Minho flinched when he felt a hand around his shoulder. His older brother gave him a warm smile. He had to swallow and his heavy breathing became a little easier.

Since Minho's 18th birthday, he had been working at his father's company on the weekends, or much more was being taught what to do. Minseok would take it over one day, but Minho would become his right-hand man.

Minseok was seven years older than himself. Just like him, he was tall and slender in nature. But where Minho's ears were small and his eyes large, Minseok's eyes were narrower and his ears all the larger. You could tell they were related, but you wouldn't immediately assume they were brothers.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked, and it seemed to Minho that this was not the first time he had asked him this question that day.

Minho looked around. At the long wooden table in the office sat men dressed in fine suits waiting for his answer. What exactly they had discussed, he had not caught.

How long had he been sitting there?

A joke tried to form in Minho's mind. But the more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he felt. They sat there in their warm and comfortable offices and decided how the people who did the actual work had to do it. And if it wasn't fast enough, they could always find other workers who would do the same work faster, for less money. 

It made no sense to him.

His father’s company was responsible for logging and deforestation. Its main purpose was to create new housing or other land uses through this process.

The pressure around his shoulder tightened and he tried to focus on his brother again. He nodded, slowly at first, then with a little more confidence. He looked Minseok firmly in the eye.

"I am."

"Very well."

Minseok patted him on the shoulder and handed him a piece of paper. Minho took it but his eyes paid no attention to the note. They slid over to the silver ring on Minseok's finger.

Minseok is married.

The scent of grass and dirt invaded Minho's nose.

Married.

I wanted to get married once too, didn't I?

"What are you doing?"

The little boy looked at Minho's skillful fingers. Minho unfortunately couldn't answer his friend, he was too concentrated. Blade of grass after blade of grass he swung around, crafting something. Minho had to focus, because after all, it had to fit perfectly.

When Minho had set the last interlacing, he looked to see that no blade was sticking out or could fall out. He smiled when he realized that it had turned out just perfect.

"Here." He said and took the other boy's small hand.

With shining eyes, the brown-haired one looked at the green circle that adorned his ring finger.

"What's that?" he asked.

"A ring you silly."

"A ring?"

"Yes, when we get married we need rings."

"When are we getting married?"

Minho pondered.

"As soon as I finish school and get a good job. I promise you I will work very hard."

He took the boy's hands in his, but instead of looking at a happy face, sad eyes met his.

"I don't want you to work."

"But-"

"If you're going to be working all day, why are we getting married? What's the point of getting married if we can't live life together?"

Minho did not understand what the boy meant. His parents were married too. One had to work, that was how it was in marriage, and how it was in life. How else were you supposed to earn money? How else could you afford a house and food?

The other stayed at home cooking, taking care of the household and raising the children.

In his younger years, he had hardly seen his parents spend their marriage together.

"And then you come home and you're too tired to play." Whined his counterpart.

His father had not played with him for a long time. When he came home from work, Minho was usually already in bed. Sometimes when he was still awake, he could hear the TV being .

Why did people get married?

When was the last time his parents laughed together?

He could always laugh with him. With Taemin.

Taemin.

I even gave you a name.

Taemin.

Such a beautiful name.

Minho's heart started to race. A cold breeze blew around him. He went to the window and looked out. The office had emptied by now, when and how, he hadn't noticed, and at that moment Minho didn't care anyway. He knew his name again. Minho had to smile. How long had it been since he had thought of his imaginary friend? It must have been ten years.

He needed his pills to concentrate, but he wanted to enjoy this cozy feeling. This feeling of warmth and security. The feeling, he had almost forgotten what it felt like, but there it was. It spread inside him and filled him - like a dam that was destined to burst. This feeling he had only when Taemin was by his side.

Why now?

The first flower grew in Minho's withered soil and with it a thousand others. His body began to tremble. It was as if he was never supposed to forget. How could he forget? Tendril after tendril twisted inside him and the parched ground was flooded with water.

Ten years.

"Are you okay?"

Minseok interrupted Minho's reminiscence and stood beside him. Minho tried to concentrate on his brother. He just needed his pills and he would be fine again.

"You seem so absent today."

There was no rebuke sounding in his voice, just sincere curiosity and brotherly love.

"I'm fine." Said Minho, his gaze directed outside.

"Say..." Minho stopped himself.

He paused. He didn't know if he should ask Minseok about Taemin. He was 18, should he really ask about his imaginary childhood friend? And what would Minseok be able to tell him? Since Minho was born, all he could remember was an eager big brother. A brother who had collected the best grades just like that. He didn't have to try hard to be popular with the teachers, he just was.

Minho could not remember having ever seen Minseok studying. He was somehow always out with friends. Involuntarily, Minho clenched his fists.

Minseok was the perfect child. A child his parents wanted. A child who caused them no trouble. Minseok didn't need pills to get through the day. Minseok didn't need imaginary friends, he always had real ones.

Minho's heart skipped a beat.

His gaze dropped from his brother, down to his wedding ring. Minseok followed his eyes and raised his hand.

"It's our anniversary today, you haven't forgotten." He said as he looked at the ring on his finger.

"Mother and father were so happy when Yoona's parents accepted my offer."

Minho hardly knew Minseok's wife. She was beautiful, he knew that much. He also knew that her father was the founder of a successful music label. And whenever he saw a news report about it, it was always about her father and his sons. What geniuses they were, musical phenomena. But she was never mentioned.

"Yoona is the eldest child of the Lim family, isn't she?" he asked.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"How are you going to do it later? You take over father’s company and she takes over her father's? You'll hardly see each other then."

Minseok looked over at his little brother with his eyebrows branching, but laughed right after. Minho didn't understand that reaction.

"Yoona is supposed to take over the company? She won't have time for that. She has to take care of my children and the household."

His children?

Minho wondered if his father spoke about his sons like that. That they were his sons and not their sons. If he spoke like that, it was surely only about Minseok, not him.

It was Yoona who had to carry them in her womb. For several months she would have to give up her own life to create a new one in this world. Wasn't it