“This café looks… average,” Hyukjae concluded once he finished looking around and inspecting the surroundings.

It was average indeed. After all, it was just a premise Donghae chose to spend his birthday at; there was nothing special about it. Just a quiet café, similar to many others, without outstanding décor elements or anything. It had to stay like this, however, fate was quite talented in turning the regular things into something life-changing.

None of them knew what was going to happen to the boy when Donghae and his friends entered it that day. And he was pretty much sure none of the customers knew what happened even now. They probably heard about something as cruel and absolutely unacceptable as the teen’s murder in the news, yet the café wasn’t the place where the incident occurred, so the name wasn’t mentioned. They probably had no idea that unfortunate child was having fun here before going outside and dying.

Maybe the workers knew, since the police had to interrogate them and ask whether they remembered the visitors from that day. But… there was nothing interesting they managed to learn because no one knew where Donghae went after, whether he was alone or not, so they absolutely had no clue about those who could murder him.

The boy sighed, suddenly feeling like he was in a deadlock or something, and said, “Yeah, it is. I chose it simply because it’s not too crowded and not too far from school. This place is nothing special for real.”

They looked at each other, however, Hyukjae didn’t look like he was unpleased or disappointed, or whatever.

“But you hoped to see something here, right?” he asked instead. “You said we have to look for the clues.”

“I did say that. But I must admit… I don’t know what clues we’re looking for. I hoped that I could come here and remember something, but…” Donghae shook his head. “Nothing comes to mind. I remember coming here with Jaechan and Wheesung, remember what we ordered, but then… No details. I don’t even remember how we said goodbye to each other. I hoped I could remember something here.”

The boy shook his head once again, indicating there still was nothing in his memory that could be of interest. Hyukjae nodded in understanding and looked around again; some people were eyeing them for they were standing near the entrance for a while already. There was one waitress who was eyeing them with interest as well and, once her eyes met Hyukjae’s, she smiled and asked, “May I help you? Would you like to choose a table?”

The older guy looked at Donghae, and the latter’s eyes widened as he wasn’t ready for someone approaching them, so he mumbled, “Ah, I… I don’t know.”

Hyukjae hummed and, looking back at the girl who seemed barely older than the two of them – probably still a student as well, working here part-time – said, “We’d like a table for two, but… In the corner? We wanted to do homework – of course we will order something too – so we need a quiet place.”

Donghae’s eyes widened even more, meanwhile the girl nodded and said, “Follow me.”

They did as was told, and the younger boy hissed into Hyukjae’s ear, “Why would we want to do homework?”

“We don’t,” the other replied calmly. “I just figured that you might remember something if we spend more time here. If not, at least we could sit and decide on what to do next.”

They reached the table and the waitress offered them a seat and explained that they had to scan the QR code to see their menu if they wanted to order something and press the button on the table to call for her. Once she left, Hyukjae scanned the code casually and looked at the menu, frowning a little.

“They mostly offer sweets or pizza.”

“Which is a perfect choice for someone’s birthday.”

“Maybe if you’re five.” Hyukjae tried to not smirk once he noticed Donghae’s displeased expression. “Let’s order though; maybe you’ll remember something while we’ll be here.”

“And if not?” The boy his lips and, before the other managed to say something, added, “I thought about it. About the fact that I might not remember anything here. So I thought that maybe we could go to…” He looked around as if someone could eavesdrop them and then locked his eyes on Hyukjae’s with a serious expression on his face. “To the place where I was killed.”

The guy raised his eyebrows, suddenly feeling a bit taken aback by this reminder of his friend’s death, and asked, “You remember where exactly they killed you?”

Donghae shook his head, “I don’t remember anything. But I know the area where it is. More or less. And… maybe I’ll be able to remember the exact place. I kind of… know where I went. So maybe I could recall more if I went there. I’ve no better options anyway. I’m really done with sitting and crying like a poor sad weak boy, I want to do something.”

Hyukjae looked at the menu one more time, although he didn’t even read a word in it. It took him a few seconds to nod eventually.

“Let’s go there if you want to. Maybe it’ll help you for real. But,” now it was his turn to look into Donghae’s eyes with the most serious expression he only could offer, “you’re not a weak sad boy. You never were. I highly doubt there’re many people who’d be willing to explore the place where they died, facing their fears just like that.”

Surprisingly, the boy smirked, “I highly doubt there’re many people who were brought back to life to be able to do that.”

Hyukjae smirked back, “Well, that’s true.”

Both chuckled and looked into their menus, trying to at least pretend they actually planned to order something.

The waitress must’ve taken it as a signal for she approached them again and, looking at Hyukjae with the widest smile ever, asked, “Maybe I could help you with making a choice?”

Donghae examined her attentively and, realizing she wasn’t paying attention to him at all, looked at the guy who was sitting right in front of him just to check his reaction. Hyukjae, in his usual manner, didn’t even try to be as friendly to someone as he was to Donghae.

“Yeah, I’m… not a fan of sweet things. And don’t feel like eating pizza. Is there anything else I could try? Preferably with meat.”

“Oh, sure. We actually have some salads and even a steak, I believe. If you don’t mind?..”

She pointed at the guy’s phone showing the menu as if asking for a permission to show what they’ve got on it, and Hyukjae allowed the girl to come even closer – though Donghae didn’t know why would that be needed – and look for the offers in it.

The thing is, the girl wasn’t doing much. Maybe she paid more attention to Hyukjae and kept sending him shy smiles, maybe she laughed a bit more and even louder than she should when he was talking, maybe she only remembered about Donghae at the very end, but that was it. She didn’t say anything inappropriate and it actually wasn’t rare for people to flirt in the cafés or anything. She didn’t comment on how she likes him, didn’t do unnecessary moves. She basically just smiled and was very friendly. Maybe she wasn’t flirting even.

But in Donghae’s eyes, she was too much. With every smile, with every look. With the fact she was beautiful and cute. With the fact that she seemed like such a nice girl he couldn’t even roll his eyes at her or something and felt absolutely helpless in that situation.

“She liked you,” the boy said once the girl left to pass their order and approach other customers. He was following her with his eyes and didn’t notice that Hyukjae gave him a confused look.

“Who?” the guy asked, frowning.

Donghae looked at him and spoke calmly, “The girl. She was flirting with you.”

A pause.

“She wasn’t flirting with me,” Hyukjae spoke after blinking a few times.

“She clearly was. You probably didn’t notice because it differs from how they do it in the games.”

Surprisingly, Hyukjae smirked. It almost looked like a genuine smile from him, and Donghae still was waiting for the time when the guy will finally let his guard down and allow himself to smile widely and genuinely in front of him.

“Funny,” the older guy said. “My mom told me something similar. That she’s afraid I’m going to miss something out because my gaming experience won’t allow me to notice it.”

Donghae gave him a long look.

“You’re definitely missing something out,” he said.

“Am I?”

They looked into each other’s eyes, and once again – the time seemed to freeze around them. The girl brought their drinks, yet they didn’t even pay much attention – mumbled their thanks and that was it. Hyukjae didn’t notice the sad look she gave him after that. Donghae did though.

He looked at the girl and said, “If you asked for her number, she’d probably give it to you.”

“And why would I do that?”

Donghae looked at his drink, at red lemonade that was supposed to taste like strawberries or whatever. He didn’t remember what he ordered; the boy simply wanted to distract himself by looking at something different. He didn’t succeed.

“Aren’t you curious about how dating someone would be?” the boy spoke quietly. “Not in the game, but… in real life.”

Hyukjae took a deep breath.

“Generally, I’m not.” Donghae’s heart dropped when he heard it for some reason. “But lately… I’ve been thinking about it more than I’d like to admit.”

And now, the boy’s heart was pounding. So fast. So loud. His palms got sweaty and he wanted to look at Hyukjae, but for some reason he was afraid to do so. He gulped.

“If you did,” Donghae drawled, “why won’t you try it out? Maybe not with her, but…”

Pause again. Things got so awkward all of a sudden.

“With whom?” Hyukjae asked, and if only Donghae wasn’t so preoccupied with his own feelings he would’ve noticed how the guy’s voice cracked when he did that.

Hyukjae gulped as well and took a sip of his own drink – a non-alcoholic mojito he came to enjoy recently. He wanted to get rid of the dryness in his throat, on his lips, but the drink came out so sour all of a sudden. The guy wondered why did he order it even.

Donghae took a deep breath in and took a sip of his own lemonade, feeling like it didn’t help him at all.

His mind was empty. He had to come up with an answer; any answer that would be appropriate in such situation, but…

“With me,” he said instead. “You did say I was the only one you could do it with, didn’t you?”

And that was honest. That was so painfully honest and scary at the same time. It was scary because it was revealing; it made Donghae feel vulnerable all of a sudden. It also scared him because it made him admit that this whole time the feelings he had towards Hyukjae were… deeper than he though. It made him admit that – dear lord – it definitely was a crush. No, way more. It was an attraction, an attachment that passed the ‘crush’ phase. It was a ‘like’, but not a friendly form of ‘like’, it was… it was quite close to ‘love’ even.

Donghae was so close to saying he fell in love with Hyukjae.

The boy’s eyes widened.

Damn.

Damn, he actually…

He did fall in love with him.

Seeing his reaction, Hyukjae, who already had an indescribable mix of emotions, frowned in confusion. After looking so determined, Donghae now seemed… lost and even scared. Every emotion found its reflection on the boy’s face, and Hyukjae, who was struggling with his own mix of emotions, got lost himself.

They were looking at each other as if seeing one another for the first time; one didn’t know what to focus on, another one focusing on that one revelation he made.

“Say something,” Donghae whispered; pleaded. “Please.”

Their eyes met once again, and Hyukjae breathed, “You remain the only one I’d be able to do it with.”

The boy, on contrary, held his breath while asking, “Would you?”

Hyukjae his lips, and that was probably the first time when Donghae saw him being so nervous.

“I’m the only one who keeps answering your questions. That’s unfair,” he said. And then, before the boy managed to speak, asked, “Would you?”

As odd as that was, Donghae didn’t even hesitate when saying, “I would.”

They were sitting in front of each other; Hyukjae was on the boy’s left though. The table was small and round, so that their elbows touched when they leaned closer to speak quietly as none of them wanted others to hear their clumsy exchange of feelings. Maybe that’s why the two didn’t even notice that they were closer, much closer to each other than people normally would be. Especially their faces.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy for Donghae to lean in once he heard Hyukjae saying, “I would, too.”

The older guy didn’t even manage to process what he blurted out – seemed like his brain decided to just let everything out before even agreeing upon with Hyukjae himself – so once he noticed the boy leaning closer, so their faces were literally a breath away from one another, as if they were going to kiss, he moved back.

“I don’t want to,” he said quietly, trying to sound as soft as he could to not make this rejection too painful.

Donghae looked like pure confusion; his eyes widened a little, the boy’s lips froze, forming a perfectly shaped ‘o’ when he literally stopped breathing while looking at Hyukjae.

“You don’t want… what?” the younger asked, tilting his head. “Didn’t you say you would?”

“I would. But kissing here is…”

“Kissing?” Donghae’s eyes widened even more. “I didn’t try to kiss you!”

Now it was Hyukjae’s turn to widen his eyes, “You didn’t?”

“No!”

“Why… why did you lean in so close then? I heard you perfectly fine even before.”

The boy’s cheeks reddened; he furrowed his brows and almost looked like that angry red emoji you often see on your phone keyboard. Apart from the fact that he didn’t look exactly angry, more like… kind of frustrated?

“I wanted to tell you something. Very quietly.”

Hyukjae quirked an eyebrow, “And what is that?”

“It…” The older guy almost slammed his head against the table because Donghae’s expression changed once again. He didn’t get time to process his own feelings properly even, and already had to rush after the boy’s. He was so behind when it came to this, and the fact that the younger looked genuinely hurt now was quite puzzling for him. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It mattered two seconds ago. What changed?”

Donghae looked away, focusing on nothing in particular, and he seemed genuinely offended when speaking, “You don’t want to kiss me.”

The boy felt hurt and… and embarrassed. Hey, he didn’t even try to kiss Hyukjae and still got rejected! And what if he wanted to? Isn’t it a natural thing to do after all these revealing touchy-feely conversations? Hyukjae said he would, and Donghae took it as he would try to date him. He wanted to say something important, but… dating includes those things, right? Hugs. Kisses. And Hyukjae not wanting to do that with him only meant…

“I never said that,” the guy said, making the other groan in frustration.

“You said you didn’t want to!” Donghae hissed, looking at Hyukjae with watery eyes already. He didn’t want to cry, but he was so frustrated that those tears formed there without his active participation. “What kind of game are you playing with me?”

“No games!” Hyukjae hissed back, trying hard for others to not hear them, but something told him that even if they didn’t, them hissing like two angry cats already got attention of a few people. “I said I didn’t want to do it here, not that I didn’t want to do it at all! There’re so many people around and you kno