A right turn here, a left turn there, fifty metres straight ahead, and then another left turn... I lost track of my bearings as I followed the boy through the winding alleyway. It seemed to be an endless path, as I felt like I had been walking for ages and ages. There were no street lamps to light my way, so I had to be careful not to step on littered garbage or scuff my feet too loudly. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want the boy to hear me trailing behind him, didn’t want him to be aware of my presence just yet.

Actually, I didn’t even know why I was following him in the first place. When I'd spotted him in the alley on my way out, all thoughts of heading home had immediately vanished from my mind, replacing themselves with the overwhelming desire to pursue my saviour. It was stupid, I knew, to follow a guy whom I'd only ever seen twice in my life. A voice in the back of my head nagged at me to get out of there, to leave while I still had a chance. I dismissed it, however, and continued along my way. 'If he really was a bad guy, then he wouldn't have saved me from that drunk man...

'Right?'

The boy suddenly came to a halt a short distance away. His figure became static and his footsteps ceased to sound, bringing silence back to the foreboding alley. Instinctively, I stopped as well. Hesitation and uncertainty started to creep into my thoughts. What to do now? Go up and strike a conversation with him? I hadn’t really had anything other than “follow-unknown-stranger-into-suspicious-place-in-middle-of-night” planned when I’d taken off. Now, staring at his motionless backside, I bit my lip, brain scrambling wildly to come up with a plan.

“Leave.”

I gave an involuntary jump. The boy spoke quietly, like he had before, but with such a deadly sense of purpose that there was no mistaking his words. I automatically opened my mouth to answer, but closed it when I realized I had no idea what to say. Hello? Nice to meet you? Thank you for earlier? For the first time in a long while, I found myself speechless and completely unsure of what to do next. Responses that would usually come out with little thought were nowhere to be found now, replies that I would give with the confidence of Choi Sooyun nowhere to be seen.

“Leave,” he repeated, glancing at me over his shoulder. His obsidian eyes travelled over my rooted feet, up my legs, past my torso, until at last, they came to a stop on my face. I stiffened up when his intense stare met mine. No sound came out of my mouth and I didn't dare move a muscle, not with those deep, black eyes boring into mine. They held my gaze as if he had the power to see into my very soul, as if he could see beneath the mask I wore as my 'perfect' self.

As if he could see what I really thought about myself and the life I was forced to live.

The boy took one last, expressionless look at me, not uttering another word the whole while. Then, finally breaking his stare, he slowly turned his head and started forward once more.

“This isn’t a place for someone like you. Go home.” His ominous warning hung in the air as he disappeared further into the alley, where faint voices could now be heard up ahead.

I stayed put this time, though, and simply stared after him. 'Not a place for someone like me? What does he mean by that?' I narrowed my eyes at the waiting darkness in front. What was so bad that this alley, apparently, was not for me? Did he think that, from seeing what had happened before, I wasn't tough enough to face whatever he had just walked into? And how long had he known that I was following him? The boy hadn't seemed suprised at all when he'd addressed me and told me to go home. If he had been aware from the beginning that I was trailing him, why hadn't he spoken earlier?

A few minutes passed like that before I decided that I wasn't going to get any answers just standing there. Wordlessly, I set off again, but almost immediately slowed down when the voices became louder than before.

"Got anything different today? And maybe something cheaper, too? I'm not getting paid 'till next week." A hoarse voice, perhaps one of a man a few years older than me, was the first whose words I could make out. He sounded focused and preoccupied with whatever matter he was talking about. I briefly wondered how great that matter was, for the man appeared to be more concerned with it rather than the fact that he was here, in a suspicious alley, meeting with someone else at a very wary time.

A second male answered him. His low, smooth voice was like a whisper in the night compared to his companion's raspier one. "I see you're tiring of your usual orders, sir. It's a good thing I brought these with me tonight." There was the rustle of clothes being parted aside, then the crinkling of plastic bags as the person held them up for his friend to see.

"How about this one, right here? Will LSD be enough to satisfy both you and your wallet...?"

I froze in place. Was I hearing right? LSD? Plastic bags? An order of something 'cheaper'? The two people were still hidden and cloaked by the shadows, but... Was there an actual dealing going on, just a few feet away from me? Was this why the boy had thought- no, knew I would be out of place here? Because people were dealing drugs? Although there wasn't anything to confirm or deny the act, something in my gut told me that I was right. Against my better judgement, I cautiously began to edge forwards, taking tiny steps as to not attract any attention.

"... Nah, not that. Last time I used acid, I found myself in a jail cell half-." By now, I could faintly make out the outlines of the males against the dark background. One step... Two steps... Three more steps, and I was able to see the two in better detail. The raspy-voiced one, the guy who had asked for a different, cheaper deal, was squinting at the bag filled with tiny pills. He shook his head at the dealer, who was facing my way but somehow still blending in with the shadows.

The dealer shrugged, slipping the bag back into his pocket. At this motion, I frowned and took another step closer. Although I was certain that I had never dealt with drugs in my life, there was something strangely familiar about this guy. His low voice, albeit deeper and quieter than I was used to hearing, reminded me of one I heard almost everyday. In fact, now that I thought about it, hadn't I spoken to a person with a voice like his this very morning? And his actions... His tall figure and flow of movement brought to mind someone I was sure I knew... Someone very close to me...

Before I had the chance to think any more on that, the faceless male dug into his pocket once more. This time he brought out a smaller bag, half-filled with colourful tablets. Orange, blue, purple, red... The pastel capsules seemed to clear some of the darkness away, shining dully in the palm of their holder.

"If not the LSD, then may I suggest this?" He gently shook the little bag. I stared as the pills tumbled about in their confines, captivated by their pale, pasty, but glowing colours. "MDMA, otherwise known as ecstasy. I'm sure you've heard the stories about it... But have you ever experienced firsthand how this drug feels? One dose of this, and you can forget about all the troubles weighing you down. One dose of this, and freedom and happiness will be yours to command. Yes, a single dose is all you need to feel what this stimulant is so named after: ecstasy. Just say the word, good sir, and this beautiful escape from reality can be yours."

Beautiful escape from reality... Hearing these words triggered a rush of emotions within myself: fury, disappointment, bitterness, and despair. I remembered the reactions my classmates had given at my ranking, the way my boyfriend had looked down on his nose at me, and my mother's icy glares at the exam letter. 'This is what I'm faced with every day as Choi Sooyun- no joy. No happiness. Just absolute misery.' The more I thought about it, seeing each and every one of their stares in my mind, the more I knew. I wanted it. I wanted that getaway from my life.

Not for the first time that night, my body moved of its own accord, quicker than my mind could process. Before I knew what was happening, my feet started taking me to where the deal was going on. I kept my eyes fixed on the little baggie in hand, never losing sight of that beautiful escape.

"I'll take it." My voice, dry from keeping quiet for so long, cracked as I spoke. I cleared my throat and tried again, shuffling forwards to show myself to the dealer.

"I'll take it," I repeated, this time louder and more sure of my decision. I subconsciously reached out for the drugs, wanting to feel, to hold, to touch the object that would bring me the escape I so craved. Vaguely, I wondered what the cost for the MDMA was, but dismissed it when I realized I didn't care. It didn't matter how expensive the price for happiness would be. Whatever it was, I would pay it and more, just for that one delicious taste of freedom. "How much do you want for it-"

Before I could finish your question, the hand yanked back the little bag, keeping it out of reach of my fingers. Startled, my head instinctively jerked up to follow the sudden movement. What my eyes saw next, however, was something I was completely and totally not prepared for.

"Sooyun?" The male who was offering the drugs flinched, as if the sight of me was too much to bear. Hands shaking, he staggered back a step, moving out of the darker shadows and into a spot where I could see him better. Shocked eyes, dark unruly hair, and a wide mouth that was practically dropping to the floor... It was as if a fist had grabbed tight hold of my insides, tying them into a thousand writhing, twisting knots. I stared at the person who held possession of countless illegal substances, the one whom I'd thought of as all-too familiar, the one who was supposed to have done his homework and walked his non-existant uncle's dog that day.

I was looking at the face of my lying, drug dealing best friend.

"Sungyeol...?"