Do you really know what it feels like to be alone?

He said those words to me... I can remember how he looked at me.

I didn't know what he was giving hints about...but i guess that's my fault...heh.

So I asked him, 'And if I say yes..? What would happen?'

He gave me that look....you know..that look he gives me when I'm supposedly acting dumb...

"Seriously Jjong...I'm not playing" he said with a stern voice.

'Oh~' I simply say.

I hear him giggle at my slowness....that was the first time he laughed like that.

" Do you really know how it feel to be in love?" he asked me.

He looked up at the sky as if he was searching for something.

I decided to follow wear he was looking when I saw he had stopped...his eyes landind on big, bright, shining star.

'Have you ever been in love?' I asked him.

He smiled at that star then said,

" As a matter of fact, i have...once..." he said..tone fading a bit.

'So~?' I preasurred him into continuing.

" ok, ok, I'll tell....geesh."

he took a deep breath

Inhale.Exhale.

"Her name was Luna. I had met her at the coffee shop where Key worked at. I had accidently spilled my tea on her, but after I had apologized several times, she didn't look mad....actually, she looked....calm about it..BUT, of course that could mean something bad too, so I covered my ears waiting for her to scream at me, but she never did. I guess that was what had connected our friendship....my clumsyness, and her kindness....I don't know. So, one day, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk in the park. No, it was not a date, but it felt like it. Two weeks later, on a sunny day at the park, I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend...and she said yes. We were going out together as a couple for about..hmmm....3 years now. Today is our anniversary. Just last year, I had got a call from her saying thatshe needed help. I didn't know what to do because I did not know if she was just joking or not, so i didn't go help her...''

He stopped talking. I saw tears coming from his eyes, so i wrapped him in my embrace, we were on the roof....now that i forgot to mention...sorry..heh.

'Dubu, it's okay if you don't want to continue.' i say to him.

Then it hit me, I was actually in love with him since I first met him in high school.

" She got murdered because of me, Jjong......She got killed..."

" But there's something I've been wanting to tell....."

Then he said those three words that i had never expected to hear before he died....

" I....I love you, Jonghyun....." he continued to cry.

He got out of my embrace and reached into his pockets and pulled out two things....

A ring...and a gun

' ONEW!!! What are you doing???' I say as i try to retrieve the gun from his right hand...

'I love you, you stupid bunny!! Why are you holding a gun to your head??' i say screaming at him once more...

He handed me the ring.

It read;

~We will be together....4ever~

Then i heard it....that sound.....

BANG!!!

That was it....he....he was gone....

 For the first time I cried that night, holding his dead body once more in my arms.

Why,Onew? Why did you leave?

I will see you soon, your love 4ever...heh,

Kim Jonghyun....

Saranghe~