String lights, romantic music, rooftop, moonlight, wine, sizzling aroma.

 

Love is in the air, they say, during the 14^th day of February, or the day also called as Valentine’s day. That particular day originated because of St. Valentine and the celebration is considered as a holiday when lovers express their affection with greetings and gifts. The color red is dominated in almost anywhere one’s eyes will land, as well as various gifts, flowers, and balloons in a heart-shaped one.

 

Even if that certain day has a darker explanation and background, people are more focused on the romantic and the mainstream side of it where couples celebrate the day with a romantic date on restaurants, parks, gardens, and literally anywhere, even in their own bedroom.

 

And of course, as for Mina and Chaeyoung, Valentine’s day is also a day where they always look forward every year because besides it can be an excuse for the both of them that they can have a date and give each other gifts, it is also because it is their anniversary as girlfriends and so it’s an extraordinary, special day for the both of them.

 

In the past years, where they aren’t girlfriends yet but already has mutual feelings for each other, they already started celebrating Valentine’s day by having a date, until one Valentine’s day in 2015, Mina just randomly said the word ‘yes’ to Chaeyoung without any context when they’re enjoying their wine on a warm night at their favorite restaurant as she plays with the flower petals on her hand and her other hand playing with the wine glass as she looks with admiration at Chaeyoung.

 

“Eh? Did you say something? Or am I just hallucinating because we already finished two bottles of wine?”

 

“I said yes, Chaeyoung”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Chaeyoung, my answer is yes”

 

“What do you mean your… answer… is… yes, Mina?”

 

Chaeyoung asked in a slow manner to digest what she is saying, as well as Mina’s words who keeps lingering in her mind. She was about to let go of the wine class in her hand in a sudden manner if not for her fast reflex, so she eventually understood what Mina is trying to say to her for three times already.

 

“No way I’m hearing this on Valentine’s day. I must be dreaming, please wake me up”

 

Mina then holds her hand that is resting on the table, pinched it a bit, before she intertwined it with hers.

 

“I’m your reality and dream come true, baby”

 

From then on, they celebrate Valentine’s day as their anniversary, so they have double celebration going on, on that certain day no matter how busy they are.

 

And this year, where they didn’t see each other for almost a month already, no physical meetings, just text messages, sending random memes that serves as a motivation in their respective works, voice messages, selfies, and just video chats are what they have gone through because their hectic schedule didn’t let them see each other, even just for a quick moment, or one lunch break.

 

Mina is preparing with her position promotion in her family’s company while Chaeyoung is busy with her upcoming biggest project she will have in her whole career that gave them the reason not to talk much and meet, as they don’t live under the same roof yet and planned to when they’re already settled and getting married the soonest.

 

It was stressful, actually. Not having their ball of sunshine and their only source of strength beside them gives a different feeling of longing and exhaustion, yet they always remind themselves that they can hopefully see each other when they work hard and not complain much about their work. They didn’t wait for that day to come for the days not to be longer and boring and draining, and as much as possible, seize every moment, so they will say that they indeed deserve to give each other hugs and kisses once they already meet.

 

It’s almost 7 years already yet they’re still somehow foreign with that kind of setup, no matter how long they are already in their respective fields, they still don’t know how to fully come up with a plan where they won’t somehow feel a gap between one another whenever they don’t feel physical touch for a long time.

 

They certainly don’t want to ruin their relationship just because of their time management and priorities so they are both doing their best to meet halfway and hopefully meet their needs and expectations.

 

While Mina is already preparing something for Chaeyoung, which is actually her first time because their anniversary scenario is always the other way around, Chaeyoung finally had her day-off and set aside her work-centered self to go back to the simple Chaeyoung who always looks forward to weekends so she can cuddle with her girlfriend and spoil her.

 

“Dinner at 6?”

 

“You got it”

 

“Miss you, baby. See you later, finally”

 

“I know. I miss you, too. So much. I’ll see you later”

 

Both prepared for their dinner date as the checked all the things they need to bring to the celebration. Chaeyoung already ordered some bouquet of fresh roses while Mina already has the couple necklaces on her bag.

 

When they are already good to go, they went to the parking lot and drive their respective cars going to their favorite restaurant.

 

Chaeyoung arrived first and already went to their reserved spot every year. The same spot they had on their first ever date as girls who has mutual feelings and as girlfriends on their first date.

 

The place hasn’t changed a bit, since. Probably just some workers, but the owner already recognized them and yearly wishes for their relationship to become stronger than ever and he is just glad that they chose the restaurant as a witness of their everlasting love.

 

“Love, here!”

 

Once she spotted her girlfriend entering the place, she raise her one hand, even if Mina already knows where to sit as it is their usual spot already and always reserved for the both of them.

 

“You look so hot right now”

 

“Just right now?”

 

“Oh, I mean you look so hot every single day, even if I’m seeing you just on my screen. Wow. I can’t imagine we’re finally here. Again”

 

“I know. It felt like yesterday when your mind is still buffering about that one certain word I said. I hope you’re not regretting about it now”

 

Chaeyoung gasped when Mina sat in front of her as she says those words, but the latter just giggled.

 

“Kidding. Don’t take my words seriously, I just missed you. That’s all”

 

“I missed you, too”

 

A few more minutes of exchanging sweet words to one another when their order eventually arrived and served with cold wine and an anniversary cake on the house as their usual order.

 

“Happy 7^th anniversary, Mina”

 

“Happy 7^th anniversary, Chaeyoung”

 

It was plain rather than nice, assuring, and lovely. Something shifted as if a bad atmosphere suddenly wrapped and dominated the whole place and Mina’s not buying it.

 

“Can I tell you some reasons, Chae?”

 

“About what?”

 

“It’s random, I guess. Seeing you here, in front of me, after a month of not doing so, just made me realize things and that certain things are my reasons to stay”

 

Chaeyoung nodded and Mina took it as a sign to continue what she is saying.

 

“Probably one is because you’re the only one who can understand me”

 

She is the only person who can be with her all throughout. She is the one who can interpret her thoughts the way Mina wants it to be. She is the one who can listen to her without any judgment and will always lend her ears for Mina to express everything she is feeling.

 

Like that one time when she forgot Chaeyoung’s birthday because she was too busy preparing for one of her projects in her own department so even if Chaeyoung was waiting for her the whole day, a warm hug is all it takes for her to forgive her and just eventually celebrated her birthday under the night sky with some wine.

 

“You’re worth it to be a lifetime partner.”

 

Well, not to measure or have standards or some sort, but Mina really thinks that the reason why she wants to stay in the relationship and be with Chaeyoung is because the girl will always be worth it in all aspects.

 

She’s not just for a short-term relationship, but rather, a long-term one, an eternal one even.

 

It’s not because of her physical aspects, but rather, because of her whole being that will always make a person feel loved and special, who makes time, who appreciates her, who supports her in everything, who listens to her and isn’t also afraid to vocalize her thoughts, who is sweet, and who envisions the future with her.

 

Chaeyoung once told her, when she can’t sleep yet and she’s also helping Mina to sleep because she just finished having some emotional breakdown, that she will ask for her hand in the near future and ask her to marry her so they can build a family and settle down.

 

She is also present in every moment and event in her life, small or big celebrations, and even failures and regrets. Chaeyoung hasn’t missed anything and Mina really appreciates the fact that Chaeyoung never failed to make her feel that she’s that important to her because she always make sure that she will be with her in her journey and they will walk hand in hand in their own path.

 

“You’re the only person who stood beside me and never left my side. And for that, I’m willing to do the same thing”

 

Chaeyoung has always been there for Mina since day one, in her ups and downs, in her victories and failures. She was always there to hold her, to serve as her pillar and her strength, and to remind her that at the end of the day, she did her best and that’s already okay.

 

She was there and she was the only family she has in her life. She never left her side since then and always promise to be with her until she can.

 

She stays even without being asked and without giving complaints about it. She is always willing to stay no matter what the circumstance is and Mina will always be grateful for Chaeyoung for not leaving, because without her, she doesn’t think she will ever survive being alone and lonely.

 

And it is not about having a companion, but rather, having someone who gives her assurance that no matter what happens, she will support her, she will comfort her, she will make her happy, and she will love her.

 

“And above all those reasons, and a million more in the days that will yet come to us, it is because of the love I have for you. Son Chaeyoung, you don’t know how I love you so damn much that even if we don’t see each other often and if this setup keeps on happening to us in the future, I will always find a way to make time for you and make you feel that you’re worth loving and you’re the only person I want to love and spend the rest of my life with. I am more than willing to stay because it’s you, Son Chaeyoung, I will keep on choosing every day without any questions asked.”

 

Mina’s words are heart-melting. Every word comes from her heart and it is sincerely said with twinkling eyes and genuineness in her voice. She looks directly into Chaeyoung’s soul through her eyes, as if saying she’s the only person she’s serious with and she never have plans on letting go nor getting out of their relationship.

 

But Chaeyoung was already uncomfortable with the current situation, most likely because of the bad atmosphere that dominated the whole place a while ago, or it’s also because of the gap she chose to have when they didn’t see each other for a month that made her build walls around her again and lose every connection she has with Mina. She’s suddenly a changed woman because of that gap alone and she probably doesn’t care if it will hurt the both of them in the long run or not.

 

“Mina, let’s break up”

 

A whole buffet of silence.

 

Mina’s world stopped with those 3 words after Chaeyoung mentioned her name and it’s not the reply she’s expecting to have from the girl. Those aren’t the 3 words she needs to hear at that certain moment and she wants to think that it’s just a dream, no, she doesn’t even want it to become her dream nor reality, she just wishes it doesn’t happen in her entire life.

 

“I also have a reason. And it’s only one reason to leave, it’s because I already fell out of love”

 

Lies. All lies.

 

They were lovey-dovey just a while ago when they finally saw each other, they were messaging one another every single day when their schedules aren’t allowing them to meet, so how did Chaeyoung exactly mentioned that ing reason when as far as Mina knows, they are both exerting efforts to make their relationship work? No, there isn’t even anything to be fixed on their relationship, just their messed up work schedule.

 

A lot of questions formulating in Mina’s mind at that certain moment, but Chaeyoung didn’t explain any further.

 

Now, she totally get it. The girl most likely didn’t really love her from the start and probably just pity her for her situation. There’s no love involved, and it’s the most bull reason she had ever heard in her whole life.

 

It’s not a happy Valentine’s day anymore, nor a happy anniversary, but just a nerve-wracking and heartbreaking goodbye and break-up. Mina was still alone in the end, no matter how many reasons she has to stay.