FOR MANY years, I have had a lot of questions in mind. Most of them pertain to my very existence. I was questioning the very reason of my birth. I was asking for the reason why I am here on earth. Why was I born as Kang Seulgi? Why was I born to this family? What is the reason why my parents divorced? Why did my mother leave my father? Why did she leave me at a very young age and never came back to see me even once?

So many questions but there was no answer.

My father hated my mother. That’s for sure. Everytime he played with me, he showed how much hatred was sowed in his heart. He loathed her for leaving him behind, for running away with a younger man. All of his anger that he couldn’t show to her, he poured it all on me. He used me to his heart’s content, even had other people use me. He had fun seeing me suffer as he could see my mother’s face on me.

He would always say it,

“I loved your mother with everything I have but she abandoned me just to be with someone else. Your mother left you here as a payment! You should pay for your mother’s sins!”

What did I do? I didn’t even ask to be given birth to? Why do I have to pay for the sins I never commit? For the sins that I am not even aware of?

I wanted to ask him all of these questions but I doubt that he would give me enlightenment even if he was still alive. He was caught in the dark too. How could someone with no light share their light to others? I wonder if he could still remember the reason why he let darkness fill his heart. He had grown too evil that his heart stopped feeling, it was callous. He couldn’t even recognise me as his daughter.

If he was still alive, I would love to ask him. I still want to understand him. Despite being a monster towards me, he was an ideal father to Seul. He brought her to places, he gave her everything she asked, he protected her from bullies. I want to know the reason why he turns into a demon when night falls.

But since it’s too late now to ask clearance from him, there’s only one person left to ask for enlightenment from.

I can’t help but to wonder; how could she forget someone that she carried in her womb for nine months? The fact that I am her first baby brings even more confusion. Was that normal? How come she completely forgot about me? Did she forget me or is she just pushing me behind her mind?

No matter what, I wanted to know the truth from her. No matter how much it would hurt. I am used to pain anyway. I am used to it… I am… used… to it…

TEARS started rolling down Gi’s face when she witnessed how the woman fell to sit on the ground while covering her ears.

“N-No! I-I don’t know you!” The woman shouted which made her freeze when she was about to reach out for her. “I don’t know you! I don’t know you!”

“B-But you just called me by name…” Gi helplessly cried. “Mom… It’s me…”

“Don’t call me like that!” The woman swatted her hand on her second attempt to reach for her mother. Gi broke even more when she saw how disgusted the woman was. “I don’t know you! You are not my child! I only have one daughter!”

Gi fell down to her knees. She was heavily disassociating. She could feel all the other dormant alters waking up and trying to surface out and she could feel that she’s losing control. The pain in her heart was killing her.

“Seulgi-ya!” Joy called out as she ran towards Gi. She held her by the arm and tried to pull her back to her feet. “Let’s go home, Seulgi! T-This isn’t good for you!”

Somehow getting a hold of her disassociation, Gi stiffly turned to Joy. Her tears were pouring nonstop. “Sooyoung-ah… I—”

“Take her away from me!” The woman shouted, she was still shaking in fear of Gi. “My daughter is just nearby! I can’t have my daughter meet this monster again! She brainwashed her to murder someone! You’re a bad influence on my daughter and I can’t let you meet her again!”

Gi exhaustedly turned back to the woman, her head was in chaos. She could hear a lot of shouting. “B-But…” She shakingly placed her hand by her chest. “I am also your daughter, I am your first born…”

“I said I don’t know you!” The woman threw sand straight to Gi’s face. Sooyoung was late to cover Gi.

“What’s wrong with you, woman!?” Joy shouted as hugged the crying Gi. “How could you do this to your own flesh and blood!?”

“Own flesh and blood?” The woman asked them with a half-crying smile while shaking her head. “She was the reason why I suffered! If I didn’t have her I wouldn't be forced to stay with that man! And now she’s trying to make my daughter suffer again by going near her?”

“You should meet Mom! She would be so happy to meet you!”

Remembering Yerim’s words made Gi laugh. Joy and the woman held their breaths when Gi started laughing.

“Is this what she means with the word happy?” Gi helplessly leaned to the tire of the car. She was laughing but her tears weren’t stopping at all. “You really are so happy to meet me, aren’t you?”

Gi was laughing and sobbing at the same time. Joy was already panicking. She took her phone out and dialled Irene’s number. She didn’t even wait for Irene to pick the call up. She just put it on the ground to have Irene listen to whatever is happening.

“All these years I’ve been wondering!” Gi violently wiped the tears with her hands but they just kept on coming, they won’t be stopping anytime soon as Seul, who’s witnessing everything while co-conscious, was also crying. “All these years I’ve been wondering why you abandoned me… It turns out that you blame me for suffering in the hands of my father. Tell me, how much did you suffer?”

“Seulgi-ya, enough… Please, let’s just leave…” Joy couldn’t stop herself from crying as well. “Let’s go please… I beg you…”

“That’s right, it’s your fault!”

Joy, for the first time in a long while, felt the urge to actually hurt someone. She glared at the woman who was still shaking in her place. “What’s wrong with you for real!?”

“That man me and his horrendous act resulted into you! If you didn’t happen then I won’t be forced to be married to him! My grandparents won’t be fooled to push me to be married to a monster like him! If you just didn’t happen—”

“Did I even ask to be conceived!?” Gi shouted back. “Did I cheer him up when he was molesting you!? What? You were forced to be married to him to save your face? Because people would label you as a victim? You were just thinking about yourself! You should’ve just killed me while I was still in your womb. It would be much better to be killed that way that suffered all my—”

“I TRIED!”

Gi stiffened, the world she was trying hard to rebuild crumbled in just two words.

“I did try to get rid of you but you stuck on me like an irremovable parasite! It was too late—”

“YOU ING WITCH!”

Joy tried her best to get a hold of Sori but the girl’s anger was obviously fueling her strength. She was gnashing her teeth, her bloodshot eyes clearly aiming for one thing.

“You actually tried to kill me, huh!? You really didn’t care about me, huh!?”

“P-Please go away!” Joy shouted at the woman who was stunned by the way Seulgi’s voice changed. It wasn’t just her voice that changed but even her movements.

“What!? Are you ing clueless about this? You didn’t care to the point that you don’t know that your cursed child has this kind of condition!?”

Sori tried to shake Joy off but the girl was giving her all to not let go. “Let me be, Sooyoung! I’m going to ing kill this woman!”

“C-Calm down, please…” Joy cried harder. She took a peek of the woman in front of them who completely froze in place. “I beg you… Please just go away… Please…”

“SORI!”

Joy somehow felt relieved when she heard Irene’s voice. The girl came running with Yerim, her phone was on loudspeaker so Yerim heard everything as well. It could be clearly seen on Yerim’s face how she was aghast with everything that she heard from her mother.

The woman slowly stood up, her back glued at her car. “S-Sori?” she asked in confusion before turning to Irene and Yerim who were coming their way. “Katy… Miss Irene…?”

“Sooyoung, let me go or I will hurt you as well!” Sori threatened, her jaws clenched. “Let me make this woman regret even more about failing to kill me when I was in her ing womb!”

“Seulgi, please… Calm down…” Joy pleaded, burying her face on the girl’s back. “I know you’re angry but hurting her will just make things worse.”

“Sori-ya!” Irene came rushing and hugged from the front. “Sori-ya… It’s okay now. Please calm down.”

“Calm down!?” Irene met the girl’s raging eyes. “Let me tell you what this witch just told me earlier. Let me see if you can calm down!”

“I heard it!” Irene cried but she didn’t bother about her tears. It was Sori’s uncontrollable tears that she wiped first. “I heard everything, Sori-ya… Please calm down. Nothing good will happen if you let anger control you.”

Irene hugged her tighter while Joy did the same from the back. “I may not feel how much you are hurt after hearing that but please, Seulgi has suffered enough… Let’s not do anything harsh, please?”

Fortunately, Irene’s presence somehow calmed Sori down. Her anguish turned into even more tears. “But Snow White… The witch said she wanted me dead…” Sori sobbed like a little kid. If it wasn’t for Joy and Irene then she would’ve already fell to her feet. “I am unwanted… No one wants me… They never wanted me…”

“No, Sori… That’s not the truth.” Irene took another look at the girl’s vulnerable face. “We are here. We need you. You are very important to us. We love you and that’s what’s important, okay? There’s no need to listen to whatever she says, alright, Sori?”

“Snow White…” Sori slowly lifted her arms and hugged Irene back. She buried her face on the smaller girl’s shoulder where she helplessly cried. “It hurts… At least to the monster I served a purpose but to the witch… I am nothing…”

“Yerim-ah!” They heard the woman shout. “Come here, you child! What the hell are you doing with these people!? Were you lying about the internship!? Was that all a lie—”

“Is that even what’s important now!?” Yerim shouted back which silenced her mother. Even Irene and Joy were shocked. Yerim’s shoulders were shaking as she sobbed. She was trying not to cry but her emotions were just overflowing.

“Kim Yerim!”

“What if I was the result of the molestation?” Yerim gritted her teeth, her fists clenched. “Are you also going to try and kill me? Are you also going to abandon me? Are you also going to leave me to the person whom you know so well how evil is!?”

The lady was taken aback, she tried to reach out to Yerim but the girl’s angry stare glued her back to where she was standing.

“Alright, I may not understand completely how hard it was for you. I am not invalidating what you felt but Mom… Seulgi-unnie had nothing to do with it. She knew nothing about it…” Yerim sobbed harder. “Why did you let her suffer in his hands? She was writing letters to you, right? You just ignored all of them…”

Sori cried harder with what she heard. It was true. When they were young, she watched how many times Seulgi wrote a letter for her mother whose address she received from their maid. She didn’t even know if it was really the right address but she believed the maid. She wrote countless letters, hoping that it would somehow reach her mother and actually help her… somehow save her…

But no help came. All this time the saviour that she was waiting for was actually wishing for her demise. The letters… they were left unread before they were set into flames.

“At least you could’ve just taken her with you and left her in an orphanage or something. It would have been much better than living in hell together with her father!” Yerim bit her lower lip as she remembered the biggest secret that she’s been hiding.

“That man…” She took a deep breath before dropping the bomb. “He actually asked me to kill him.”

Everyone stayed silent, shocked with what they heard.

“Do you really think a mere highschooler would actually be able to kill a grownass man like him that easily?” Yerim scoffed. “He knows I am his ex-wife’s daughter and he thought that staining me would be another way of revenge but he himself was so tired of that kind of life. He knew everything that he was doing was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself as he was being controlled by his anger against you.”

“I loathe him for everything that he did to Seulgi-unnie. But talking with him, I realised that he actually really loved you. He didn’t leave you when he got to know about you being pregnant. He took responsibility as a father even though he could just leave you if he was only driven by his flesh. He actually tried to be a good father to Seulgi-unnie. The other Seulgi-unnie could testify about that…”

Yerim closed her eyes and more tears were squeezed out of them. “He actually dreamt of having a happy family with you. He tried his hardest to change whatever it is that you didn’t like about him. He worked hard to be able to supply you everything but you chose to leave him and your daughter behind for another man. And yeah… people have their ways of dealing with their heartbreaks and in his case, he strayed away from his humanity.”

“He knew I came there to kill him but he even thanked me. He begged me to kill him. He begged me to put an end to his miserable life. He begged me to put an end to the monster that he had become… In his last breaths… he thanked me and he asked me to take care of Seulgi-unnie. He said that me killing him is the best revenge he could have against you.”

“W-Why are you saying this now?” The woman scoffed even though it was obvious that she was taken aback by what Yerim said. “Are you condemning me now for not giving my a chance!?”

“I am not talking about that!” Yerim shouted once again. She looked at her mother with those tired eyes. “What I am saying is at least you could’ve given a chance to Seulgi-unnie! She didn’t have anything to do with whatever you are blaming her for! Do you still have to treat her like this even after everything that she went through?”

Yerim ran her fingers through hair, she was a complete picture of frustration. “And please, Mom… Stop saying that you were , you were in a relationship with him and you were the first one who did him wrong. You were the one who had another guy—”

“STOP!” The woman shouted, she was completely crushed. “Where did you even get that false story—”

“Dad told me about this so stop lying!” Yerim started hitting her chest. “Do you know how much it angered me when I found out that I am actually the result of your infidelity? Do you know how much I cried when I found out that my sister suffered like that while I…”

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