Part II: The Social Psychology of Emotion

Guilt and shame are very different, but many people use them interchangeably.

Shame is marked by avoidance, stemming from the appraisal of one’s self as flawed and awful and lacking. Guilt feels for the situation, which drives reparative action.

It’s guilt that makes Eunju put on that suit each night, and try to repair the little she can. Because the thought of having power running under her skin and doing nothing about it brings a feeling of nausea bubbling up until she can’t breathe. It’s come to the point that Eunju doesn’t even understand what she feels guilty for; just that she does, and that means she needs to fix something, whatever that may be.

So she tries.

***

Byun Baekhyun is wonderful.

Eunju had liked him the moment he had walked into the cafe with his friend. He was easy to talk to, with a cheerful disposition, bright features, a swoon-worthy smile and was incredibly patient and understanding after she’d spilled coffee on him. He had a mom-would-adore-at-first-meeting personality and dad-would-call-son-in-law-before-marriage-talk way of getting along with people. Then they’d walked to class together and Eunju had liked him even more as he talked so animatedly about the role of the interpositus nucleus in conditioned responses that all she could think was he’s also kind of a nerd but in the cutest way possible.

She’s delighted when he asks her out three weeks later, and she doesn’t need to think to say yes.

***

When Baekhyun leads her to the two-seater bicycles, Eunju’s already convinced that this single date has bested any of the ones her ex has taken her on. She turns out to be right; Baekhyun’s extremely attentive, he’s packed adorable sandwiches for lunch and is altogether a joy to be around. They spend most of the morning biking down the riverside. Just when Eunju is starting to feel hungry, Baekhyun guides the bike into a park and they eat the food he’s packed for them. He has an entire picnic planned, and the sandwiches are honestly a cut higher than what she can make.

“Did you voluntarily pick five to nine shifts?” he asked around a strawberry. “Apart from Jongdae, I don’t think I know anyone else who would do that to themselves willingly.”

It’s kind of hard to explain my schedule will lead to questions that Eunju can’t answer (not unless she says I run around the city in a leather suit and superpowers at night), so she shrugs. “I’m a morning person. And I feel good about myself when I wake up early.” She squints at him. “Same to you, though.”

Baekhyun pushes his hair back in a way that’s unfairly attractive and lets out a slight laugh. “I’m more productive at that time. Although I think my body is used to running on caffeine.”

“I can see that,” she replies, a little drily, and Baekhyun has the sense to look chagrined when Eunju points at his thermos full of coffee.

A little while later, as they’re packing up their picnic, Baekhyun picks up her hand gently and points at her palm. “Where’s that from?”

Eunju blinks, looking down. The long white line runs across her palm from pinkie to thumb, an unfortunate accident when she’d first gotten her powers and had trouble adjusting. It’s an obvious