"Stop it. Just stop it all, Sooyun."

Sungyeol's words echoed in my mind as I made my way forwards, the ghost of the conversation I'd just had haunting me like a bad memory stuck on repeat.

"Stop caring about what others will say, stop acting like what you think isn't important, and stop pretending that you're completely fine with everything!"

The vague smile I'd given my friend had slowly slipped off my face- I now made my way past empty classrooms with a blank, vacant expression. My shoes clacked loudly on the polished tiles of the floor, sounding sharply in the empty corridor I was moving through.

Bzz, bzz.

In my pocket, I could feel my cell phone start to vibrate and come to life. Mechanically, I took it out and saw Sungyeol's name flashing on the screen. I ignored it, though, and stuffed it back in my pocket. Sungyeol, like the stubborn guy he was, may not have quite been ready to drop the topic, but I was. I didn't want to talk anymore about the exam placements, or how I felt about them, which was the main reason why I'd said I would leave to meet Himchan. Actually, I didn't really feel much like seeing my boyfriend at the moment, either. But I was already on my way there, and figured I would have to see him sooner or later in the day, so I continued along the deserted hall to where the student council room lay ahead.

My phone buzzed again. Sungyeol was obviously still waiting to talk to me, but I ignored it once more as I stopped in front of the council room. Glancing with disinterest at the "BUSY" sign taped on the front, I grasped the metal handle, slid open the door, and went as still as a statue when I saw what activity was taking place inside.

Touching, kissing, caressing, heavy breathing- two bodies were pressed tightly together as I saw my boyfriend make very intimate contact with a faceless girl.

A girl who wasn't me.

Have no marring weaknesses, only unbeatable strengths...

He had his back turned to me, but I could tell it was him by the platinum blonde of his hair and familiar tall, lean physique. At the sound of the door opening, the two quickly jumped apart. They hastily started fixing their rumpled shirts and disheveled hair, fumbling to hide evidence of their actions. When he saw that it was just me, however, he stopped with his frantic motions and cocked a brow in my direction.

"Oops!" The girl peeked at my silent form and giggled, buttoning up her open blouse. She didn't look familiar, but her rather mature looks and unrecognisable name tag (different grades were assigned different coloured tags) told me that she was at least a year or two older than myself.

'So now you're going for the older women, huh, Himchan?' I thought silently at the blonde male.

The girl grabbed her school tie, which had been tossed aside on the desk she'd been pushed up against, and slung it carelessly around her neck. Even from where I was standing, I could see the occasional hickey mark scattered here and there on the smooth alabaster of her skin. "I guess it's time for me to leave now... Call me later, Himchan!" Without waiting for a reply, she winked suggestively at the younger boy and swiftly pushed her way past me. The door slammed shut with a loud thud.

"... Sooyun." I flickered my gaze from the door to my boyfriend, who was leaning against the desk with a casual air. "What are you doing here right now? I told you not to come in the mornings if there wasn't a meeting going on." Kim Himchan, the president of Woollim High's student body, tilted his head at me in an inquiring, almost amused fashion. He didn't bother apologizing for the scene I'd just witnessed, didn't bother trying to lie his way out of it by saying that she had been kissing him, not the other way around. He merely looked at me expectantly and waited for me to tell him what I was here for, and why I had interrupted his 'fun time' with the older girl.

'Just like all the other times I've caught him doing this... What would the school say if they knew that popular, handsome, easy-going president Kim Himchan is really this kind of two-faced bastard?'

But of course, that would never happen. Himchan was all too careful about who he showed his real colours too, which was rarely anybody at all. In fact, I thought I was probably the only person who knew what his true personality was like, being his vice-president and 'girlfriend'. The School Idol Couple, people had dubbed the two of us when they'd found out I'd (stupidly) accepted Himchan's confession. The perfect school president and the perfect honours student together, like a sweet, destined match made in heaven.

I wanted to laugh at the irony of it.

Himchan made an impatient tsk with his tongue and stopped looking amused. His lip curled slightly when he realized I wasn't going to dignify his question with a response. "Whatever, it makes no difference now. It was probably too much for a stupid girl like you to remember, anyways. Why they call you the school's smartest and most perfect, I have no idea." He rolled his eyes scornfully, as if to further show his contemptuous thoughts of me.

That was it. I'd had enough of him and his disdainful remarks. Deciding that it was time to leave, I made to walk out, without having even said anything to the guy. 'If that's what you think, then why are you even bothering with dating me?'  I asked in my head. But deep down, I knew what the answer was already. Himchan liked the idea of having the school's number one as his girlfriend too much to let me go. It made him look better as Woollim's amazing school prez, and just a guy in general. 'Another perk of being perfect Choi Sooyun...'

"Oh, and Sooyun?" he called as I was making my way out of the room. I stopped half-way though the door and looked back over my shoulder. He was smirking now, as if his insults were already behind him and he'd found a different matter to provoke me with. "I heard about this year's results. Fourth place? Tsk, tsk, Sooyun. Not exactly your best effort now, is it?"

His mocking laughter rang in my ears as I turned and walked away. Not for the first time, I wondered why it had to be Kim Himchan, and what was stopping me from dumping him and breaking free.

--------

It was now the end of the school day. I found myself at my locker, getting ready to leave for home. As I slowly stacked my books on the top shelf, ignoring the gaping stares and hushed whispers of passing students ("Hey, there's Sooyun! Did you know that she didn't come in first this year? That's like, unheard of!"), a tall male figure loped up to me, bag slung over his shoulder and jacket already zipped on.

"Hey, Sooyun," Sungyeol greeted, coming to a stop beside me. I paused in my movements to glance over at the boy, not saying a word but nodding to acknowledge his presence. He took this as a sign to continue. "Look, I'm sorry about going off like that this morning. You probably weren't in the mood for that kind of crap, and I bet it was really annoying to hear, coming from me."

I kept quiet in response. After a few seconds of staring at his apologetic, waiting expression, I went back to methodically packing my bag. Finally, just as Sungyeol opened his mouth to demand a reply from me, I looked back at him with a little smile. "It's alright, Yeol, I understand. You were only trying to be a good friend. How could I get mad when my best friend is just worried about me? I actually appreciated it," I said lightly, and shut the door to my locker.

Sungyeol peered somewhat suspiciously at me. He looked as if he was trying to figure out if I honestly meant the words I was saying. "Oh. Okay, then," he said, casting a doubtful look at my smiling face. I shook my head and jerked it towards the main doors.

"Are you ready to go home now?" I asked, starting to make my way out. Sungyeol suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. As I glanced back at him, wondering why he had paused, I saw a weird look cross his face. It was like hearing my question had made him forget his suspicions about my smile.

"Ah, no, I can't walk with you today," he said dodgedly. I tilted my head to look up at him with a questioning expression. This wasn't the first time he had told me to go home alone. Lately, for the past few months or so, Sungyeol would disappear as soon as the final bell rang. He left so quickly that I had no chance of asking him where he was heading off to all by himself, and in such a mysterious manner, too. It wasn't for home, that was for certain. The two of us lived right next door to each other, so I would have seen him sneaking around our houses without me.

"Today as well? Doesn't that make it the third time this week? What are you always doing on your own?" I asked in a mildly curious tone. Sungyeol chuckled nervously.

"Oh, you know, this and that," he replied vaguely, waving an airy hand around. "My uncle's been really sick lately, so I have to, ah, take care of his dog for him. I always have to walk and feed it at exactly this time, or it turns into a total Tasmanian freak on a leash. Speaking of which," he checked his wrist for the time, which was completely devoid of all time-telling devices. "I'd better go now! I still have some history homework to finish, too."

I pondered on his fleeting words as I watched my friend make his hasty exit. A slight frown surfaced on my face when I came to a sudden, troubling realization.

"Sungyeol, you don't have an uncle..."

---------

The front hallway lights were off and everything was silent when I stepped inside my house, but thanks to the silver Honda Civic I'd seen parked in the driveway, I knew that someone had arrived home before me. Therefore, I wasn't surprised at all to see myr mother sitting on the sofa when I entered the living room.

"Sit," was her curt greeting, pointing to the matching couch standing opposite of her. On the small table placed in between the couches, a single, official-looking piece of paper lay on the flat surface. Briefly, I wondered what it could be before bowing politely, seating myself obediently like she had commanded.

The older woman waited until I was sitting down, lips pressed together in a hard line. Her eyes scrutinized my every move like a cobra stalking its defenceless prey. "I received a letter from your school today," she began, breaking the icy silence at last. She nodded once at the letter in front of her, as if to provide evidence for her words. "About last year's mandated exams, and what you placed in them."

Ah... So that was what the paper was for. I thought that might have been the case. The logo printed at the top had looked familiar when I'd first glanced at it- I now realized that it was my school's crest. But, so soon? I hadn't known that today was the day letters would be sent home, informing parents of their child's performance in the previous year's testing. And now, judging from the stony look of displeasure on my mother's face, I had a pretty good idea of what was coming next.

No matter how much it kills you on the inside...

"Three places," she said quietly, lips barely moving as she addressed me tersely. "From first place in all of the other times, you've slipped a total of three spots to the fourth place you're in this year. After reading this letter, all sorts of conclusions and assumptions came to my head, but I'll give you a chance right now before I make up my mind. Do you care to explain, Choi Sooyun, why and how this possibly happened?"

Keeping my head slightly down, I avoided her chilling glare and stared instead at the paper lying on the table. "I'm very sorry," was all I said in a low monotone voice. I kept my gaze fixed on the letter. It had looked so innocent at first, when I'd entered the room. Now, it seemed to mock me in a non-verbal way, printed words floating to the top and jumbling into an inky, non-whimsical mess in my eyes.

It was then that my mother exploded.

"Sorry? You're sorry? Is that all you have to say at the moment?! You're not going to bother with any excuses, or try to redeem yourself by promising to succeed next year?!"

I kept quiet because, really, what she was saying was essentially true. I didn't have anything else to say to her, especially not any excuses that would only be half-formed lies, or promises I wasn't sure I actually meant to keep.

... never let your pain and struggles show through...

After a long moment of tense and austere silence, my mother made a harsh, impatient tsking sound. She leaned forward to pluck the letter off the table with a single fluid movement.

"Your father and I do not pay for your education to have you slack off, Choi Sooyun." She rose from the sofa and started walking out of the room, but not before giving me a final icy look of disapproval. "Get your marks back up to where they should be, or better. I expected nothing less than 100% of you... If they don't improve by next term, I will do something about it myself."

She left, and I sat motionless on the couch for a long, long time after.