Hyewon wakes up, not understanding how she returned home because her last memory is Minju buckling up at the driver’s seat next to her. She frowns at the way her breath smells because it reeks of that lackluster wine from last night. She swings her legs off the edge of her bed and decides to grab a coffee, not thinking about the imminent reaction she’d receive from her mother. 

 

As she descends the stairs, her mother is at the kitchen frying some eggs when she acknowledges her, rather jovial for the morning.

 

“Oh, you’re awake. Did you drink last night?”

 

How…? Hyewon barely gets herself a seat at the table with her brother glancing at her. His expression is unreadable.

 

Hyewon shrugged, trying to balance out her mother’s energetic tone,  “Uh, just a little. They had a small free sample but I wasn’t going to let my friend drink it.”

 

“Oh, speaking of your friend… You owe her a dinner at our place! Do you even remember how you got to your bed?” She continues to bombard her with questions, not realizing the girl is mentally not there.

 

Hyewon thinks she doesn’t want to know and expresses that thought through her silence. Her eyes are expressionless but inside, she’s wondering why she thought her body that never ingests alcohol would be fine with a 6 oz. wine sample. She makes a mental note to send Minju an apologetic text. 

 

“... Apparently you wouldn’t wake up, so she got you to stand up at least, but she was supporting about half of your weight. She’s quite nice, you ungrateful bastard.”

Hyewon sighs and grabs her mug to take her leave.

 

“Ungrateful, I am.”

 

As she goes back to her room, that’s when her face decides to turn a shade of pink. She turns on her phone and sees some text notifications from the reason she had to drink the wine in the first place.

 

Kim Minju not Minju: “I feel like if I had drunken it, I still would’ve been able to drive :P”

 

But how are you? I guess when you told me last year that you don’t drink, you really don’t drink. That was quite a show there, Kwangbae.”

 

Hyewon resists the urge to throw her phone across the room and she lays on her bed, still ashamed.

 

KwangBAE: “Hmph. I don’t think being an alcoholic is something you should be proud of.”

 

She knows she sounds like a mother and that Minju would for it, but nonetheless, she can’t back down. They text back and forth until she gets a knock on her bedroom door. 

 

“Come in,” she says in a monotone, continuing to craft witty texts for Minju. 

 

“Eggs are done, wanna eat?” 

 

It’s her mother at the door which is quite odd for her. Usually, her mother sends Kyeongwoo to call her down to eat.  Her mother’s behavior this entire morning has been offputting considering how stressed she has been job-searching and being at home all the time. She stares at her for a second until she decides to sit upright and put her phone down.

 

“In a little bit,” Hyewon says with hesitance. She thinks her mother would leave after that, but she goes in her room after standing at the door for the past few minutes. She sits on the edge of her bed and lightly slaps her thigh. The motion is playful in itself, but the way her mother blankly stares at a space on her bed makes her think otherwise. 

“Is this about…” 

 

“Yes, Hyewon. I’m sorry… You’re working so hard for us, it makes me wish I planned this whole adjustment a little more before rushing into moving.” She starts off, her voice quivering a little near the end. 

 

Hyewon shakes her head, trying to console her mother with that one action. She’s not good with words, but there’s so much she wants to say and so little she could actually vocalize.

 

There’s Minju again who’s at the forefront of her mind whenever this topic arises. Nothing held her back before from staying connected to her hometown. She knows she’s not the type to be hard to reach because of distance, but it seems like after they’ve met, it’s harder to leave. Of course, the majority of her experience has been more or less what she expected. She didn’t expect to love her ‘new home’ nor did she expect to hate it.

 

However, what she didn’t expect was the feeling Minju instilled within her.

 

Minju is a presence who makes her forget she’s in a place that is foreign and isolating. She is a home within a deserted land where one could simply feel lonely and abandoned.

 

She’s the possible in the impossible. 

 

All of a sudden, when Hyewon understands this, she is faced with the opportunity of returning to her actual home. The desert where she met Minju, the dry area that suffocates her until she is soaked dry, is the same desert she wants to stay in because it has Minju.

 

Minju is her reason to stay, but there’s an overwhelming amount of reasons to leave. 

 

Four months.

 

That’s how long Hyewon’s dream come true would last. She’s unsure if she’s ready to face the end, but seeing the look on her mother’s face she can’t say no.

 

“When are you thinking of going back? And how’s our house back there?”

 

“Fortunately your dad was smart enough to convince me that your grandfather can stay there for a while until things would work out for all of us. So, it’s still managed well. I’m just… worried for you, Hyewon. I know you didn’t love leaving your friends and home behind, but… of course, four months can be quite some time to feel at least a little attachment to this place.”

 

“I didn’t feel an attachment to a place, mom.”

 

Her mom stares at her and her eyes depict knowledge. 

“I felt attached to a person. No, she’s not a person to me. She’s a friend, a safe place, someone I must have known in my past life, she’s… she’s been everything for a while now, mom.”

 

Hyewon feels like her heart is being ripped out of her chest as she says these words that spill out. It’s like an overflowing bottle that keeps flooding out even if there are no more paper towels to clean it up. Spilling content won’t do anything. Nor will that content disappear. Those words will stay the same even after they leave and Hyewon knows.

 

So her eyes release a flood as well.

 

She doesn’t understand how emotions can be so complex and surprising, sometimes. She wishes she could be like others who know awhile back before their bodily processes would react. For her, she keeps everything still within her until everything chooses to move against her. And when everything does, she’s lost control completely.

 

Her mother takes her in her arms and nods, “I know. I’ve known from the moment you two met at the airport. I’m not blind. Love recognizes love. I saw those eyes that I gave your father when we first met. They’re not eyes that fell love at first sight. They’re eyes that just knew. They knew I found someone special. Someone that may not ever be mine, but would stay in my life forever.”

 

Someone that may not ever be mine, but would stay in my life forever.

 

Hyewon didn’t understand why that consoled her.

 

I mean, she wanted so badly to call Minju her girlfriend, to be deserving of a love that she could wake up to every day. She dreamed of that.

 

Yet, the fact that what her mother said consoled her meant that that didn’t matter to Hyewon. All that mattered was that even if they were separated by sea again, even if they would be staring at different skies…

 

All that mattered was Minju being there. For as long as she breathes.

 

... 

 

“Merry Christmas!” Hyewon tackles her brother into a hug, while he whines but doesn’t move away from her hug. Such a tsundere, Hyewon thinks to herself but forgets she’s one too. Guess it runs in the family. It’s about 5:00 AM in the morning when she greets the family and as a morning person, she’s the most excited.

 

It’s pretty bright outside because apparently in the U.S. there’s this thing called Daylight Savings Time and after November 1st, clocks are shifted an hour early.  However, the only drawback is that while the sun rises a lot earlier, the sun also sets significantly early. 

 

At 4 PM, the sun would be setting in contrast to the 8 PM sunsets during the summer.

 

Hyewon thinks it’s pretty cool, but also quite depressing because the day feels shorter. She feels that’s how her and Minju came to be. She thought the season of them was only beginning, but to find out that it would end pretty early as well.

 

It’s been about two weeks since she and her mother had the talk about returning to Korea. You’d think that she would’ve mentioned at least something to Minju by now, but she hasn’t. She wants to live in the present with her as long as she’s able.

 

“Merry Christmas, Minju! My parents invited you to eat with us later. Your parents could come as well if they want. :)”

 

Minju sees her text and panics a little inside. From August, she has only met Hyewon’s family twice. Once at the airport which was expected to be awkward since it was their first meeting. The second time was when Minju brought Hyewon home tipsy which was nerve-wracking because she hoped Ms. Kang wouldn’t think she