Five years.

Di ko inexpect na magtatagal kami ng ganun. Kasi sa totoo lang di ko din naman inexpect na magiging kami. Sobrang random nang pagtatagpo ng aming landas. 19 ako noon, 20 naman siya.

Sariwa pa sa alala ko the moment magtagpo kami for the first time sa coffee shop na pinagtatrabahuhan ko. 2nd year College student pa siya nun. Full time barista naman ako.

Siya na yata ang pinakamagandang nilalang na nakita ko noong lumapit siya para sa order niyang iced americano. She was a living doll. Akala ko nga celebrity ang nasa harapan ko. From her long straight black hair, to her quail-like face, pointed nose and her beautiful smile. Everything about her was perfect. Naisip ko noon, nasalo niya yata lahat nung nagsaboy ng kagandahan ang langit.

Karina.

Even her name was beautiful as I wrote it sa cup niya with a smiley.

From then, madalas na siya sa shop. Either nag-aaral siya or trip niya lang ngitian ako.

One day nagulat ako ng ibalik niya sakin yung disposable cup niya na may nakasulat sa tabi ng smiley.

“You’re cute.   -K.”

Bago pa ako makapagreact nakalabas na siya.

At nagpatuloy yung ganun. Nagsasagutan lang naman kami through disposable cups sa tuwing oorder siya at ibabalik niya ito sakin.

Then we started having small talks.

We became sort of…friends. Isa-isa ko din na nakikilala yung mga friends niya from University.

We started hanging out. Hinihintay niya minsan matapos ang shift ko after ng klase niya sa hapon.

She started to tell her stories and I did the same. We got to know each other. We did what normal friends would do. But the more I associated myself with her, mas lalo ko narerealize na magkaibang magkaiba ang mundo namin.

Pero somehow, we clicked. 

Doon nagsimula yung sort of weird atmosphere between us. I started feelings things na hindi ko dapat maramdaman.
I was catching romantic feelings na pala sa kanya. That scared the hell out of me.

Babae siya, babae ako.

Ang hirap.

Sa halos araw-araw na nakikita ko siya,

nakakasama,  

lalo akong nahuhulog.

I started avoiding her. I was in denial. I tried to stop what I was feeling.

Pero she was doing things that made it hard for me na lumayo.

Because she was feeling the same all this time.

We knew we shouldn’t, but we both wanted to try.

We didn’t want to regret that we hadn’t tried.

Kung ano man yung magiging consquences, I didn’t care anymore as long as we had each other. Yun naman ang importante di ba?

Ang surreal lang.

Isang Karina Yoo ba naman.

Akala ko nananaginip lang ako.

Kung ganun nga, ayoko ng magising.

Pero it was real. She was real.

We were real.

Akala ko impossible.

Sa dinami-daming nagkakandarapa sa kanya, ako yung pinili niya!

Salamat disposable cups!

Ayun.

Though patago, masaya kaming nagmamahalan in our own little world.




Sabi ko nga di ko inakala na aabot kami ng limang taon. Kasi di naman naging madali ang lahat. Andaming nagyari sa totoo lang.

Isang napakalaking balakid sa amin yung mga magulang niya.

They sort of found out yung tungkol samin since we had decided to live together.

Ilang confrontations na ba inabot ko mula sa mommy niya.

Pero minsan di ako natinag.

Kasi nangako ako sa kanya.

Kasi I trusted what we felt for each other.

“Baby?” Karina spoke.Nakahilig sa sa dibdib ko habang nakahiga na kami. I guess aware siya na pumunta na naman yung mommy niya sa coffee shop kanina.

“Hm?” I respo