altschmerz

n. weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had—the same boring flaws and anxieties you’ve been gnawing on for years, which leaves them soggy and tasteless and inert, with nothing interesting left to think about, nothing left to do but spit them out and wander off to the backyard, ready to dig up some fresher pain you might have buried long ago.

- lost in translation -

Throwing her keys on the coffee table, Taeyeon let out a grunt as soon as her body made contact with her couch. It has been another tiring day, another day where she felt like her life is going absolutely nowhere.

Her jerk of a boss managed to put everything on her once again, clearly favoring that newbie who constantly makes mistake and then they expected her to clean it up for him. At this point, she no longer knew what her designated job at all.

Her stomach growling pulled her out of her thoughts. She then sluggishly made her way towards her kitchen, opening cupboards, only to realized that she had absolutely nothing to eat. She had forgotten to get groceries once again.

And if she’s being honest, she no longer have any idea on when was the last time she had food at her place. She can never really call it a home. It never felt like one.

It’s small and dingy. Housing only a few appliances that she rarely use, a bathroom enough for her small frame and a closet like bedroom that she only used to store her clothes. The atmosphere always felt cold to her. It felt too empty.

Like how she’s feeling inside. She laughed at that. How did she ended up here? She had dreams and goals she wanted to achieve but somehow she’s here.

It felt pathetic whenever she pitied herself. It was her choices that made her end up here. Or maybe it was what fate wanted her to have. After breaking the heart of the person she supposed to love wholeheartedly. It wasn’t her choice but it was something she chose to do.

Not wanting to dwell in her own thoughts, she picked her keys and made her way out of the door. Opting to just have dinner outside rather than feel the emptiness that slowly enveloping her whole being.

- lost in translation –

Jongkook finishes tidying up the studio. He finally relocated his company out in the city. It took him quite a while to do so but finally, he’s here. Looking around, he couldn’t the small voice that echoed in his head.

"Oppa! You finally did it!"

It’s the same voice over and over again. Reminding him of a friendship that got lost in the sea of miscommunication and misunderstanding that soon ended. She was such a great support system for him. Always believing that he’ll be able to do anything he puts his mind into.

And though he did managed to achieve his dreams slowly by slowly, he always felt like somethings missing. Like a piece of puzzle that was misplaced and now couldn’t be found. He heaved a sigh, shaking the thoughts out of his head, this is not the time to dwell on the past.

- lost in translation –

Entering her shared apartment with her friend quietly, knowing that the other girl is currently on her way to the dreamland and would definitely hate being woken up. Placing her shoes on the rack, she tiptoed towards her room and slowly closed it. Sighing at the sight of her bed, she didn’t care that she hadn’t took off her make up yet and instead plop down to it.

It was an exhausting day. Working as the creative content director for the magazine she works at always drained her energy. Tiffany’s a cheerful person by nature but managing the contents and their social media at the same time sapped the cheerfulness out of her.

Everyone’s waiting for the December issue of their magazine, watching for new trends that will come up for the next year and with that the pressure to do well is high.

Turning herself on her back, Tiffany looked up at the ceiling, realizing that even though she haven’t clean in a while, it still looked spotless or maybe she didn’t try to look closely for dirt.

Like how she didn’t look closely enough when her relationship was meeting it’s end. She thought what they had was for a lifetime but she thought wrong. It was fairytale that had no happy ending.

Of course, it was pure happiness at first, like how every single love story started out but then she was blindsided of the heartache that she soon felt. She honestly thought that they had no problems at all but maybe that’s what was wrong. That they never fought and that both always seemed to agree or compromised on things.

Groaning, she pulled herself out and decided to take a shower instead. She can’t be thinking of the past, it has been 7 years after all. If it has been 7 years, why do it still hurt like it happened yesterday?

- lost in translation –

The clicking of the keyboard was sounding throughout the quiet office. The only light that can be seen was from the laptop itself while the owner was hunch forward as if she’s being slowly into it.

The clock reads at 9pm, all employees of the company have already gone home except for the night shift crew of utility and the guards. And the person who’s currently too busy typing to have noticed the emptiness and silence around her.

Or maybe she did noticed. She just ignored it as she found comfort within the silence and emptiness. The rowdy bunch of her employees lightened up the room always and she’s happy to see them enjoying their work though sometimes it can be stressing.

But within this silence and emptiness lies the feeling of being understood. Of giving comfort for something that she had longed for.

Straightening her back, Jihyo let out a grunt and tilting her head from side to side to release the pressure. Turning to look at the clock in her office, it now read 9:30pm and from here, she can see the guards checking every inch of the room and soon they will see her as well.

Saving the document, she then turned off her laptop and packed her belongi