Within the sanctuary of the Yoo household, I find a hint of solace for the first time after the cafeteria calamity. Jihyo and I follow Jeongyeon into her room; I toss my bag and sweater over her bedpost and flop onto the mattress face first, wanting to be done with life already.

     "I can't believe you got out of there," Jeongyeon says, taking a seat at her computer desk. 

     When I agreed to come over today it was to take my mind off of school. Maybe hearing some of how her day went will distract me from what a total show it had been. Jeongyeon usually has the worst luck out of all of us, and after she got early admission to the Seywaun's 'Golden Chef' Institute, her time on the outskirts of the city had been rough. It's to the point where she actually comes home almost every week. Right now they're on break for some made-up holiday the dean created to celebrate the school's history or something. Honestly, I tuned her out. But still, we should be listening to her complain about her messy roommates or intolerant professors. 

     And yet as soon as we got here, Jihyo just had to open and ruin everything. Seriously, all day people have been giving me dirty looks. Even the teachers! I had to sit in front of the vice-principal and everything— next to Momo naturally— as he asked us to explain what happened. Somehow I avoided suspension. And even detention by some miracle. Though, it wasn't really a miracle, or by chance. It was more like the grace of an angel.

     "Well, I can't believe she let you go," the devil herself says from the carpet. In reference to one Minatozaki who was quite ready to beat my . And still, aside from some public censure, I got off clean.

     "I can't believe she smiled at me," I say, rolling over. What the hell, if you can't beat them, join them. And besides, I might as well offer up the bright side to this whole thing since neither of my so-called best friends wants to point out the good that came from all of this. It might not be much, and the timing is terrible as ; but still, I got to talk to Hirai Momo.

     "What?" I can feel Jihyo's eyes boring into the sides of my shoes. Of all the icy looks I've gotten today, I swear her's have been the hardest to take. Worse than Sana's.

     "Momo," I say, sitting up to face the jury with some dignity at least.

     "Dude, you're totally on Sana's list right now," Jeongyeon points out, swiveling in her chair to face me. "How can you even think about Momo?"

     "More like how dare you," Jihyo adds.

     "What?" I shrug. Technically they're right. I have no right to even think about Momo, but I can't help it, or the dumb fuzzies growing in my stomach at the thought of her drawing the VP's ire off me and overwriting the whole situation. Or the way she looked at me after I apologized in front of everyone. The fact that she could look at me at all, would have been more than enough, but she just brushed it off and smirked like I'd made some ridiculous joke. Not earning an actual sound, but not leaving room for feature control or the ability to keep a straight face. Like she thought I was worth smiling at. Seriously, how could she not hate me? "She's amazing."

     At the sound of someone scoffing, I look down from the ceiling to find Jihyo staring at me in disgust. I didn't even notice I'd drifted off. "Yeah? Is that why you embarrassed her in front of the whole school?" She says, her voice dripping with malice. And honestly, I'm a little scared.

     "I didn't—" 

     "Seriously, Nayeon. ." I look over at Jeongyeon and she's shaking her head in disappointment. "That was so messed up. Why would you say that?"

     "I was— I didn't— I-I-I…" The look in their eyes says that I have no right to even attempt to defend myself. And they're right of course. What I did was humiliating and disgusting, and just because Momo gave me a free pass doesn't make it okay. I know that. I know that, but… I sigh and look away, unable to hold eye contact any longer.

     Satisfied that I am sufficiently shamed and chastised, Jeongyeon continues. "Anyway, I guess you're lucky it was Momo. Anyone else and you'd have been…" She mimes slicing her thumb across . 

     Jihyo scoffs again. "More like you're unlucky it's Momo," she says, taking out her calculus textbook. "No way she even looks at you again after this."

     I jolt from where I sit and look over at her in brief confusion. 

     Wait, what. 

     I playback that gracious smile in my mind and the more I think about it, the more fleeting it looks. 

     Was that a, 'don't talk to me again,' smile? A, 'this is the last time we'll speak,' smile? Was she just taking pity on me in the moment and praying that we'd never meet again? 

     I drag my hands through my hair and pull, flopping back in the bed, beyond frustrated. Because, god they're right. My one in a million chance and I blew it before it could ever really manifest. It was already impossible for Momo to even notice me, and now she knows me for all the wrong reasons. 

     " my life," I groan. 

     "Ha, at least you're admitting you're wrong this time," Jeongyeon says, getting out of her chair, probably to get snacks. "Though I can't feel sorry for you. You brought this on yourself…"

     My pocket buzzes and I stop listening. I grab my phone to find a message from Mom saying she needs me back to help with some upcoming gig she's got. 

     "Yeah yeah yeah," I interrupt Jeongyeon and roll out of her bed. "I gotta go. See you losers later," I say grabbing my stuff, all too eager to leave them now. They might be right about Momo, and fine if they are. I'll just stay out of her way from now on. Not like we were best buddies up until now anyway. Regardless, I don't want to think about it anymore, and as long as this thing stays isolated to the school and these s, I might not have to.

     There's hope yet that I'll be able to leave today's trauma behind.

~~~