I thought I was alone in this world... as time went on, I felt lonelier. That is why I blamed the world for making me like this... but nothing has changed. I was about to become more closed to myself, and the moment I was about to give up on everything, I met you like fate, are you here?

My name is Mike Lawrence, I live in “Banim” city which my story started in. Ten years ago, when I was in elementary school, I always had this kind of problem called bullying, an experience that most of us might had, and it might be inevitable. I still remember those events as if they were yesterday.

Lunchtime, I grabbed my sandwich and sat in the school garden to eat quietly. I loved this tree-filled garden, I always sat there painting alone. These trees made me feel safe when I looked at them, and after a few minutes some of my colleagues who hated me for no reason came, they were five boys and the looked of hatred was on their faces, I was always wondering what I did to make them hate me like this?

And without any warning, they grabbed my sandwich to knock it to the ground and trampled on it, I tried to stop them and fight with them, but it didn't went well, they all started beating me so badly that I fell on the ground. 'Please stop beating me, I can't take it anymore!' was the sentence I always echoed in despair hoping for some compassion, and 'We'll make you run to your mother crying, loser" they shouted.'

On that day, a new student I had never seen before appeared, he had a brown hair, thin face and his nose was pointy. The signs of panic was showing on his face 'Stop now or I will tell the teacher about you' he screamed, they looked at him with the features of the irony rising in their faces 'Shut up, or what is happening to him will happen to you' they said. I thought that he would turn his back on me and go away, but I was surprised that he came towards me and rushed to reach me with his little hands to help me getting up. And soon, he started looking at the boys in a sharp way to fight with them and beat them all until they fled.

All my fears faded when he turned to me smiling and 'Are you ok' he said, and then I realized that someone was standing by my side and supporting me, and at that moment, I felt safe. He is Allen Wilson, my first real friend, we went to run and play among the trees. I remember Ellen's face holding my sketch book to check out my drawings one by one and the look of stun on his face, he looked at me smiling to mess with my hair and 'You are great' Allen said. This was the first time that one of my colleagues had liked my drawings, and it was the first time for someone to ask me to play with him. It is one of the most beautiful moments I have ever had in my elementary school.

Since then, my life has changed a lot, you can predict what happened next, we have become best friends, we did everything together and we never left each other side. So, our colleagues started making silly jokes because of our strong relationship, that why I thought we'd stay together forever... but three years passed away, and in the last year of middle school, something happened that I didn't know how to tell Allen about.

When I found about this, I went to school while I am running so fast, the run almost cut my breath, I started looking fast for Allen at the whole school. The students was making fun of my running, but I didn't care, because since Allen came into my life, I started seeing things differently, and that's why I was scared, it might seem nothing to others, but for me it was the end of it all. And well, I was right, and you will know why.

Allen kept watching me while I am running around, but he could not catch me because of my panic and after I calmed down, I started looking around and I noticed him looking at me quietly. He was waiting and 'What happened?' Allen said, I was hesitated, I did not know how to tell him. He looked at me with his eyes filled with curiosity "Don't you trust me?" he said. Before the words come out of my mouth to kill his curiosity, the features of his face changed like he was knowing that what I am about to say will not be easy.

He approached me with his hands on my shoulders 'its ok' Allen whispered. I looked at him while I sighed and set on the floor, then he approach to me to do his usual movement by messing with my hair, 'I'm waiting' he said, ' I think I'm leaving the school' I answered. He was not surprised because he thought we could meet outside. I told him I was leaving with my family because of my father's work in a new city, at that moment Allen began to speak in a frustrated tone because he realized it is a hopeless case. He put his head on my shoulder in desperate 'Is the town near at least?, I mean it's not like it will be that far' he said, and 'No, we're going to Hustin City' I answered. Ellen's despair turned into a rage, and he stood up with his hands in his pocket to leave impulsively without looking behind him. I felt some guilt, but there was nothing I can do.

I came home at the end of the day taking off my jacket and my bag and throwing them on my bed as usual, it was only minutes after I entered the house, my mother told me that we are leaving tomorrow!. She said it with cold tone, like it was not a big deal, I freezed on my bed, I told myself 'No, I'm not ready yet, I haven't said goodbye to Allen yet'.

I grabbed my phone, I felt my heartbeat accelerating, I did not imagine this moment would be very soon. I heard Allen's voice on the phone answering 'Hello?', I could not make the words to come out of my mouth, I was holding the phone with all my strength until I thought it would crash. I looked at the luggage that in front of me, then I decided to put myself in the reality to gather my feelings 'I will leave tomorrow' I said, 'Everything will be fine' he answered. I felt some reassurance, we talked and talked until morning, we both wished this call to last forever.

After hours of talking, we hung up hoping that tomorrow will never come. But tomorrow has come, I grabbed my black bag and started packing, I was looking at my clothes that I used to wear always while going to Allen's house. I felt suffocated from the inside, I grabbed my blue jacket and got in the car, I said goodbye to the house where I grew up in, and I closed the car door. We started our three-day journey, and throughout the three days I could not keep Allen out of my mind. I felt that I would never be able to live properly again, I probably will not be able to have any friends again. And when I got to the new town I felt like an outsider, everything seemed bad, but I tried to get used to it.

I went to my new school, which was like a nightmare for me, I didn't know how to behave therefor I called Allen every day to help me deal with bullies until I started imitating him and taking his character, so I got respect from my colleagues, thanks to that my high school years was quiet. I was feeling the deadly loneliness inside of me, I spent my time drawing Ellen's face dozens of times every day non-stopping.

The days passed as we shared our news over the phone, I used to cry every time I spoke to him. And he used to calm me down with his deep voice, which was comforting all my problems and sorrows, his voice was my life back then. Until the day came, he told me something that I did not take it seriously then, but it was the beginning of everything.

On that day, I was holding my phone in terror, 'Allen, what is wrong with your voice?' I said. He told me it is not a big deal; he is going to a boarding school in Dalkin City that what is all about. I felt comfortable and I wiped my sweat, sitting on the couch, I took a deep breath. ' You scared me, I thought something worse had happened, but what happened for your parents to suddenly decide this?' I wondered, ' I was having swings in my mood since you moved out of town, I think I'm getting sharper... in fact, I was kicked out of school for making quarreling' he answered.

I realized that Allen was suffering just like me, but he was dealing with his sadness in his own way, so I told him not to worry because we can talk on the phone in the holidays. But he told me that he was worried because his parents would not let him take his laptop or his phone with him, therefor I kept calming him down by telling him that everything will be fine. The tone of anxiety went from his voice, and he became more spontaneous, I talked to him every day to reassure him, and make him optimistic, but nothing changed. days went on, and the time for Allen to go to the boarding school has come, and this was our last call.

Me: Are you ready?

Allen: Yes, I am with my parents on the train right now.

Me: When I will be able to call you again.

Allen: On the weekends, I must hand over my phone to the school administration when I get there.

Me: I will wait for you.

Allen: The train is moving, I need to go now, goodbye mike.

Me: Goodbye Allen.

This was the real goodbye. On the weekend, I went rushing to the phone waiting for his call, but he did not call me until nightfall, so I decided to call him perhaps something happened to him. But 'Sorry, this number is not available in service' this what I was getting every time I tried to call him. I did not understand what happened, I was very confused, I decided to call his parents to make sure everything is ok, but their phones were out of service too. Is it possible that his parents told him to end his relationship with me? no, Allen will not listen to them, I know him very well.

The second and third week passed, I did not hear any news from him. I was waiting every day next to the phone hoping to hear his voice again, but this did not happen. The idea of not hearing his voice or not to see his smile made me crazy, that is why I started convincing myself of illusions to comfort myself. I was telling myself he maybe got busy with his life, or his phone was broken... it did not make any sense, but it was my last hope.

I almost collapsed at every time I went to school, I used to sit in isolation alone, worrying about everything. During my isolation I heard my classmates talking loudly, I turn around to find them gathered to talk about a train that derailed and crushed in the past few weeks. And this was the last thing I could think of.

I stood looking in astonishment way at my classmates, my eyes widened, my mouth dried, and my feet trembled. I was praying inside me that this train was not the train which Allen was on, but when I heard the name of the city, the thoughts faded in my mind, and everything around me became blurred. I ended up losing my conscious, and I woke up in the nurse's room.

I stared at a ceiling, wishing this is just a nightmare, and I will wake up with Allen next to me messing with my hair as usual, but this was not a nightmare, this was real. In my way home, I burst into tears until I fell to the ground in the middle of the road. I could not make it until my house, so I kept sitting by the side of the road. The next hours passed while I was looking at the void and thinking 'Should I just follow him?'.

I went to the middle of the road with my eyes closed, tears falling, and thinking of all the beautiful moments we shared together ' Can we meet again if I finish my life now? ' I said to myself. That is when I remembered that I did not hear about his death! I opened my eyes and ran to the side of the road before the car hit me. I stocked myself into this little hope, maybe he has survived, I went home swearing that we will meet again, and I will not calm down until this happens.

I got home at night, terrified and confused, my clothes were full of dust, and I had already lost my backpack. At the moment I went to my house I found my mother and my father standing at the doorstep, their faces were filled with anxiety and anger. 'I thought something bad had happened to you, they told us that you were at the nurse's room and you left without a word!.' my mother yelled, 'Why are you getting home now? where did you go?' my father shouted. I looked down crying 'The train that Allen was on, had crashed' I mumbled while holding my hand until my nails had pierceded my palm.

They hugged me and consolation me, but 'He's still alive' I screamed, and I ran to my bed with my school uniform on, to fall in sleep. I woke up to a bad nightmare, I saw Allen falling into a deep hole, I was trying to save him, but I could not, he ended up disappearing inside that hole. I wake up horrified, I ran to my parents, I told them that I want to go to Dalkin City to look for him by myself. Their answer was not what I wanted to hear.

Mother: Mike, you have been in your school uniform since yesterday!

Father: You want to go where? son, you still in high school.

I was outraged by their refusal, they treated it as nothing happened, 'He's still alive, I have to find him' I exclaimed, and my mother's response was unexpected. She asked me to accept that everyone would die in the end, also my constant begging to go and look for him, made no difference. Since then, I have not tried to talk with them about it again, I led to my room and closed the door strongly, I even thought about running away, but I was still a minor, so I promised myself that I would not give up no matter what occurred.

The years have passed, I did the same thing every day as if the day is repeating endlessly, I wake up, get dressed, and I go to school. I spend my time drawing Allen's face, imagining him next to me, I ended up drawing hundreds of them. I graduated from school; it was not a happy event for me because I always imagined myself next to Allen's at this moment. I have been thinking a lot about what I should major in, so I decided to major in art, it was the only thing I am good at anyway. The first year went very slowly, every day I would go to my lectures quietly, and rush home before anyone talked to me.

One day, in one of my lectures, I saw a tall guy, wide-shouldered, with dark black hair and manly features. He was watching me with attention while I was drawing Allen's face ' What a beautiful and gentle features' he said in admire, 'Yes, his features are distinctive' I answered shyly. He put his stuff next to me, and sat quietly watching me drawing, 'Is he someone you know?' he wondered, 'Yes he is everything to me' I said while I was looking at the painting, and trying to fight my tears. 'He's lucky to have a friend like you' he startled, 'I'm the lucky one for having a friend like him' I replied in sadness, he smiled to me, 'I'm Charles Anderson' he said while we shack hands, 'I'm Mike Lawrence, nice to meet you' I answered smiling.

Although he studies the art of painting with me, he is also a master in fencing! Charles told me that he used to live in Movril Village with his wife Maria and their son William. Over time our relationship became more strong, until I visited him at home, and met his wife, who had a white milky skin, and brown hair, she is a beautiful women, as well as their son William who had his mother white skin, and his father black hair. Charles is a good friend, but he was never as Ellen to me.

The first and second year went well, I always told Charles about my story with Allen, 'Why don't you go look for him yourself?' his answer was, actually that is what I was planning to do. During the summer holidays, I went to my house to collect my stuff, so I could start my trip to the Banim town, the town I spent my childhood in. I got to the car, and I started my journey. My heart was about to blow, I did not know if he would be alive or not? After three days on road, I finally got to my destination.

It is Allen's house, I went up on the door stairs while my heartbeat rises from anxiety, I put my finger on the doorbell, and I waited. A few seconds went like it was hours, then the door was opened by a man I have never seen before, my hands started shivering, and 'Hello sir, is Allen here?' I said while I was drowning in my sweat, I was praying and praying in these seconds hoping for him to say yes, but Ellen was not there. Allen's family no longer lives in this house anymore, I went to my car, and head immediately to Dalkin City, where Allen's Boarding School was, might I will find anything that will help me. And after a whole day on the road, I got to Allen's Boarding School, I quickly went to the principal's office, wishing he will give me the answer that I am waiting for.

I knocked on the door, and 'Hello, I apologize for disturbance, but I want to ask about the contact information for the student Allen Wilson' I said with a fake smile on my face. The manager left his cigarette to stand up, and 'I can't give you the personal information of the students' he clarified it. I felt hopeless, and without any warning, I started crying, I felled to the ground, and I start telling my whole story. He got closer to me to help me get up, and he get me a glass of water, 'Well, boy, I'll see what I can do' he said in empathetic.

The manager sat on his desk and grab the computer to start searching. It was minutes, or an hour, or a few hours? I lost my sense of time, I am waiting, this is the moment. The manager took his eyes off the screen, he looked at me and 'Sorry, young man, your friend never came to our school' he said with sadness on his face. The glass of water fell out of my hand, 'Allen never got to the school, could he be...' I screamed inside me. I did not want to think about it, I grabbed my backpack, and ran to my car, I did not even thank the manager. I went to the city police station to find the files about the train accident, this was my last hope, it was four days now since I took a bathe or eat any food.

I got out of the car rushing to the police station, I grabbed the first officer I saw 'Help me please, I need to know if he is still alive!' I begged. I told him about the train accident, and 'You are not the first one who come looking for the victims, I will get you the paper, wait a bit' he answered.

Now it is the paper that is going to tell me whether Allen's is alive or not. I was thinking and thinking, what if his name were on that paper, what would I do? I saw the officer getting towards me, holding the paper between his hands, and 'It's been seven years since the accident, that is all what I could found'. I looked at it, I hesitated a little, I could not touch it, I was trembling. I gathered myself to hold the paper, and look at it, the vision was blurry, I could not read, I sat a little on the bench to get my focus in. I get start in reading the first name, I felt that like a knife hitting my heart between every name I read, hoping his name will not be the next.

After I had finished reading the first 10 names, I burst into tears, I saw Mrs. Wilson's name, and the next name was for Mr. Wilson! I sat on my knees, crying so hard that I lost my voice, but I kept reading, my tears were falling on the paper while searching for Allen's name. I reached the end of it, and I didn't find his name among them, all I had in mind was that they might have forgotten to put his name on the list, or there was another list the officer did not found, or maybe they could not identify his body because of the burns, after all, it has been years, I shouldn't have listened to my parents, I should went looking for him despite everything.

My tears dried up, and I threw the paper on the ground, I grabbed my belongings to drove back to home. All the way my features were constant, unchanged, 'I have to try to move on with my life' I thought, I know it wouldn't be easy, but I thought a lot, I decided to forget everything I saw, and live hoping that he was still alive somewhere.

I went back to Hustin City, I spent the whole summer vacation lying on bed, thinking about Ellen, the summer vacation ended, and I am still like this. The last year of the university began, I went to Charles to tell him about everything happened to me during the summer, he was relieving my pain, comforting, and very supportive.

The senior year went well, we finally graduated, our friendship did not break even after it, we used to spend time together in his wife Maria's drawing room, we make paintings together. One day when we were immersed in work, 'You're drawing your friend again?!' said Charles while he is turning to me 'I can't stop drawing him' I answered in misery.

He was asking me constantly if I heard anything new about him, and 'No, nothing new' I said in frustration, while looking at the painting. He set his brush away and 'Are you going to paint him for the rest of your life, hoping the painting to become real?' he rebuked me. I stopped painting and ' I already searched out for him, I didn't find anything, I said with sadness, and I went back to continue my drawing. Then 'Didn't you told me that he wasn't named among the train victims?' said Charles, this sentence brought me back to the worst time of my life, ' I'm not afraid of him being dead, as much as I'm afraid of him being a live, and he already forget me' I answered him in a cold tone.

I was thankful to Charles for encouraging me to search for Allen, but despite my efforts, I did not find him. I was sticking to the idea that he was still alive, and that was enough for me, this idea made me able to continue my life while reassured.

For the present, I have not stopped waking up every day looking for a job, I had to distract myself a little from thinking about Allen all the time. I caught the newspaper, I started looking for any job, I could not find any job that suits my degree, so I decided to work part-time in a café. The café name was 'TRAVELER', it was a quiet, nice cafe, they played classic music all the time, the walls were blue and white, the tables and chairs were wooden brown. It is a very comfortable place, I wake up early every day, wearing my white shirt and black pant, and I come the café, I putt on my black apron, to start working.

It was an ordinary day at work, I start preparing coffee, and serving customers until a tall, slender man, with wide shoulders, came to the cafe. He had a brown hair tending to redness, and he was wearing a formal gray suit, I felt something suspicious about him. Despite his distinctive facial features, he appeared cold, and terrific from the first sight. Especially, the moment when he entered the cafe, he sat quietly while staring at the newspaper of the other person in front of him.

I went to take his order, he was speaking in a faint tone, I hardly heard him. He ordered an espresso coffee, I started preparing his coffee, and I gave it to him. He carried his cup of coffee, and drank it in calmly, and when he finished his coffee, he ran away quickly.

I went to clean his table to found a golden round vintage watch, I realized that he had forgot his watch, so I start running after him fast to return the watch to him, but he already disappeared. I kept the watch with me, maybe he will come to look for it, but the work hours ended, and the man did not appear again. I put on my brown jacket, and I carried my black backpack to go home, I also took the watch with me. I headed to the bus station, I took the watch from my pocket to look at it 'Is it just an old decoration, it does not even work, who holds such a watch these days?' I wondered.

While I was checking out the watch, I found behind it a phrase that said 'Choose the time you want to get back to' my face features turned to ridicule, 'Well, this is funny, It seems that this man was working as a magician or something' I said to myself in sarcastic. But this phrase reminded me of the old times that I had shared with Allen, and I found myself unconsciously changing the clockwise to the time I was with Ellen at school.

And without any warning, I found myself in Banim Town, standing in the neighborhood where I used to hang out with Ellen. I was feeling dizzy, ataxia while standing in my place, at first, I thought the watch had change my location only, but when I looked around me, I started to understand. The neighborhood looks exactly like it was 10 years ago, I looked at the watch, 'Is this real, am I dreaming!' I said with my eyes filled with amazement. For a few minutes I was staring at the place, until I saw three men with a huge structure, carrying weapons, and wearing black suits and sunglasses.

'We found the watch, we will get it now' said the man across the transceiver, I hesitated a little, and I took a few steps backwards, then someone grabbed my hand to pull me into a narrow path. At first, I did not understand what is happening, and who is this, but when I looked at him carefully, he was Ellen. He is Allen with his brown hair strands, white jacket, and blue shirt, he looks exactly like he was in middle school, he looked like the last time I saw him. It was Allen who is holding my hand, and running with me, if this was a dream, I do not want to wake up.

I kept running with Allen's, while I enjoy my sight of the look of his back, and flying hair. After running for a long distance, Allen fell on the ground with his head on the wall, I could not say a single word from the severity of shock, so I sat next to him to take my breath.

Soon after, I glimpsed them coming close to us, Allen started running, and I started running after him until we reached an alley next to the trash, Ellen suddenly stopped and 'What have you done?' said Allen, I looked at him in amazement, and from nowhere, a wide smile was painted on my face, therefore I embraced him. He pushed me away 'Did you steal a weapon from these men or something?' said Allen, I couldn't understand this situation, so I sat on the ground, while Allen sat next to me, 'Why don't you say a word?' Allen yelled, I took the watch out of my pocket, and 'I lost you once, and I will not lose you again' I said. He looked at me in shock 'What are you talking about?' Allen confused, I looked at him, and smiled, I touched his hair strands, while he was still looking at me with his wide eyes, I kept staring at him for five whole minutes to believe, that he was really in front of me.

During these moments, I heard a voice, I turned around to find the men in front of us, and one of them was holding his weapon, and pointing it towards us. I quickly changed the clock hands to the date of the present day, and grabbed Allen’s hand to hear the sound of the bullet, and unexpectedly, I found myself ataxia at the bus station, I waited for a few minutes until I settled down, and regained my balancing. I looked next to me, and I did not find Allen, I looked at the watch in my hand, and I found it broken, I stayed staring at the watch for a few moments, I tried to change the clock hands to get back again, but my attempts were unsuccessful. I looked around, and found my black backpack lying on the ground, I grabbed it, and pulled my phone out, I took a look at the timing, to find out that it was only a minute passed, I sat on the seat waiting for the bus, to go home.

'Charles won't believe what happened, I have to tell him!' I said to myself, but in fact, all that was running on my mind was Allen, did Allen leave my hands at the last minute? Or did the bullet that I heard hit him? Who are these men? Where did this watch come from? Who is the man with the watch? Allen, could we meet again?

 

Are you there?

 

 

 

(End of part one)