old apartment in Boston. She was alone. It was a recent memory. Eunbi was in the apartment by herself. She thought she was used to it by then. She ought to be used to it.

She just needed to open the stupid jar.

It wasn’t easy at the beginning when he moved out. The house was too quiet. There was too much space. There was too much echo. The bed was too big. There was less laundry. There was less food to prepare. There was no one at home to return to. What used to be home, became a shell. An empty shell.

She had let herself grieve then. It was natural, she thought. It was understandable to be upset after