Chapter XV
Say Yes To The LimelightCivannah’s Bedroom
D-3 until Katrina’s Birthday
“Wake up Civannah.”
“Just let me sleep.”
“Civannah!”
“Let me sleep.”
“I’ve let you hide away in here. Get the up!” Katrina yelled as she pulled the blanket off of Civannah.
“I’m up!” Civannah yelled as she sat upwards on her bed.
“Go get dressed.” Katrina said as she made her way out of the room.
“Why?” Civannah asked, wiping her eyes.
“You’re going somewhere.”
“Can’t I just stay here? Or go to your apartment?”
Katrina sighed. “Just go get cleaned up.”
Katrina made her way out of Civannah’s room and headed back to the living room.
“So did you wake sleeping beauty?” Yunha laughed.
“Barely. But she usually doesn’t take too long to get ready so you’ll probably be out of here by one.”
“You’re handling this really well.” Yunha spoke.
“Am I not supposed too?”
“I’m not sure. Civannah said that you don’t like idols, yet here’s your best friend hiding that she’s been dating one for two years.”
“Are you trying to make me mad? What’s your point?”
“No point. Just curious.” Yunha said.
“Guys remember this is about giving her a good day.” Ryan spoke.
“Yeah. She’s been amazing handling our videos, we shouldn’t make her worry today.” Hina spoke, hoping that the two girls would keep calm for the day.
The room got quite
“I have something to handle, so I hope you guys enjoy.” Katrina spoke, picking her bag up from the counter.
“But this was your idea!” Ryan yelled.
“I know!” Katrina yelled back and left out the door.
Fritz Coffee Company
“Ahh...no its fine. We understand….Yes, well arrange a time for a Vlive as well as an Instagram live….No...Give our best wishes… Thanks. Goodbye.”
“So they aren’t showing?” Changmin asked after Katrina ended the call.
“No. Family emergency. So well probably have you do a shared live and individual lives on Friday.” Katrina said, picking up her cup and also spilling it’s hot contents when Changmin yelled, gaining the attention of the workers.
“It can’t be Friday!”
“Why not?” Katrina asked, confused.
“It’s your birthday. You can’t work on your birthday.” Changmin said matter of factly.
“Why can’t I?”
“Shouldn’t you enjoy your birthday?”
“No. I hate my birthday.” Katrina said with a slight hint of annoyance.
“You hate it?”
“I don't have good adult experiences for my birthday, so I just don’t celebrate it.”
“Come on. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“When I turned twenty, my parents got divorced. When I turned twenty-one, I had an accident on set of an interview. When I turned twenty-two, I found out Matthew strung me along.”
“What about twenty-three?”
“There’s someone else that should hear about twenty-three before you.”
“Someone else? Does Civannah not know?” Changmin asked and Katrina shook her head.
“No one knows. I kept it to myself.”
“Then I won’t pry. However, I’m curious as to why you haven’t confronted Matthew yet? I mean when I found out, I wanted to fire him as Civannah’s assistant. But you, you just avoid him.”
“Because I know that my time here is limited. I’m not staying here forever. I don’t really want to dwell on it, which is why I get upset when others feel the need to input themselves. I came to do a job and once you and Civannah are public, my job is over. I’ll leave and it’ll be like I was never here. I didn’t come to mess up everyone’s lives. I didn’t come to break you and Civannah up. Everyone will just be better off when I leave.”
“That’s not true! Civannah is going to miss you so much more than before you came. Jongin will be devastated. And Taemin seems to have taken a liking to you.”
“So Jongin really does like me?” Katrina asked quietly.
“It’s not my place to say.”
“Taemin said enough that day for me to realize that I’m still blind. I was blind when it came to Matthew and I was blind when it came to Jongin.”
“You’re not blind. You just didn’t see him as more than a friend. You still don’t?”
“I feel bad. He’s been nothing but a sweetheart. It was like our disagreement in California didn’t even affect our friendship. Yet here I am, ruining his friendship with Taemin. I’m so stupid.”
“Hey! Why are you beating yourself up about it?”
Katrina sat quietly for sometime before she composed herself enough to speak again.
“What I’m about to tell you you can’t tell anyone else, at least not yet.”
“Okay, but now I’m nervous.” Changmin said sitting back in his seat.
“I’m Fern.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m Fern.”
“There’s no way you’re Fern.” Changmin laughed. “Taemin met Fern at Coachella when I met Civannah.”
“Correct. I went to Coachella with her and our friends. Sorry,I can’t tell you in-depth, Taemin hasn’t asked me and I haven’t told him.”
“But have you given him the chance to ask? I’m sure you’ve avoided him, like you did Matthew.”
“I told him to ignore me. I didn’t want people finding out. I think that made him even more angry with me. I’m sure he has so many questions he wants to ask, but he’s telling me he’ll wait for me, but-” Katrina spoke but stopped suddenly.
“But what?”
“Sorry I’m rambling…”
“You’re not rambling. I’m as much your friend as you’ve been to Civannah.” Changmin said as he stood up and gave Katrina a hug. “I’m here if you ever want to talk, but I think that before you talk with me, before you even explain things to Civannah, you need to figure out who you love.” Changmin said, backing out of the hug.
“Who I love?” Katrina questioned.
“Yeah. I think Jongin and Taemin, even that Blake guy, they all deserve to know the truth. And your true feelings. I won’t say rush it, but I wouldn’t wait too long, things around here seem to turn bigger than need be.”
The Spa In Garden 5
“There you are. They’ve been looking for you.” Ryan said as she approached Civannah, who seemed to be watching the wedding.
“Do you want to get married Ryan?” Civannah asked, not even moving her eyes from the wedding.
“It’s a bit hard in my circumstances, but someday, yes.”
“Your circumstances?”
“It’s a bit hard when you’re in a country that doesn’t support same relationships...” Ryan said quietly, as to not attract attention from the wedding.
“What?”
“I’m a lesbian, Civannah.” Ryan said, stunning Civannah.
“I didn’t know...you don’t…”
“I don’t seem like the type that likes girls? Yeah I’ve noticed.”
“No. I was going to say you don’t have to hide it. If that’s your preference, then be proud.”
“I didn’t think we were on friendly enough terms. Which is probably my fault. I want you to know that I never meant to come off as the bad guy. Or that I don’t approve of your relationship. It’s just that from my personal experience and Katrina’s as well, I’ve never seen a non idol and idol relationship work, except for Jongdae. I never wanted it to come off that it’s impossible, but rather that it takes a lot of time, effort, and trust to keep the relationship. You were here how long before finding out about Ye Seul? And even though you put up a strong front, what girl wouldn't second guess herself or have second thoughts? I’m sorry that I added fuel to the fire. I really wanted to try and push things aside and be friends but i was curious and seing you so nonchalant like it wasnt a big deal set me off. I though this girl doesn’t care enough about Changmin to even get mad at the article, how can she last? But it was wrong of me to say that you wouldnt last.”
“There’s no need to appologize. No one is at fault but myself and Changmin. Maybe if i had gotten agry, things wouldn’t be so broken right now.”
“You should talk to him. I know he hates me, but i’ve known him long enough to know that you mean everything to him. And ive known you long enough to know you love him.” Ryan said but only received a hum in response…
The two headed back to meet the other girls in the food section, as Ryan had already texted them that she found Civannah.
It was quiet for a bit before Civannah spoke. “ How did you meet Changmin?”
“It simple really. I was getting bullied for being a lesbian. At that time my relationship had just ended because her career was more important than our relationship. Even though i was an idol, my group wouldn’t be concider as their level. We weren’t famous enough, especially being a japanese group. Changmin and Jongdae came across me being bullied and stopped it in its track. I didn’t think id see them again after, but the next day and every day after they brought me to their practice room when i didn’t have practice to look after me. They became my brothers and i didn’t feel alone in Korea anymore.” Ryan told Civannah, a small smile gracing her face as she recalled the memories.
“Like brothers…” Civannah said, giving a small chuckle. “And here i thought you had a secret crush on him.”
“Never.” Ryan laughed. “I’m just very grateful to him. So give him one more chance, I don’t think you would regret it.”
And in a timely matter the phone that Civannah forgot she had dinged with a text notification. Civannah pulled out her phone and was careful to look at her phone, without letting Ryan catch a glimpse as the notification said it was an unknown sender, most likely the person who send the voice recording of Katrina saying she loved Changmin.
Sender Unknown:
*Changmin & Katrina at the cafe*
Rather cozy with your boyfriend...
“Are you okay? You look palier than when i found you.” Ryan joked as she tried to take a peak at Civannah’s phone.
“I’m fine. Let’s go. I’m starving and the girls are probably already there.” Civannah said, putting her phone back into the pockets of her shorts and walking off, leaving Ryan confused, with her only option to follow Civannah and hope that it wouldn’t be a problem in the future, she really wanted a friendship with Civannah, and to regain it with Changmin. She owed Changmin… and giving Civannah a push towards Changmin was all she could do without becoming heavily involved…something she never wanted in the first place.
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