jaehyun refuses to take her home, saying that it's late, it's not safe for her to be alone, and chaeyeon's too tired to argue so now she's in his place. she's standing at the doorway, keeping quiet and watching while jaehyun's fussing around, picking up clothes, dirty dishes, trashes, anything lying around in his attempt to make the room more presentable. chaeyeon's not fazed with all of that because she (hates that she) knows jaehyun's not on the tidy side, especially when he's busy or distraught. 

what makes chaeyeon falls silent is the memory of her, eight months ago, feeling helpless because jaehyun had moved away from his rent room without telling her. she waited in front of his then-empty room until one of his neighbours took pity of her and offered her something to drink. it's funny how she was so desperate to find him back then, and now he willingly takes her to his place. 

it's a studio room, bigger than jaehyun's previous place. he lived in a box room in a communal housing, like chaeyeon too, and he was in a worse financial condition than her. at least she doesn't have to support her family; jaehyun's father is an alcoholic with a bad gambling habit. he struggled a lot, but seeing his place now, it seems he's in a better condition. chaeyeon has so many questions about it that they physically hurt her heart, but she doesn't even know where to start.

"we should treat your wound." jaehyun takes out a first aid kit from the cabinet and he turns around, realizing just know that chaeyeon hasn't move from her spot. chaeyeon doesn't even look at him. she doesn't want to. "... chaeyeon."

hearing his voice saying her name sparks fire inside her. it reminds chaeyeon that she's angry, it reminds chaeyeon that she misses him. 

she finally comes inside and sits in the middle of the room - there's no place to sit on the floor like this in jaehyun's previous room - and she lets jaehyun takes her hand. she had washed it before and it's no longer bleeding. jaehyun applies some antibiotic ointment on it so carefully, stealing glances at her to see her reaction in case he's being too rough. sometimes it stings, but chaeyeon doesn't want to make a big deal of it so she just bites her lips, wincing a bit. jaehyun continues by applying a bandage, and when he finishes, he her hand lightly before letting go. 

"thank you," chaeyeon says quietly, noting how neat jaehyun works with the bandage. he's too skilled in this, like he has done it multiple times before.

"do you want to wash up? you can use my clothes." 

it's almost 2.30am when she finishes cleaning up. jaehyun's t-shirt and sweatpants are too big for chaeyeon she has to fold the end, but at least they're clean. she recognizes them as the clothes jaehyun used to wear - she chides herself for that, she needs to stop thinking about the past.

still, while waiting for jaehyun to finish showering, chaeyeon can't help but to look around, a part of her can't shake off the curiosity about how jaehyun lives now. he has his laptop opened on the desk along with a pile of books and journals - they're all his college materials. maybe jaehyun is still studying by himself? or does he enroll in another place?

chaeyeon is sitting on his bed when jaehyun steps out from the bathroom in a white sleeveless top and grey shorts. his damp hair falls forward, reaching his eyes, and he's pushing them back when he notices chaeyeon's stare at him.

"don't worry, you can take the bed, i'll sleep on the floor." that's not what chaeyeon's actually thinking, but she keeps quiet. jaehyun pulls out a winter blanket from under the bed and lays it on the space next to the bed. "do you have morning class tomorrow?" 

"nine o'clock, prof yang's class," chaeyeon replies curtly. 

jaehyun grimaces at this, apparently remembers how strict the professor is. "we should leave early. i'll take you to school."

chaeyeon wants to disagree, but she's worn out so she just exhales and slips under the blanket. the pillow, the linen, the blanket, everything smells like jaehyun, she (hates the fact that she doesn't) hates it.

she pulls the pillow away from under her head and drops it to jaehyun without looking. "you should have a spare pillow." 

for a while, jaehyun doesn't respond that chaeyeon wonders if she ticks him off. but then he replies, "yeah, i should."    

chaeyeon sleeps with the light on, while jaehyun prefers it dark. 

he doesn't turn off the light that night. 

***

officially, they only dated a couple of months before jaehyun left. but before that, they were friends. they were good friends. chaeyeon thought their relationship meant something, but clearly, it's not.

before he left, she knew something happened. jaehyun got angry easily, he skipped classes, he didn't answer her messages. but that's how jung jaehyun is, he needs some space to figure out things by himself, and chaeyeon knows him