Saturday. The weekend. A morning where sunlight was streaming through your open blinds and there was a pounding knock on your front door.

"EUNJI! Let us in!"

You laughed, getting up to unlock the latch and stepped aside as Yun-Hee barrelled past you, Hei-Ran trailing after.

"What's in the bags?" You asked.

Yun-Hee grinned, "we’re making waffles! And we brought toppings because we know all you have is leftover pizza." She rolled her eyes and set to work on her sleeves, tying her hair away from her face.

You sat on the counter, watching them pull out flour and eggs and all other ingredients from their bags, "what's the occasion?"

"Duh, your new job! Look at you all employed! Here I was thinking you were going to live on pizza and beer forever."

"There's nothing wrong with that." You said, "just because you eat salads doesn't mean I have to."

"Eunji?" Hei-Ran called from the living room, you looked just as she came in carrying your laptop, "what's all this?"

"Yah! What are you doing snooping!"

"You left it open!" She defended.

"What is it?" Yun-Hee asked, hands covered in dough, craning her neck to see.

"Plane schedules, for tomorrow."

"Eunji!"

You explained quickly what Mr. Shin had told you, "and it's a good idea, I haven't had a vacation in years, it'll be good to get away."

"And you didn't think to invite us?"

"You have work, no way is Ahn going to give you time off on such short notice."

They grumbled, but knew it was true.

"Where are you thinking?"

"Honestly, I was thinking Paris." You said, "check out the coffee scene there, see some sights, just be a tourist."

"Better bring back some wine."

"And shoes!"

"And perfume!"

You laughed, letting them bicker on about what you should bring them back, throwing a finished waffle at you as they ran to your closet to pack your bags. If you weren't inviting them, the least you could do was let them have fun this way. You drizzled chocolate syrup on your waffle, adding strawberries on top as you left them to their devices. They had better fashion sense than you anyway.

An hour later they came out of your room, identical grins at whatever game they'd pulled in there, but you didn't pry. You'd let them have their fun for now.

Yun-Hee leaned up against the counter, "If you're leaving us to go gallivanting in Paris, you owe us a night out."

"A good one." Hei-Ran said.

You rolled you eyes, "I do have a plane to catch at 10 tomorrow morning."

"You'll be awake by then. Besides, we're not taking no for an answer."

You didn't protest much as the dragged you to the car, maybe a night out was what you really needed.

 

Yun-Hee narrowed her eyes at you, "have your s gotten bigger?"

You pulled the stockings up your legs, "my has too, result of being unemployed and losing my gym privileges." You'd lost part of the jut of your collarbone and the curve of your waist too, not enough for anyone other than Yun-Her and her critical eye to notice, but enough that you knew your muscles were losing the tone you worked so hard on.

You caught the sheer top Hei-Ran tossed at you, "time to show that rack to the world."

You already had a dark burgundy bra underneath, so you just pulled the top over it, feeling it like a second skin above your naval, tight around your bust. You borrowed a black skirt with a slit up the side, and Hei-Ran's boots that you'd borrowed before, and then all three of you were set to go. Hei-Ran looking dangerous in fishnets and lace, and Yun-Hee looking like a showstopper in a pink dress that barely reached the tops of her thighs.

None of you donned jackets as you piled into a taxi, Hei-Ran flashing her ID at the door and getting all three of you in immediately.

You could feel the bass in your soul, the thudding of the music that commanded your heartbeat to catch up, the darkness where people danced against one another, the cheers as people did a round of shots.

You'd missed this.

You grinned as a hand dragged you to a bar, a shot was there in seconds and you revelled in the burn as you tossed it down. Three more followed it.

"I'm going dancing!" You yelled.

"What?" Yun-Hee yelled back, voice almost drowned out by the music.

"Dancing!" You yelled again, pulling her close to yell in her ear. She nodded and gave you a thumbs up, turning back to the barman who was already flirting with Hei-Ran.

The dance floor was packed, just the way you liked it. You squeezed your way in and moved your body with the crowd, letting the alcohol loosen your joints. In no time you felt a hand on your waist as a body behind you moved in sync with you.

You imagined Chen, imagined it was his hand that was thumbing on your bare skin, his hips that were swaying with yours, his chest that you leaned back against. Your head rolled back as you felt breath on your neck, lips following soon after. But it was too harsh, too fast, it held no resemblance to the way Chen’s lips had had you careening into him for more.

You pulled away, slipping out of his grip. He followed you, wrapping a hand around your wrist and pulling you back in. You wasted no time in letting your fist fly, turning your back on him as he clutched at his nose.

What does a man have other than his ego? Was that what Yoona had said, to explain when she turned her back on Baekhyun? You could understand it now, understand the powerful feeling it was to make someone feel so powerless you didn't even need to look, was this how she'd felt about Baekhyun, how you were supposed to feel about Chen? As if he'd violated you, as if his existence should repel and disgust you?

You climbed to the upper balcony, averting your eyes from the couples locking lips in crevices, one man had a hand under a girl’s skirt as she her hips into him.

The music felt loud, it helped drown out your thoughts, but it made the ache hurt more. It made you realise just how much he'd changed you, at how much you missed him. You didn't want anyone else, you couldn't just dance with a random stranger. When you closed your eyes and pictures your future it was Chen you saw standing with you. Chen who was waiting for you at your apartment after a long day at work. Chen who would crawl into bed and curl himself around you.

You shook your head, this was getting ridiculous. You’d known him for 2 weeks. That’s it.

But tomorrow you were leaving for Paris, and that would be the beginning of your fresh start. You would go to Paris, eat food, drink wine, ogle the gorgeous French men and forget about Chen completely.

Just as he was probably forgetting about you.

 

 

~

 

 

"Boarding flight FL1754 to Paris. We are currently boarding everyone who requires assistance or who is accompanied by small children."

 

You ate the last of your chocolate bar, crumpling the wrapper in your hand. You hadn't been on a plane in so long... god, when was the last time you went on vacation? High school? Elementary school? You had been with your family and you hadn't spoken to them in a long time, so it must have been forever ago.

 

"Boarding flight FL1754 to Paris. We are currently boarding business class passengers."

      

You saw everyone standing and forming a line that s around the columns, out of your gate and into the one next to you. They'd notice eventually. But there were way too many people standing, everyone just trying to get on the plane as soon as possible. It wasn't like your seat was going anywhere, why didn't everyone just stay sitting?

You propped your leg up on your suitcase and avoided the eyes of an elderly woman who scowled at you. Were you really doing the right thing? Gallivanting off to Paris? Sure, Mr. Shin had told you to, but Paris? You could have just gone to Japan, that was closer, just go to Disneyland. But something about Paris, it seemed so... whimsical. All the cafe's, the Eiffel tower, the fashion, the tiny cups, it was so different from where you were. You needed a break like Paris.

 

"Boarding flight FL1754. We are now boarding remaining passengers, section A and B, please approach the gate."

 

You glanced at your boarding pass again, you were in seat C37, so you'd be called next. You sighed, stretching your limbs out as you stretched. You had a rolling suitcase and a small purse as your carry-on, but you'd checked a mostly empty suitcase as well (at Yun-Hee and Hei-Ran's insistence so you could bring back gifts.) You pulled the handle up on your suitcase and joined the line, standing behind a teenager bopping his head to the music blaring from headphones around his neck. You looked overdressed, in comparison, having let Yun-Hee pick out your airport outfit in a fit of drunken giggles. But you were going to Paris, so you supposed you should try and fit in. it was 10am now, so it's be around 3pm Paris time when you landed, so there'd still be time to see the city.

You took another step forward, feeling a bag hit you as the woman behind you jerked forward in anticipation. You didn't look back, watching the line of people passing their passports and boarding passes to the hostesses, then disappearing down the corridor to get on the plane. You were slightly disappointed, you'd always wanted to get on a plane from the tarmac, but you supposed you'd need to be doing a short flight for that, in just a little plane. Nothing like the one you were going on now. You shuffled forward, feeling the woman bump into you again.

Was this really right? Should you really be going?

No, no second thoughts. You were getting on this plane and you were damn well going to enjoy yourself.

You handed your passport to the man, who gave you a polite smile as he opened it to see your boarding pass tucked inside. Oops, probably should have taken that out for him. Oh well, he didn’t seem to mind too much as he handed it back to you, “have a nice flight now.”

You walked down the tunnel, suitcase in hand to prevent it rolling away from you on the incline. It was a pretty efficient cabin crew because everyone was pretty much in their seats already, a few stragglers trying to stuff too much into the overhead compartment and the hostesses laughing at them from behind their hands. Better than you’d expected. You squeezed your suitcase in next to a pile of coats and bags, and looked a few rows down for your seat (better to get a spot for your stuff a few rows away than to not get one at all.) You were sat next to a couple who were obviously going on their honeymoon. You gave them the best congratulations you could muster as you squeezed to the window seat, turning your head to look out over the wing of the plane to avoid seeing their happy faces. In another life that could have been you. You sighed, pushing your hair behind your ear, remembering how Chen’s hand had once done the same. No, Eunji. Think of something else.

The screen in front of you as they started the safety video, the hostesses in position in the aisles going along in perfect unison. How many times had they done this? Not enough that they couldn’t still plaster smiles on their faces as the buckled and unbuckled a seatbelt in perfect time. You doubted you could do that, two flights in and you’d be fired for resting face. No doubt, these women were hardcore behind those identical perfect smiles.

The plane was in taxi for a long time, waiting for a free runway, but then there you were, back pressed to the seat as the plane rocketed forward on the tarmac. Your heart beat faster, in an exhilarating kind of way. You popped a stick of gum in your mouth and began to chew, something Hei-Ran had told you to do to avoid your ears popping. You felt your lips grin as the nose of the plane tipped up, lift off. Beside you, the woman gripped the mans hand tight, you looked back out the window, watching the city shrink until you were swallowed by clouds.

Two hours later, you watched the hostess pass out drinks to people two rows in front of you. People who ordered beer were given it poured out in little cups, but people who asked for wine were given those little bottles. There was some kind of cracker as well. Eventually she made it to your row.

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

“We’ll have red wine.” The woman said, not giving you a chance to speak. She put a hand on her husband’s chest, “were on our honeymoon.”

The hostess gave them a smile as she passed two little bottles of red wine, one each. “Congratulations! Is Paris your final destination? You’ll love it there, such a romantic city.”

She turned to you as they began to gush about Paris, her eyes skyward for a brief second in a barely concealed eye roll. “Anything for you?”

You grinned, “white wine, please.”

She turned back to her cart, assembling the plastic cup that came with the bottle. She passed you the cup with a wink, “here you are, enjoy the rest of your flight.”

You grinned, thanking her. No doubt you’d enjoy it, she’d given you three little bottles of wine.

You drank straight from the little bottles, just to piss off the happy couple. The alcohol hit you harder than it would on the ground, and you were asleep in no time, a bottle and a half sealed and in your bag for later.

The next time you woke up, you were landing in Charles de Gaulle Airport.

Paris better be ready for you.