Nothing could've prepared Minjeong for the silence that followed. Her room was colder than usual, the whole apartment felt empty.

She doesn’t remember much of what had happened, all she knows is that she had an argument with Jimin, she hasn't had a decent sleep in a month and that she had research to work on. At first she didn't question it and enjoyed the serendipity of being alone, she was able to submit her research entry and comply with the remaining requirements for the semester but it had been weeks since and she hasn't heard from senator Kim, it was like he completely cut off ties after she submitted her entry for the Kim Yongchul Award, that wasn't new to her though.

Jimin was also nowhere to be found, she hadn't seen her anywhere in the university, hadn't received a single message or call from her and it was almost the start of summer break. Minjeong couldn't remember specifically what they argued about but it must've been serious, they usually talk about differences and handle disagreements as soon as possible but it was close to two weeks since she had seen Jimin last.

With her research entry already being submitted and the semester closing its end, Minjeong was left with nothing.

The silence was deafening.

Minjeong stares at the window from the bed, watches the setting sun as it illuminates her almost empty room. Her gaze shifts to the walls, some spots, mainly the ones she worked on were uneven. She had messed up on the first coat and tried to fix it with the second one but that only made it look a lot messy, but that doesn’t matter because Jimin told her that she was proud of her for doing the paint herself even with the imperfections. There was also a large smudge on the edge from that time she pushed Jimin against the wall only to shut her up with a kiss when she was complimenting her non-stop. The memory made her smile.

Jimin was proud of her.

She wondered when the last time her father told her that he was proud of her. She couldn’t recall much, maybe he never did.

What Minjeong remembers is her younger self asking her dad why he never said he was proud of her when all of her classmates' parents tell them that all the time, why he was never home, why he never attended any of her school events or why being his daughter was a secret. She remembers not getting an answer.

She remembers him saying “If you behave like a good girl, daddy will be back in no time.”

She remembers taking his words to heart and working her off to get the highest marks in school, to be good at sports, to be better than the other children.

Even still, he didn’t come home.

When she sees him on tv introducing his “only child”, Minjeong clenches her fist and uses the anger boiling up in her to work harder.

She just wants his validation, she just wants his attention, she just wants to hear him tell her that he’s proud, she just wants her dad to come home.

She just wants to be enough.

That's why it was no surprise that she agreed to her father's request of pushing through with the research. After all, that was the first time Senator Kim himself gave her a call and not some secretary. When he told her to take prescription meds to keep her awake, she did. For the first time her father was communicating with her and at that point in her life, she was willing to do anything to be acknowledged.

But as soon as her entry was submitted about half a month ago, everything went back to normal. Senator Kim doesn't reply to her messages anymore, he doesn't call to ask her how her research is going, he is basically gone.

The sad part was that Jimin also wasn't there anymore.

The abrupt knocking on her front door interrupts her momen. When she opened the door an angry Yizhuo with a bag of groceries welcomed her.

“Shut up, I still hate you but we’re worried that you might not be eating well.” The younger of the two looks around and sees the mess her flat has become.

“Guess I’m right.” she mutters before sighing.

Ningning enters, settles the groceries on the kitchen counter and starts filling the fridge.

“Ning” Minjeong coos but gets no reply. She tried starting a conversation with the shorter woman but each of her attempts failed.

“Ning, please talk to me, I can’t understand what’s happening anymore.” Minjeong plopped on the stool by the kitchen island.

“I can’t remember .” Ningning, in the middle of placing a cucumber on her fridge, snaps in her direction.

“You what?” she asks.

“Everything since the other week has been a blur, I remember having an argument with Jimin but I don’t remember what it was about and I don’t know how to fix it because I haven’t seen her in 2 weeks.” Minjeong confesses, both hands on her head. Thinking, trying to remember.

Ningning places her hands on her own waist and raises an eyebrow at her friend.

“Well, do you at least remember being a horrible ing b*tch to Jimin?” Minjeong frowns at the words being thrown at her.

“What the hell are you even talking about? We had an argument, that’s all.” She tried to reason out but her friend was still glaring at her.

“We had an argument, that’s all.” Ningning imitates her using a mocking tone. “Here, I’ll make you remember.” The cucumber on the younger woman’s hand flies straight towards her head without a warning.

Minjeong touches the part where she was hit. “the ’s wrong with you today?”

“what the ’s wrong with you for the past few months? I understand that you're a human being who could have frustrations but taking it out on someone who genuinely cares about you is just a d*ckhead move. I thought you were better than that."

Minjeong finally stood up, got the now empty prescription medicine bottle from her room and placed it in front of the other woman.

"I was on medication and no, I'm not trying to make excuses but can we please stop with this riddling, I want to fix whatever this is too, I just need to know what's happening because I'm really confused right now." She says, almost pulling her own hair. Trying hard not to burst.

Ningning picks up the bottle and reads the label "Adderall…. amphetamine. you're not diagnosed with– ing hell, this isn't even for you why are you–"

"My dad said it would keep me awake! So I can have time to submit my entry for the award and comply with university stuff."

"Th