When Soyeon wakes up, she is so grateful for being back to her body again that she breathes heavily and places her hand on the top of her heart, feeling her small s and the silk of her grey nightdress against her skin. She gets up still feeling a little dizzy and looks at her reflection through the mirror just to make sure everything is as it should be. It is, fortunately: her blond hair is there, just like her yellow painted nails and even the scent of her perfume.

However, when she actually pays attention for what surrounds her, she notices that her room is a mess. The blue towel she separated for Yuqi is in front of the bathroom door, on the floor; her clothes are on the floor of her closet, all colors mixed, and most of the bathroom floor is wet. She didn't know that Yuqi was still so clumsy — Soyeon herself had always been the messy one between the two of them, so much that she had her apartment tidied up before the girl's birthday not to show it —, but the evidence is undeniable. 

She doesn’t clean any of that because she’s just too lazy: she never liked the cleaning part, so it is not a surprise. She just grabs another towel and takes a quick shower as usual, dressing and skipping breakfast right after, and meets Shuhua at the entrance of the building. 

The Taiwanese girl gives her a cup of iced coffee and does not mention the events of yesterday, nor does she make questions about her day; nevertheless, her eyes expose her emotions and Soyeon can tell that she really liked Yuqi, and that, talkative as Shuhua is, she is really controlling herself not to let out all of her meaningless phrases guided by her endless curiosity about her boss’ personal life. Soyeon is very grateful for that. 

They get in the car and sit next to each other in the back seat because, it is not that Soyeon doesn’t know how to drive, she just doesn’t like it, and the privilege of having someone doing it for her is something that she will keep for as long as she can. 

She gives Hui the order and the car starts to move. 

On normal days, she commutes from home to work on her cell phone, checking emails and being updated by Shuhua about her schedule for the day. But she doesn't feel that today is a normal day for her and ignores everything her assistant says, admiring the view that the car window gives her while trying to keep a smile from growing in . She fails, and, eventually, Shuhua gives up on talking as well, letting her breathe and think in peace. 

As expected, yes, it was a little bit hard for her to see the woman who kicked her out of her own apartment years ago by the hair only because she was kissing her daughter, and of course that this kind of trauma stays for a while, but she managed to act cool and pretend nothing was happening during all that nightmare because she didn’t want to ruin Yuqi’s life. And a lot of people nowadays don’t have a soulmate anymore because they died and she chose to use this excuse when Yuqi’s mother asked her who was her and if she knew anyone there. 

She didn’t exactly lie , though. She knew Yuqi and she knew Miss Song, just like everyone else from Yuqi’s family. The only person she didn’t know was the one who was sleeping by her side when she woke up, a tall guy called Wong Yukhei, as her soulmate’s Instagram said — her phone password was still “cute giraffe”, by the way. 

At first, it was a shock and she ran to the bathroom to cry for half an hour since the man was still unconscious. But, when she gave up on crying and got up the floor, she saw that it made sense. He was handsome, probably rich, Chinese and, well, a man. He already had a lot of advantage only for this last part, and suddenly all the hope about getting together with Yuqi that she was trying to deny she had was sent to the trash for the fact that the girl had built an entire life without her. A better one; saffer one.

Although she really wanted not to cause any troubles, she could not stand a whole day of that — it was like a reminding of the life she could have had with the love of her life, after all —, so she came up with a fake cold and spent all day in the bed, too glad that it was a week day, so Yukhei left her to go to work. She would end up telling the truth if she had to kiss him, or cuddle him even, that is for sure.

So, unlike Yuqi’s day, Soyeon’s was really bad. But it’s not like she is thinking about it right now, while she appreciates the pretty streets outside the car’s window. 

No, she is thinking about how much mature her soulmate looked, how much good time has made for her, and mainly how fast her heart started beating when she entered Yuqi’s studio and saw all those paintings accumulated on the floor. It was when her hope lighten up again.

There were dozens of them lying down on the floor and the figures of animals — like lions and giraffes, which was a reference to their past —, and mainly landscapes, colored the frames. Soyeon saw Jeju Island sky there and a flashback got her: their first and only trip, when Soyeon took Yuqi to her cousin’s house in Jeju and they spent an entire week to celebrate their two months anniversary. 

She couldn’t help the thought that, perhaps, Yuqi hadn’t forget about her entirely. Perhaps, despite her family’s orders, she wasn’t able to let Soyeon go. 

That is precisely why Soyeon, being the smart girl that she is, wrote a note asking Yuqi to, if there still was any change at all they could be together, meet her at the Pont Des Arts, a very important bridge of Paris where people used to go to hang padlocks on it with the believe that their love would last as long as the padlocks were there, two months from there. She hid it on Yuqi’s favorite book, a novel called Jane Eyre, by the British writer Charlotte Brontë, because she knew, just like everybody else, that it was an habit of Yuqi to keep reading it again and again, and left the book by the headboard before going to sleep — which, by the way, she did before Yukhei got home just so she wouldn’t have to even speak to him. 

A few hours later, she was back at her body again, fortunately, as it has been seen. However, this time she is shameless for being dreamy about her possibilities with her soulmate, for she has always been a confident girl, a believer of fate. She is sure that it will do its job and put together the two of them so they can finally be truly happy, so they can finally live the life Destiny picked for them.

So, before asking Shuhua to recite her appointments for the day, she opens the calendar app on her phone and sets a reminding: November 23, Pont Des Arts. She smiles once more and makes an effort to pay attention at every single world that her Taiwanese mate manages to direct to her once she gives the permission to, wishing the day would come as soon as possible.

 

+++

 

It is November 23 — finally — and Soyeon is on her way to the Pont Des Arts for her long awaited meeting with Yuqi. She is excited and everyone around her can see it, even her building’s doorman, who complimented her yellow dress and her big smile as soon as she came out of the elevator. Truth be spoken, even her friends, who are not with her right now, know it, since she texted them right after she got out of her shower and then when she got ready, so they could see her outfit, even though they helped her to choose it, and before her breakfast, and when she left her house. 

Soyeon is nervous.

Of course she would be nervous. Today is a very important day for her because she is seeing her soulmate for the first time after almost six years, since she doesn’t consider taking Yuqi’s body for a day a real meeting. She prepared everything a week before so the day would be perfect: she woke up earlier to wash her hair, cleaned the house and got ready in time; ordered Shuhua to buy her a car because she would definitely need it with Yuqi in France with her; redecorated everything so there would be enough space for Yuqi to settle in and reserved a table at her favorite restaurant for them to have a good dinner. 

She is just leaving the flower shop where she bought a bouquet of roses when her cell phone vibrates in her hand and she unlocks it to see a text message from Miyeon, her cousin, asking her to take a picture with Yuqi when they get together and update her on their relationship status once they sort things out. She texts back promising to do so and starts to walk again. 

It is like the day is smiling at her because everything feels perfect, very positive. Even though it is almost Winter now, the day has begun a little warm and the sun is so shiny, so powerful. She even felt comfortable enough to use a dress and a pantyhose — she has a coat inside her bag, though, just in case. Her energy feels new and her mood is so good. It is like heaven. 

She stops at a coffee shop to buy an iced coffee for her and some hot lemon tea for Yuqi, hoping that the girl still likes it as much as she used to in the past, and leaves a big tip at the counter before heading to the bridge once more, proving the Destiny that her good mood can do some real good to the world.

A few minutes later, the Pont Des Arts welcomes her with a soft breeze and the smell of soap, thanks to the guy who was making soap bubbles for the kids in the other side of the bridge. Still, it is nice and she sits on one of the concrete benches in the middle of it, watching the people around her with the most solid calm she has ever had. 

There is a couple of old people hugging each other a few meters from her, plus the father and daughter, as she wants to believe, with the bubbles and a small group of three girls taking pictures next to the grid. Some tourists come and go there as well, stopping to admire the view from five to five minutes, and some people in workout clothes running past her now and then. 

It doesn’t matter how many times Soyeon goes there, the bridge will continue to be her favorite place until the day she dies, whether she goes there to think, to relax, to work in peace or to have a date with her soulmate. That is why nothing can bother there, despite the meaning of her waiting, of course. 

However, an entire hour passes and she starts to think that she is ahead of schedule. She checks out her phone and sees that, no , she is just in time. Yuqi is the one who is kind of late, actually, but only a few minutes late, so she doesn’t get worried nor pays attention to the fact that there is no more coffee on her cup anymore and, eventually, Yuqi’s tea gets cold. 

The air surround her also gets cold and she is obligated to take her coat off of her bag and dress it up. When she notices, it is already afternoon and her stomach is craving for food while the flowers of the bouquet in her hands withered. Still, she stays, refusing to believe the love of her life is not coming and ignoring the messages her friends send her.

Her face expression starts to die slowly as the hours go through, but it is only when the sky starts to get darker that the shadow of the thought that Yuqi might not come at all hits her. It takes a little bit of time for it to settle into her mind and convince her entirely. Nevertheless, she has more than enough proofes to let go of her believing, although she doesn’t really want to.

Soyeon gets up and not only her heart begins to hurt, but her legs as well, for staying still for so long. There are tears being held in her eyes and a cry wanting to come out of . She doesn’t allow herself to none of those things, though, and gives the flowers to the first couple she sees before walking back to her apartment, heartbroken as she never been, not even when Yuqi left her. It is hurting way more this time.

She thinks it is funny how she didn’t doubt that Yuqi would come, that Yuqi would choose her over a fake, unhappy life, for once. It is ridiculous, even. She was so sure she would see her girl again, so sure they would be kissing and starting a life together. She felt it, she dreamed about it, but there is nothing. There is nothing but lost occupying her thoughts now, nothing but pain.

Maybe fate has failed her.

No, fate has failed her, it is clear because, when she enters her apartment again, she is alone and every single part of her body, inside and outside, hurts. She knows she will be alone forever, for she would never be able to love anyone else but Yuqi in her life and being with someone she doesn’t love just isn’t her: it is the only flaw about having a soulmate, you could never forget about them. And, even if she had the chance, would she do it? Would she erase Yuqi and whatever they once had from her mind, from her life? She doesn’t know either, she doesn’t want to. 

Her body reaches the small cellar next to her kitchen and she grabs as many wine bottles as she can, heading to her office without caring about the bag she just left on the floor, or the cell phone she just drowned in the toilet bowl. The only thing that matters is that one of her organs is missing: her heart.

It is in China.

 

(...)

 

Not much later in that same night — it is 10pm, to be specific —, Seo Soojin, Soyeon’s best friend and workmate, arrives the CEO’s building in a shiny red dress and fancy high heels. She goes up the elevator and opens the apartment door with the key Soyeon gave her in the beginning of the year in case something ever happened. She has to use her cell phone flashlight to see anything because the windows are closed and not a single light is on. 

When Minnie called her one hour ago by Miyeon’s commands to ask her if Soyeon had contacted her since lunch time, she knew something bad was going on and, well, she had to act. The Cho couple would have done it themselves, but they are in Thailand, on a vacation to celebrate Minnie’s parents wedding anniversary and wouldn’t be back for a least one more week. So, being the good friend Soojin is, she canceled her date with Yeh Shuhua and left the Cuban bar to go there and check on Soyeon. 

Shuhua got really disappointed because she had been begging for Soojin to give her a chance since she started working for Soyeon and when she finally got it, it is taken away from her like that. But she understood it, of course. Best friends should always come first and Soojin would go out with her in some other time, so it is all right. She even gave her date a ride to the building to show she was ok with it, despite the older’s complainants about Shuhua’s motorcycle. 

It is a shock when she enters the main bedroom and finds Soyeon laying on the floor; her back is against the wall and her head faces the wine bottle in her hands. Her yellow dress is stained and there are some other bottles around her as well, all empty.

Dear Lord, her friend is in misery . 

Soojin cautiously moves closer and leaves her purse on the bed before bending her knees and taking the bottle away from the blonde’s hands. She takes care so none of the them would break because it is still glass and having broken pieces of glass on the floor with a very drunk Soyeon there is a terrible idea. Soyeon doesn’t even look at her when she puts her arms around her, she carries these lost eyes that tells the brunette she won’t make a move, even though she knows Soojin doesn’t have enough strength to lift her up by herself.

“Come on, Soyeon. You have to get up.”

In response, Soyeon moans and tries to leave the girl’s touch.

“No,” she pushes her own body back and the both of them almost fall down.

“Please, help me here, I’m not that strong,” Soojin squeezes Soyeon’s arms and feels her legs burn when she uses all of her strength to keep the small body up on her foot. 

The blonde groans and shakes her head. “No. Let go of me.”

“I can’t believe I’m missing my date for this.”

“If you’re not Yuqi, I don’t want you here.”

Soojin bites her lips not to curse that stupid Chinese girl for destroying someone so strong as Soyeon like this and let’s the younger take a breath over the toilet lid. She uses this little time to catch her own breath as well and holds Soyeon's hair in a ponytail.

“You are better than this, So. I really need you to get up now. Come on.”

This time, when the brunette touches her again, Soyeon doesn’t push back and tries her best not to stumble somehow. However, she doesn’t realize she is inside her shower box. 

“I lost her, Jinie. I truly lost her this time.”

Soojin wanted to say that no one could lose what they didn’t have in the first place, but that was not the case because Soyeon had Yuqi once. Even harder than that, they belonged to each other. So, instead, she sighs and turns on the shower. The cold water shocks her at first, but soon she barely feels it. She bets Soyeon doesn’t either. 

“I know, Soyeonie. I’m sorry, it will be ok.”

“I ing hate Destiny.”

“Don’t blame it on It, dear. It’s not It’s fault.”

She starts to take off Soyeon’s dirty clothes as she watches her blond hair go wet. The water makes the girl’s tears go away, but Soyeon’s sniffs makes it clear that she is still crying. 

“Why would It made my Yuqi’s soulmate, then? Is it funny to watch me suffer like this? Is it?” Her first sentence doesn’t make that much sense and that is the highest level of drunk Soyeon could ever get.

Soojin holds her own cry when her friend starts crying hard, harder than she has ever seen, like she is a lost kid in the middle of the mall and is desperate . She hugs her and squeezes their bodies against each other. 

“I’m sorry. I’m here for you and I’m so sorry, Soyeonie. I promise it will get better.”

They both knew it wouldn’t.

 

+++ 

 

It’s been a while now since that tearful day that Soyeon doesn’t even want to mention, and she has been dealing with things the only way she knows: ignoring it. She is ignoring the fact that Yuqi never showed up, or that all of her friends give her this pity look whenever they are with their respective lovers in front of her, or that she has a soulmate at all. It is not healthy and she knows it, but it works and she cannot afford to have another breakdown like that any time soon. 

She is completely devoted to her work now, focused on opening her own company and taking all of CUBE’s customers with her, since the credits of the great amount of money that go into the company’s account for the last months is only hers since the moment they gave her a chance to run the business and her terrific ideas brought the corporation to the covers of all important magazines again, which hadn’t happened for three consecutive years, when the CEO Kim Hyuna was fired for having an affair with an ordinary man that used to work for another enterprise. 

Nowadays, they are both working at PSY Entertainment and are good friends of Soyeon. They are helping her, just like Miyeon and Shuhua, with everything she needs to be successful, besides her natural talent, of course. She is convinced that it will work.

Nevertheless, she still works at CUBE, so she has a lot of meetings with important people in name of it. Like the one she is in right now, trying to persuade Lee Soman and Yang Hyun-Suk to sign a collaboration with Park Choong-Min for the new Victoria Secrets campaign. 

If she is being honest, she doesn’t think it will work as much as the board told her it would, but she is doing it either way because it is her job. SM Entertainment may have good models, just like it is known that YG is the first choice for international business; however, they both have the worst fame possible when it comes caring about people and the campaign aims to help charity groups all over the world. People would not take it seriously. 

Soyeon told her opinion to the board, as usual, but, this time, they decided to ignore her, until one of the members suggested to leave the decision to their partners during the meeting and almost everyone agreed with it. 

So there she is now, talking and talking for an hour straight, to present her ideas and the possible concepts they could use to make the campaign work without many bad feedbacks, while Park Choong-Min watches it from his chair, just waiting for her to make a mistake so he can cut off her speech and take the lead of the meeting. He has his own ideas, for he does not trust that young girl enough to simply give to her the responsibility of something so big that could bring great attention to the company. He wants his name on it.

For his bad luck, Jeon Soyeon is amusing her public and the men and their secretaries are apparently liking the proposals very much. But, when she is about to finish it, someone knocks the door twice and a shy Shuhua shows her head.

“Uh, I’m sorry for interrupting,” she apologizes, turning to Soyeon and being a victim of Soojin’s curious gaze. “Soyeon, you must come with me.”

The way Shuhua always forgot to be formal with her boss is just different. 

“I must?” She raises her eyebrows.

“Yes.”

“Shuhua, not the time,” Soojin whispers from the dark corner of the wall, right next to the big screen that glows with the slides.

Before Soyeon can give any orders, Park Choong-Min speaks without being called for the second time.

“Miss Jeon?” His eyes judge her so hard. “Would you mind to explain it to us?”

The blonde takes a deep breath because she also doesn’t know what all of that is about, but she promises herself to kill Shuhua once she is done with the meeting.

“I apologize. This is my assistant, Yeh Shuhua. Shuhua, whatever it is, deal with it. I am busy right now.” 

“Look at the window.”

“What?”

Shuhua widens her eyes and insists once more. “Just look at it.”

Soyeon sighs and only does it so the girl would leave. She leans her head to the glass wall and gets surprised when sees what exactly is wrong with her view: there a lot of people concentrated in the entrance of the building. Like, a lot . She doesn’t know what is happening or what is going on, but it alarms her to the point that she is willing to let the gentlemen alone.

“,” she whispers to herself.

“Miss Jeon?” Park Choong-Min calls again.

Across the room, he moves uneasy in his chair while expecting an explanation. Soyeon, in turn, waves for Soojin to approach her and gives her the screen’s command.

“I won’t be able to finish this meeting, gentleman. My vice-director, Seo Soojin, will take the lead of this presentation. I am very sorry.”

She leaves before any of them has the chance to say something and takes Shuhua with her, getting inside the elevator as fast as she can with her heart beating in an absurd speed. Did that have to happen right when one of the board members was passing by? What kind of life is Destiny trying to give her? 

“What is happening?” She rushes her words. “Is it like, a protest or something? Have you called the police?”

“Oh, you should see who’s leading them.” 

“What do you mean?”

They get out of the elevator when the doors to the hall floor open up and speed up their steps outside the building. Not a single security guard goes after them because Shuhua told them earlier not to do so, but Soyeon doesn’t know about it. Actually, it is a miracle that Shuhua knows anything at all about that great amount of people. That is only thanks to Cho Miyeon, by the way.

The view is even more frightening for Soyeon up close than fourteen floors away. She is sure that she has never seen any of those people in her life and does not remember of seeing ads about any events lately. However, they seem to be holding signs, so she suspects it is a protest. But what are they protesting for and why does it have to be in front of CUBE’s building? 

“Oh, ,” she says, pressing her nails against her palms without noticing. Her body starts to walk forward so maybe she could ask one of them what is happening, but a loud sound is heard and she frowns, stopping in the middle of the street. “What the actual-”

The noise continues and turns into a song. Soyeon knows that melody because she used to listen to it all the time when she was younger, by Yuqi’s side. And then, when Yuqi left, she listened to it whenever she felt alone, whenever she needed to recharge her faith in love or whenever she needed strength to keep on going. 

If it is their song playing, would Yuqi be there as well?

No, she promised herself she wouldn’t believe in any of those things anymore. She wouldn’t give fate a chance to break her heart even more than it already is broken, so she holds the emotion in and looks around, for she is sure no one is there for her.

People started walking, but nothing makes sense because there is no defined direction: some of them are following the right, others the left, and others the front. It is as if they are walking randomly through the street, without caring about the congestion of cars they are causing. They raise their plates until they have their faces covered and Soyeon is startled to see herself in them, with her soulmate . There are old photos of them scattered in the hands of people who pretend not to see her, not recognize her, and she is unable to hold back her tears.

She gives in and starts to search. It cannot be a coincidence, it could never be a coincident, nor even a trick. Her fearless eyes search for an expecific body shape, for an expecific hair, but she finds nothing, not until those unknown people organize themselves in an obvious formation in front of her, a circle around her body — Soyeon doesn’t see it, but Shuhua is behind her holding a sign as well.

The music ends and she feels lost among all that public, exposed. She wants answers and, lucky her, Yuqi can sense her nervousness, so she lowers the sign to show her face. Soyeon looks like she just saw a ghost.

“What are you doing here?”

Yuqi leaves the plate on the floor and comes closer.

“In my defense, I didn’t know about your note, not until Miyeon calls me screaming and cursing last month,” she starts, cleaning Soyeon’s wet place with her fingers and holding the girl’s hand right after. “My mother knew it was you the whole time, she took the note before I woke up.”

The blonde looks down at their clasped hands and then to her favorite brown eyes again.

“Yuqi-ah, what are you doing here?”

“I would have come sooner, I swear I would. But it turns out that it is kind of complicated to move to France, you know, mainly because my mom wouldn’t let me leave the house nor take anything with me.”

“You are moving here?”

Yuqi doesn’t blame her for saying it like it is something completely unbelievable. She took some time to accept it herself, to convince her afraid head that it was the right thing to do. She was only sure of how right this decision was when she was already inside the plane, about to leave her home, her students and, well, her family. One look at Soyeon’s face and she knew it worthed. 

But it is not she who is afraid now, it is Soyeon. Soyeon, the girl who was always sure about everything that involved them, who used to narrate Yuqi’s moves so confidently because of how good she knew her girlfriend's mind, who spent months preparing things so Yuqi’s birthday would be perfect, a blessing, who stated so vividly that they would get married one day.

The right word to describe her feeling is insecurity. Maybe all of this is a dream, maybe she is actually in some hospital’s bed losing her mind and all of this is just part of a trick her subconscious is trying to play. Nevertheless, Yuqi’s hands feel good against hers. They have the same softness than years ago, the same warm way of showing caring and it eases the fear in Soyeon’s eyes. Soon, she stops crying.

Yuqi smiles kindly, understanding each little piece of insecurity that comes out of her soulmate’s body.

“Why do you think I’m here, Soyeonie? Why do you think all of this,” she opens her arms to point at all those people around them. “Is happening right now?” One of her hands reaches the blonde’s lips, touching them as if they were the most precious thing in the world. For Yuqi, it is a good description. “I love you, Jeon Soyeon, more than I will ever love anyone else. And I would be really glad if you accept to marry me.”

Not even Shuhua was expecting Yuqi to go down on her knees and offer Soyeon a small, black open box, with a sparkling ring between the cushioned foam. Soyeon’s reaction was to cover and cry again.

“Oh, my God.”

She just kept staring at it like it was a mirage, like Yuqi wasn’t really in front of her now proposing. The waiting started to make the brunette nervous and Shuhua had to intervene once more.

“She needs an answer, you jerk!”

The more Soyeon thought about it, the more she cried. The tightness in her chest that had been telling her she would be alone forever was not there anymore. She wasn’t alone, she wouldn’t die alone, she wouldn’t live alone;  but she needed more that, so she threw herself against Yuqi's body on the floor and narrowly both of them didn’t fall. She felt herself being squeezed like a little kid by the younger’s arms and Yuqi's calm breath warm her neck.

It was pretty real. It is.

“It’s all right. I’m here now, I won’t go anywhere.”

“I love you so much, Yuqi-ah,” Soyeon hid her face in Yuqi’s hair after confessing not to cry in public.

“I know, Soyeonie, I love you too. I’m sorry for taking so much time to prioritize that.  I won’t never get any far from you ever again. I promise.”

And Soyeon believed.