Oh, don't you say goodbye

Don't you say goodbye

I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding

If that'll make it right

He stared right ahead as flashes of memories had once again invaded his thoughts. May his eyes be closed or not, all these memories haunt him as if they were his shadow. They never left him alone. Always hiding somewhere and eventually makes their appearance inducing emotions from him. They slowly eat him inside out. His head hurt. His heart ached. Every part of him ached but what hurts the most was his shattered heart.

“I want to go out.” She said softly while waiting for his reaction, hoping that he would say yes. He paused eating his noodles and looked at her. He sighed and shook his head before replying, “I’m sorry. You know I can’t. I can’t go out with you.”

She felt a tug in her heart after hearing the same reason for the nth time. She sighed and gave him a half smile before standing up. He frowned and reached out his hand to hold her wrist. She sighed once again and said, “I’m just going to get you some water.” He continued to look up at her and eventually loosening his grip.

“I…” He started but she cut him off and said, “I understand ok? I’m just going to get the DVDs I rented and we’ll watch it after you eat, alright?” She looked down at him before he smiled and nodded his head. There they were, stuck in his apartment doing what they have been from the start.

A few weeks passed by and she was waiting for his call at the middle of the night. Since he and his group made their comeback, his schedule was too packed for her to meet him. She was lonely and missing him. She wanted to see him and be with him even for a while. When she tried, she did see him but he was not able to give her the time she was craving for.

Her phone on her side rang startling her. She excitedly picked her phone and answered the call. “Yoebosayo?”

“Hey…” She smiled hearing his voice. She missed him so much, his voice, his smile, everything. “I missed you.” He uttered on the phone making her heart beat faster. She leaned back against the headboard of her bed and said, “I miss you too… How have you been?”

She heard him chuckle and said, “God, I miss your voice. Hearing you right now just made me miss you more. “She blushed knowing he would have that boyish smile she adored before biting his lip. “You’re blushing, aren’t you?” He asked before chuckling once again. Even if they don’t see each other, they knew one another so much they know what their reactions would be.

“I-I’m not!” They continued to talk for hours, trying to make up the time they were not together. It was hard for them but they were willing to hold on. They were willing to just have these phone calls at night and sometimes a short moment together.

He let a long sigh as he stared at the bottle he had been nursing himself with. His grip on the bottle’s neck tightened before taking a big gulp. The liquor burnt his throat as he swallowed. The bitter and alcohol taste took no effect on him. It was as if his taste buds had grown accustomed to the taste. He leaned his head against the wall. With his closed eyes, he bit his lip and tried to suppress the blinding heartache that was clawing his heart.

Weeks turned to months and things were not doing any better. He had been busier with his work while she focused on her studies. It became harder for them to meet or even to talk to each other. When he calls, she would have been sleeping, vice versa. They were getting lonely and missing each other’s company but whenever they tried to meet, it just does not push through.

“I’m sorry baby but I’m really busy right now. Can we just meet each other some other time?” He said to her on the phone. A worker in the café looked at her and gave her a sad smile. Once again she waited for hours for him but still didn’t manage to meet him. This would be the 6th time, or was it even more? She couldn’t remember anymore.

There was a time she had a free time and wanted to see him. She called him and asked where he was before deciding to go there and visit him. If he couldn’t meet her or visit her, then she would just need to do it herself.

“Hi, is he inside?” She asked his hyung who was about to go out of the studio. “Oh! I haven’t seen you around lately. How have you been?”

She smiled and said, “I’ve been good just busy with studies. How about you oppa?” He nodded his head and said, “You’re a graduating student right? I’m good. We just finished recording a few songs and hopefully we’ll be able to choose the songs we’ll include in their next album.”

“Oh, that’s great. No wonder he’s really busy. I hope all of you aren’t exhausting yourselves.” He chuckled and patted her shoulders before telling her he needed to go. “He’s inside listening to the recordings once again. Just go inside and please do drag him out. He needs to relax.” She nodded her head and bid him goodbye.

“Oppa?” She opened the door and found him scribbling notes on a paper. He stopped the record and turned around. With wide eyes he greeted her, “I… You’re here.” She smiled and nodded her head before walking towards him. “I’m free for today so I decided to see you.” He smiled before taking her hand settling her in front of him.

She stood in between his legs as he looked up at her with a bright smile on his lips. He tugged her hand down and pulled her on his lap. His arms wound around her waist while he buried his face against the crook of her neck. Both of them sighed as they let themselves soaked each other’s presence.

A few more time, it became a routine. Instead of him putting some effort to see her even for a while, it became her. She would free up some time and eventually go to his apartment or the studio in hopes of seeing him. She would bring some food or anything. Instead of it bringing the both of them together, they just drifted further apart.

“I-I’m sorry…” He mumbled to himself before taking a swig of the liquor. A certain memory flashed and before anyone knew it, he threw the bottle he was holding against the wall. It shattered as it smashed against the wall. The people around the room halted and took a glance on him. They shook their head knowing it was once again one of those nights he was taken back to the very same day.

She was getting tired of doing everything. She wanted him to at least put some effort. She knew he was busy but so was she but she still tried. He was getting annoyed of her unannounced visits. He would feel forced to stop whatever he was doing to entertain her. He felt suffocated while she felt forgotten. They were drifting apart more than they wanted to admit.

She sighed and massaged her templ