A/N - be warned, this one is angst :'))

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Chaewon didn’t remember the last time she stayed awake until 5am.

Neither the last time she experienced silence.

No neighbors talking, screaming, screeching chairs on the ground. No voices outside, no cars or honks, no random noises all around her. Not even crickets or the wind blowing.

Pure silence.

She didn’t want to go to sleep. The sooner she went, the sooner she would wake up the next day without that weird, almost scary peace that washed over her.

Now she could understand the feeling behind one of her favorite playlists - everyone is asleep, except you. All of those dark ambient playlists she regularly listened to had a very particular vibe, and at that moment, when she decided to play that one in specific, she realized why they were called like that.

It didn’t break the silence. It became part of it, complementing it as if her thoughts had company, a soothing whisper.

Thoughts of only one thing. The one and only thing in her mind whenever she didn’t bother to fight back.

Those piercing eyes and fierce eyebrows. That calming, adorable smile, that contagious laugh and the rare, high-pitched one she had the privilege of hearing from time to time. Sometimes herself being the reason for it.

She missed Hyejoo.

She wished Hyejoo could be there with her. Sitting next to her on the couch, hand in hand, experiencing the same peace. Maybe she would break the silence with a silly joke, or the most random fact or memory she could possibly remember about. But Chaewon would listen, and would laugh, as she always did, all while her eyes shone as she looked at Hyejoo. As she noticed for the nth time the curve of her nose, the shape of her lips, her perfectly align pearl white teeth, the low tone of her voice, the hair pushed back.

Then Hyejoo would grab her phone and play a song. One Chaewon couldn't predict because she liked all kinds of music. It could be rock, it could be rap, or even classical. But if Chaewon could choose one from all the songs Hyejoo showed her, it would be Taylor's All Too Well. And then Hyejoo would sing in a shy mutter, and Chaewon would die inside, because even though she had broken the silence, she would rather hear Hyejoo's voice for all eternity instead.

Oh, how Chaewon wished she could lie down on her bed in her arms. Or have Hyejoo in hers, she didn't know what she preferred, because that was something she never had experienced. Not in reality, because in her mind that was a constant. She wished she could kiss her forehead, deeply inhale her perfume hiding the cigarette scent on her. Say sweet nothings, or a silly goofy something. Make her laugh. Make her smile, that wide one that made her nose scrunch, and then Chaewon would cry at how pretty and adorable and genuinely endearing it was. Cry because she would be so happy to be with Hyejoo.

Instead of crying alone on her couch, the silence being the one embracing her and not Hyejoo.

Because she knew Hyejoo's arms were already filled with the one lucky to claim that place, in silence or not.

And even though Chaewon tried to fight the feelings, the memories, she still remembered them. All too well.

And she wished the silence would silence them too.

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A/N - ... I'm sorry, I guess? :sob:

btw that playlist Chaewon mentions is actually amazing, I'mma link it here so y'all can experience that same peace

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