Taeyeon’s POV

 

For the past years, my members have been busy with their individual careers. Soo, Yoong, Yul, and our maknae Seo have been busy with their acting careers. Tiffany just finished her Chicago musical. Sunny has been doing her variety shows. Only Hyoyeon and I are active in the idol industry. For the past years, Hyoyeon and I have been spending a lot of time together. I admit, in the beginning, it was unfamiliar because we were never left alone together. We are always with our members. But it wasn’t that bad.

In fact, it was beyond amazing.

I didn't know when it started but I started to notice even the smallest things. Hyoyeon is such a badass when she performs and everything that comes out of is hilarious. However, out of all of us, Hyo is the softest member. Her gratitude, her humbleness, her sweetness in her own little way, her adorable smile… ugh if I list down all of the attributes that I noticed, it would take us more than a day. Just… Hyo makes me smile. Even the simplest things that she does, she makes me smile.

But then, Yuri and Hyoyeon kissed?

 

I don’t know what this is… there’s something weird at the pit of the stomach. I feel sick. This is probably the alcohol but… ugh what is this feeling? Unconsciously, I am glaring at Yuri. God, why does it have to be Yuri? 

 

Flashback - the day after Tiffany’s birthday

Everyone was wasted after Tiffany’s birthday last night. Hyoyeon and Yuri left right after Yuri came back from the bathroom. I don’t know if it was the alcohol but last night, I invited Hyoyeon for dinner at my place. Yes, only Hyoyeon. I have no idea when it started but I cannot stop looking at her. I get butterflies when I am with her. Thanks to that tequila, I had the courage to invite her. I just want to confirm if my suspicions are correct, that I do like Hyoyeon. More than a friend.

 

I am so nervous. It is 5 hours before sundown and I am already panicking. She said she’ll call, right? God, I hope she’s free.

 

Kim Hyoyeon calling…

 

Oh my god, here it goes!

 

-Taeyeooon-ah!-

-Yah~ Hyo? What’s up?-

-Is dinner still up?-

-Yeah, are you free?-

-I think I’ll be finishing early. Should I bring anything?-

-Nah, just bring yourself.-

-Okaayyy!! Annyeoong~ see u lateer-

 

If I wasn’t panicking earlier, I certainly am panicking now. Hyoyeon is coming. 

 

5 HOURS LATER

 

To be honest, I am not prepared so I just cooked whatever I have here. I try not to make it obvious that the table is set only for two. I have no plans for tonight, I’ll just have dinner with her and see where that takes us. But I hope tonight confirms whatever feelings I have for her.

 

I ran as fast as I could the moment the door rang. The moment the metal knob made contact with my hand, my heart was beating so fast that I had to take three deep breaths before turning it and opening the door.

 

There she is, with the biggest smile on her face, holding a bottle of… is that wine or tequila? 

 

“Yah, aren’t you gonna let me in?” she nudged at me, while her eyes made contact with mine. She laughed. 

 

Her laugh. I could hear it all day. Every vibration of her laugh makes me shiver. God, Taeyeon. You are in big trouble. 

 

I opened the door for her and led her to the dining area. We talked about how her day went. She was shooting another featured project, she saw some SONEs today, she ate a biscuit and did not eat any real food for today, her manager didn’t want to give her ice cream. It’s like I memorized everything she just said. 

We were almost done with our food when I decided to tell her. I didn’t want to go back to that awkward stage with her just because I am hiding that I have a slight crush on her. 

 

“Taeyeon-ah, it feels like I am talking this entire time. Are you okay? Are you upset that the girls aren’t here?”

 

I looked up to her and saw her staring at me intently, with her brows furrowed and worry in her eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but no sound came out. I sighed and downed a shot of tequila before sighing deeply again.

 

“Hyo, whatever it is that I have to say, can you promise me one thing?”

 

Her expression changed from worried to even more worried. She nodded and gave me a sweet smile. 

 

“Okay…” I took another deep breath and closed my eyes. “Hyoyeonnie, I think I li—”

 

I was cut off by the sound of the doorbell. What? Who could it be?

 

“I’ll go get it” Hyoyeon slowly stood up and gave me a pat in the back, “It’s okay, tell me later”

 

I sighed deeply, and watched her walk away to go look at the person at the door. Who could it be? I didn’t invite anyone else. Ugh.

 

When Hyoyeon came, a girl was following her back to the table. She had this familiar teasing smirk. 

 

“YAH~ did our Taeyeon cook?” KWON. YURI.

 

“Yuri? What are you doing here?” I stood up and asked.

 

“Hyoyeon told me you invited all of us, so I’m here. Aren’t you happy to see me?” Yuri said with a familiar smug look on her face. Ugh. I know she’s not doing anything but God, why am I so pissed.

 

“I’ll just go to the bathroom, Yah~ Yuri-yah, help yourself!! Taeyeon is tired from cooking” Hyoyeon said as she walked away.

 

“Help yourself.” I said as I sat back down, getting a lime and downed another shot of tequila in front of me. 

 

Yuri sat across and smirked. She teasingly wiggled her brows and chuckled, “ruined your little date huh?”

 

“What are you talking about?”, I said as my brows furrowed. How did she…

“I never got an invite, Tae. Messaged the other girls and they didn’t get an invite either.” She leaned back on her seat and crossed her arms in front of her. She poured a shot of tequila and put it in front of me, and handed me another lime. I stared at her as she intensely stared at me. We heard the bathroom door open and Hyo’s footsteps. 

 

“Drink if you like her.” Yuri's last words before Hyoyeon came back. My eyes never left Yuri’s. I chuckled at her. I touched the glass of tequila and drank it. 

 

“Yah, Taeyeon, you’ve had enough” Hyoyeon said while abruptly getting the empty shot glass from me. Hyoyeon then looked at Yuri because my eyes never left her.

 

Yuri smirked and sighed, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” Yuri stood up and was preparing to leave. “Anyway, I have to go. I was just worried no one would come to Taeyeon’s dinner and now that you have Hyoyeon here, I think I’ll go. Yah~ Taeyeon. Alcohol makes you crazy.”

 

She winked at me and then left. Just like that.

 

“What is wrong with her?” Hyoyeon said, shocked with what Yuri did. 

 

I sighed and poured myself another shot. Honestly, I can feel my head throbbing already. I think I am getting tipsy and Hyoyeon seemed to notice.

 

“Taeyeon, let’s go watch something. Don’t drink anymore. I think you’re tipsy,” she grabbed the shot and drank it. She stood up and started to tidy everything up. 

 

“Hyo, I’ll do that.” I stood up and was about to take it from her but she stopped me and said, “nope, let me do this”

 

Honestly, I have no energy and am not in the right mind to fight. So I let her. Yuri’s question still echoes. I was determined to tell her that I like her but now, I don’t know.

 

Hyoyeon came back and looked at me, worried. 

 

“Yah, should I tell you a secret to cheer you up?” I smiled at her and nodded. 

 

“Let’s lay on my bed, my back is killing me” I offered. I slightly blushed when I realized what I just said. Hyoyeon just laughed at me and nodded.

 

As soon as we’re laying on my bed. I closed my eyes. The exhaustion, the tequila in my system, Yuri’s question, and the girl laying next to me, with her head turned and eyes staring at me. 

 

“Taeyeon-ah!” I hummed in response.

“Yuri kissed someone last night,” she said laughing. My eyes shot open and looked at her and laughed with her

 

“Really… who?????” I replied, still laughing.

 

“I won’t tell who, but yeah… God, I have no idea what it feels like anymore.” Hyoyeon said as she finished laughing. She sighed deeply and smiled. “When was the last time you kissed someone?”

 

Hyoyeon asked me. I am now leaning on my side so that I can look at her. She did the same and smirked. God, Hyoyeon, are you trying to kill me? 

 

I was staring at her eyes, then her nose. I closed my eyes and sighed before opening her eyes again. 

 

“I can’t even remember,” I whispered as I stared at her lips. Her lips formed a smile. I glanced up to look at her eyes, and see her still staring at me. Our eyes met and suddenly I saw the entire universe. I see how her eyes slowly glanced at my lips and then back to my eyes. She smiled, and leaned back, her back on my bed and her eyes on the ceiling of my room.

 

“You were about to tell me something.. before Yuri came.” Hyoyeon said in a slow manner. Can she hear my heart beat?

 

“Yeah,” I leaned back so I have my back on my bed and eyes on the ceiling as well. I took a deep breath and glanced at her on my side. She was already looking at me.

 

My heart is beating so fast that I feel like I can vomit my heart any minute now. Silence filled the room as I glanced at her, unsure whether I should tell her or not. Should I? No, I should. Whatever happens, I know I am not losing her. 

 

Whatever happens. 

 

I leaned once more on my side while my arms supported my head. I stared at her lips. God, I feel like any minute now I will not resist the urge to just kiss her, see if my lips fits he–... what the taeyeon?

 

“I.. uhm..” I chuckled and looked at her. “I like you, Hyoyeon.”

 

There are no butterflies. There are toe-clutching feelings. It was pure nervousness. It was awkward. It was filled with tension. It was filled with fear of risking everything for a feeling that I am not even 100% confident in admitting.

 

And she felt that, too. She smiled at me and nodded. Hyoyeon is not the type to be big on feelings. She often has a hard time conveying what she feels or how to respond in a situation. But she always had and always has the biggest heart among us. The way she’s looking at me right now tells me that she understands and she’s grateful. It makes me feel like she knows. I let out another chuckle and stared back at the ceiling. At my side, I feel her shifting and doing the same. Silence filled the room. 

 

“You didn’t invite the other girls, right?” 

“No,” she nodded.

 

“Just me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“That’s smooth.” she chuckled and stood up to take a seat beside me. I did the same but instead of looking at her, I was fidgeting with my fingers. 

 

“Taeng, I- uhm…” I can't hear the rest of her sentence. To be honest, I don’t even know. It is one of these days where I cannot read her. I am not even sure if she feels the same. I don’t wanna know so before she says anything, I have to stop her.

 

“Aren’t you going home? It’s late.”

 

“Are you drunk?”

 

“No.”

 

“Sure?”

 

“Yes.” I smiled at her, “Seriously, Hyo! It’s late. Don’t mind what I said earlier.”

 

She nodded. She was biting her lip. It was like she wanted to say something but can’t so she was just smiling at me. I escorted her up to the door. She turned to face me and asked, “did you mean it?”

 

“I don’t know”

 

“Right,” she looked down and sighed. She looked at me once more and let out another chuckle. “I guess I’ll go.”

 

She started walking towards the door. She didn’t utter a single word, so did I. We walked quietly. She grabbed her bag, and walked towards the door.

 

“Taeng,” the moment she stepped out of the door, she called out to me and faced me. 

“Yeah?”

 

“Tell me…” she said, “tell me when you’re not drunk.” she gave me a tight hug, and turned her back against me. She started walking continuously and never looked back, not even once.

 

God, why did I have to say ‘I don’t know’ when I did mean it? You ed up, Taeyeon.

 

End of Flashback

 

Right now, Hyoyeon is trying to defend herself from the teasing from the girls. Yuri was laughing so hard. If I am right, then it was her that kissed Yuri on Tiffany’s birthday. Then, the next day, I told her that I like her. 

 

I am so pissed. I feel like I sobered up. God, Hyoyeon, why are you playing with me?

 

The teasing continued, to my dismay, until the end of the bottle. I wasn’t in the mood anymore. I just want to sleep. Sunny and the other girls are cleaning up the area, while Hyoyeon is washing the dishes. I walked towards her to dump the remaining glasses.

 

She nodded at me and smiled. I didn’t smile back at all. I couldn’t pretend to be okay when I just wanted to punch her in the face. Wait, what? Why am I so angry? Hyoyeon, why are you breaking my heart? I feel like any minute now, tears are bound to escape my eyes.

 

“You okay, taeng?” She turned off the faucet and wiped her hands with the cloth, and then reached out to me. 

 

“Yeah,” I nodded and stepped away from her to lean on the counter. Should I ask? 

 

“So… Kwon Yuri, huh?” I said with a scoff. 

 

She let out a deep breath and faced me, “That… is just a misunderstanding, Taeng. I didn’t know Yuri-”

 

I cut her off before she could finish her sentence, I feel I’m not gonna like the end of this sentence, “...that Yuri is gonna tell that story. Right, I get it, Hyo!”

 

“Wait, why is your tone quite accusatory?” she asked. “What did I do to you, Taeyeon?”

“Nothing, I was just curious of–”

“Are.. you… Are you jealous?”

 

None of us uttered a word after the question. She was smirking at me, and then nodded. Before she gets back to washing the dishes, she told me, “Let’s talk, Taeyeon. Tonight. My room. Would that be okay?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Stop pouting, Taengoo” she teased, pinching my cheeks.

Wait a second… a minute ago I was so mad. Now, I have the biggest smile on my face. What the hell is happening?

I walked back to our living and saw that the girls had already finished cleaning. Sooyoung and Tiffany are talking while walking back to their room. Sunny and Yoona are on the couch, still talking. I saw Seohyun walking towards me.

 

“Unnieeee~ should we go back to our room?” I glanced back at Hyoyeon and saw that she was looking at me as well. She smiled at me and nodded. I nodded back and turned my attention back to whatever our hyper maknae was saying. We walked past Yuri who gave me a meaningful look.

“Seohyun-ahh~” Yuri called out. We stopped walking and faced Yuri who is now in front of us, “I missed you, maknae!! I have so much to tell you!!” 

“Really, unnie?” 

“Ofcourse!!” Yuri turned her attention to me and said, “Taeng, would it be okay if I sleep with Seohyun tonight.” 

Yuri gave me a teasing smile. 

I-uhm… My heart is beating so fast that I can feel my heart is about to rip out of my chest. I simply nodded because I cannot trust my voice enough for this. 

Seohyun, clueless as she is, smiles cheekily and links  arms with Yuri. They went to Seo and I’s room. I started making my way to Yuri and Hyo’s room. Why is my heart beating so fast? 

I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the picture of Bailey on Hyo’s side of the bed. Bailey looks awfully similar to Zero. Cute! As I was looking at the picture, I heard the door open and close. I didn’t turn my head because 1) I know it is Hyoyeon, and 2) I am so nervous. I felt the weight beside me shifted, meaning someone sat beside me. I am so nervous that I cannot look. 

 

“Taeyeooon-ah!!”~ she whined. 

Here we go.

---

"I did mean it, Hyo! A year late, but back then, I meant it. I was too scared to admit it before, but I did- I really di---"

Before I can finish my sentence I felt her reach out to my hand, pulling me closer to her. Next thing I know...

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