As much as she would have liked to stay in the safety and comforts of her home, tucked underneath her blankets and curtains drawn completely shut, Hwayoung did have to pay for bills and you know–live. Her job as a web developer could have been done from home, but she that thought a day in the office would do her some good. Seeing people, normal people, would be good for her. Or so she hoped.

She stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, the room behind her a mess of clothes and an array of books and torn up posters strewn about on the floor. She had almost forgotten the meltdown she had had the night prior after coming home; all she remembered was that her apartment had looked more dark and unwelcoming than ever before and she had felt so alone. A feeling of exhaustion washed over her, compelling her to crawl back into bed and sleep until she could forget who she was and what had been happening but all she could do was continue to stand there, staring into the tired eyes of her reflection.

“It’s going to be okay,” she repeated to herself as she brushed her hair in front of the mirror. She had been up since the sun had risen and couldn’t fall back to sleep because of her nightmares. Flashes of blood and lifeless faces flooded her dreams; the bloodthirsty smile of a familiar demonic face something she could not get out of her mind ever since Taemin had shown up in her life again. She trembled thinking of the images, her eyes squeezed tight as if she could force them away. She gave up when they wouldn’t (and of course they wouldn’t, they would stay with her forever) so she repeated to herself again, “It’s going to be okay.”

But was it really? Hwayoung had no clue whether this, whatever was going on with Taemin, was truly over. So how could she believe that things were going to be okay? Her life couldn’t move on unless she really knew that Taemin would never come back, she couldn’t try to be normal until she completely moved on and stopped mourning Jinki’s death. But that would prove impossible if Taemin didn’t leave her alone and she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that he had no plans to let her live in peace.

She couldn’t live like this, but she would have to.

“Okay… Time to go outside.”

____________________________

It had been such a long day. Hwayoung was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and she trudged down the street after finishing what felt like a month of tasks at work. She had tried so hard to occupy herself, occupy her mind, and she felt as if she had done too well at it. She felt so burnt out, all she wanted to do now was go home and sleep.

The sun was low in the sky; hues of orange and yellow dusted the clouds, and for a second Hwayoung felt almost warm.

Maybe I could go for some ice cream. She thought. I deserve some ice cream.

It had been so long since she had treated herself to her favourite soft-serve ice cream place, so she decided to pass up going home until later. Maybe taking some time to be in public and have dessert would do her some good.

As she strode through the throng of people, most of which seemed to be like her and leaving work and heading home to their families, she slowed her pace. She had always been the type to people watch and she liked to create stories for those she found interesting. Besides, the ice cream store could wait and it’d be nice to think about someone else’s life other than the huge disaster that was hers.

She spotted a bench that sat to the side of the bustling crowd and took a seat. A very large man in a business suit that was clearly too tight for him slowly walked by her, a defeated look on his face and his head hung low. Hwayoung frowned seeing his gloomy puckered lip, he must have had an interview today and didn’t do well… poor guy.

She continued to watch the dejected, too-tight-for-him business suit man walk until he had left her sight entirely before focusing on a beautiful woman in a simple blue summer dress who crossed her vision soon after. She looked quite happy, a smile on her ruby red lips, and she was holding a bag full of what Hwayoung assumed to be fresh fruits. Ah, I bet she just went to the market and bought some nice fruits for her and her husband. Hwayoung looked on sadly as the woman then walked up to a man, and they greeted each other warmly with a kiss; she didn’t fail to notice the similar rings on their fingers. Ah, so I was right.

She had almost forgotten what it was like to be in love. It looked really nice.

She tried to look away as the couple left together but her gaze couldn’t leave them as they strolled off, their fingers entwined tightly as if they were afraid to let the other go. I want that.

Unfortunately for Hwayoung, she knew that a relationship like that, a normal and functional relationship, was something she could never have considering how properly ed up she was. She laughed at how pathetic she sounded before deciding to continue watching the crowd. This was not the time for self-pity; she already decided that she would be happy right now, even if it were for just a moment.

As she scanned the crowd for another interesting person, her eyes caught a familiar head of brown hair about a hundred feet away walking away from her and she froze. She stood slowly, her eyes straining for a better look because it looked like—I mean it couldn’t be­—it looked like…

Jinki?

The person turned at the moment, staring at one of the store windows down the street, and Hwayoung felt as if the world had stopped when she had seen the smile, lips, she spent years tracing with her own. It was him. Even from yards away, she knew it was him.

Before Hwayoung could even register what was going on (because Jinki? Was she really seeing Jinki?), her feet were already running. She was trying so hard to keep up with that head of hair and trying to not let it leave her sight, but it was proving to be difficult as she struggled running through the crowds of endless people. Pushing through person after person, she finally had to stop in her tracks to take a breath and looked left and right, side to side and all directions. Her breathing was ragged and her eyes were wide and frenzied as she turned and looked all around her examining the faces that surrounded her but not seeing Jinki in any of them. He was gone.

She had lost him and the idea of a cup of her favourite ice cream and a quiet evening to herself had been completely forgotten. And so, her insides caved in on each other and her heart throbbed painfully in her chest, she was numb again. 

However, what Hwayoung failed to notice was the smiling face of her tormentor, standing across the street, watching and enjoying her internal sorrow.

Annnnd it's a Hwayoung centric chapter! Yes, I'm very sorry about another short chapter but there's 
just so much set up for what I'm going for and I just want to do so well for you guys! Thank you so 
much so far for the support, I really hope that you all like it. Again.. if there's grammatical errors,
please excuse me it's late! Leave some me a comment please, I would really love it!

autokan