"If you just lift your head, at that place,"

After that day. After Soobin hugged her and walked her home, she knew her feelings for Soobin had definitely changed direction from friends to more than just friends.

She, probably, just probably, thought Soobin looked rather prettier than before. She acknowledged the obvious fact that he was good looking in general. However, prettier, in her sense, in a way that made her feel warm from the inside. Prettier in a way that made her want to protect him from any danger. Prettier in a way that made her want to admire him for far and she could only reason one thing from all of these feelings – she had fallen in love with her best friend.

“Arin?”

Even her name rang so sweet when he called her out.

“Arin, are you okay?” Absentmindedly she nodded.

She was staring, she knew. She noticed the change of expressions he made once he lifted his eyes after solving the math question she terribly didn’t – (well, let’s pretend she didn’t) – know about. His right eyebrow was slightly lifted, not in an offended way, more likely in a what’s-the-matter-with-this-girl way. He then went off shrugging his shoulders after he couldn’t figure her out and her lips broke into a soft chuckle, noticing how afterwards he instantly stacked up two thick books, folded his arms on top and lied his head down, head to the right.

Such a Soobin thing, I swear.

He mumbled a bunch of words to himself with his eyes closed and she thought she definitely heard him calling her name which caught her attention. “Did you say something?” She questioned while she turned around to reach out for her phone that had been vibrating for a hot second inside her bag. Rummaging in between tangled earphones and folded notes, she finally found the device, just to see three missed calls from an unknown number.

“That’s weird.” She whispered to herself.

“What’s wrong?” Soobin rose from his very brief nap with his chin on his still folded arms, curiously watching as he waited for her to spill.

She turned the dimmed screen around him to see. It was a second then when her phone vibrated in her hold and Soobin quickly snatched it away, picking up the call himself.

“Hello.” This isn't going to be good. “Yes, this is Arin’s phone.” Wait, how? “Who I am is not important. Who are you, now that’s important.” She burst into a chuckle, amused. “Wait a moment.” He then put the call on hold and tightly clutched the device in his big hand.

“His name is Yeonjun.” Oh.

 

 

 

 

Soobin clarified himself a loser at this point. A loser who had lost his first love to a man named Yeonjun. He didn’t even get the chance to pick up his courage and confess to Arin.

He wanted to blame this Yeonjun man so badly but he already blamed his insecurity way ahead.

From the way Arin collected her things in hurry and left him with a whisper of apology after picking up the call, he was certain that he was second place. You know, the sort of second male lead who gave his everything for the main female character and ended up watching the male and female lead kissing each other in the playground with melting ice creams in his hold.

Soobin had a feeling that he was that second male lead while this faceless man sat in the first place with Arin by his side.

After Arin had left, Soobin found himself out right away because he couldn’t stand sitting in the library for far too long. He had never taken a liking in this place where there was too much suffocating silence and choking old books scent. The only time he was here was when Arin was here, and it seemed like he wasn’t going to be here for more.

As Soobin walked down the alley, head full with Arin, he could feel he was dragged back by someone. Almost stumbled forward, he caught himself in time and turned his head around slightly, frowning, to see two girls standing behind him and one girl was pulling his white shirt then quickly let go as they met eyes. Pulling one of his earbuds out, he turned his heels around, facing the two girls with their arms locked.

The girl in her yellow flowery print blouse and black pants pulled her phone out and handed it to Soobin, shyly she asked, “Can I have your number?”

“No, I’m sorry.” Blandly he replied, and he placed his earbud back to its place, walking away from the situation he hated the most and left those two girls speechless and embarrassed.

 

 

 

 

Arin, on the other hand, was pacing back and forth in front of the ward. As she heard from Yeonjun, Seojun was involved in hit-and-run, and thank goodness, the pedestrians there took immediate actions to call for help. However, she was still worried for Seojun and she was worried, too, for Soobin because she had to leave so abruptly without telling him anything.

“Should I get you coffee or anything, Arin?”

“I don’t drink coffee.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” Yeonjun rubbed his nape awkwardly with eyes on the ground, as if he felt ashamed for not remembering about his sister’s favourite. Arin noticed, and finally took a seat beside her long-gone brother and hugged him, patting him on his back to tell him that it was alright.

Yeonjun spent his past years in Paris, studying fashion and Arin couldn’t blame his lack of attention to the family because he proudly came back with a scroll in his hold and a job in the widely known high-end clothes brands in South Korea as a designer. Plus, it wasn’t fair for her to hate on him when he was just arrived at the airport to a call that his older brother was in the hospital and not a welcome-back hug.

Arin let him go and smiled to ease him, because she knew he was terribly worried too from the way he couldn’t stop biting his nails, and told him, “If you want, you can get me a hot chocolate. I’d appreciate that more.”

As soon as she said that, the cloudy eyes lifted and the twinkling sparkles filled next and Yeonjun nodded eagerly with a wide grin across his face.

 

 

 

 

Soobin didn’t know how he ended up at the playground in the middle of the night. He walked and walked after a while and found himself arriving in front of the playground open gate.

He promised to his mother to be home at ten after he dropped Arin home. Well, jokes on him, Arin left him this afternoon and he only needed to drop himself home.

As he sat himself down on one of the benches, he pulled his earbuds and placed them back in the black case. He shoved it in his front pocket and leaned back, eyes on the midnight blue sky that was as if painted so darkly with acrylic paints.

Then it reminded him about his painting.

The one he promised Arin for her birthday present.

The view of sunset dawned on an empty yet living playground.

“Soobin.”

Was he already in too deep that he could hear Arin this close to him?

“Soobin?”

Just then he noticed, as he woke up from his deep thought, that he was staring at a pair of white heels and immediately he looked up, surprised to see Arin smiling so beautifully before him.